6 years from leaving church. I have went through many emotions and cycles. First there was fear and guilt then I became more confident in my decision to leave and later became a little angry .
Now I’m fucking pissed. When I read some of the shit in the Bible it makes me want to explode. I look back and clearly see that I was brainwashed with fear and ignorance
Many people feel this way and the brainwashing sticks with you a while. Believers cherry pick what they believe out of the bible and many of us just knew the adults had to be right to believe in a god. I'm maybe 20 years an atheist these days but I am also 76 years old. I have anger over believing and even at the idea of studying to be a minister, but I had to know things. We need to face the fact that there are some things we do not or cannot know and that there is no evidence of gods.
I have a similar reaction, and would confront any "believers" directly, challenging their bull shit, exposing it . . . . . still do. Got pretty good at it.
When someone starts god bothering me, I just ask "Which one are you referring to, I recognise them all (as complete BS (don't tell them that part though ))?" Usually does the trick.
After 60 years I am still full of blazing anger at that total asshole of a headmaster at my primary school for trying to ram his Bible literalist lies and evil down my throat!
When I was about ten years old a friend and I were told that we had to attend Sunday school. On the first and last day on the way to Sunday school we dallied, allowed ourselves to become distracted and arrived late because we both sensed it was not a place to spend time, listening to a repetition of what we heard at school during the week. When we arrived the big Gothic doors were closed. However, from inside we could hear a preacher saying, ‘there shall be a wailing and gnashing of teeth.’ Wide eyed my friend and I looked at each other and I said, ‘fuck that!’ Then he said lets go down by the river for a walk. Later, we found a place to hide our fishing gear and every Sunday it was a day to look forward to as we went fishing. Eventually, our parents found out but nothing happened to us.
Church does provide community which is the hardest thing to leave. You go through an angry stage, it mellows out eventually and you live and let live.
It's great removing those shackles from your mind though isn't it?
Enjoy life without being beholden to groups with strict doctrine.
Yes. I cannot tell you the freedom I have felt since I realized it was all bullshit
@abyers1970 One thing they do get right is forgiveness. You need to accept what happened and not get eaten up by the need for revenge. So just accept they are religious twats and you can forgive them by understanding that without that experience, you would not be where you are now. Time to look forward, not back.
Just my 2 cents worth. Good luck with it all.