LINK Everybody Lies - Seth Stephens-Davidowitz - Hardcover
Spotted 4 new books at our library, one on dealing with anxiety, one with animal rights, one with the political scene today and one: “Everybody Lies – Big Data, New Data and what the internet can tell us about who we really are”. There is a prologue by Steven Pinker and he gives an example: ” When Ann Landers asked her readers in 1976 whether they regretted having children and was shocked to find that a majority did…”The author uses what is known as Google Trends and the idea that people lie about embarrassing thoughts to others but the anonymity that the internet brings they let their thoughts come out. A couple of titillating examples (which this group seems to love and which always gets the most attention, warning not for the prudish among us - if there are any): ” A man takes a break from Googling about the NFL and rap music to ask the search engine a question: “is it normal to have dreams about kissing men?” “A woman is on a vacation with her six best female friends. All her friends keep saying how much fun they are having. She sneaks off to Google “loneliness when away from husband”. A man, the previous woman’s husband, is on a vacation with his 6 best male friends. He sneaks off to Google to type “signs your wife is cheating!” ”…clear, unimpeachable evidence from Google searches that men have tremendous concern and insecurity around – wait for it – their penis size.” Women, on the other hand ”Based on this new data, the female equivalent of worrying about the size of your penis may be – pausing to build suspense – worrying about whether your vagina smells." In India the number one search beginning “my husband wants…” is “my husband wants me to breast feed him”? It is a common want but it is 4 times higher in India than anywhere else. The findings on racism and politics will surprise you a lot. He uses the “n….” word a lot because that word can tell us a lot about how people in different parts of the country feel. It seems it is more of an East – West (especially within states than a North South issue).
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Of course everybody lies. This is because there are some things it's just not polite to say, or some things you should not be telling.
DenoPenno
Level 9
May 14, 2018
0
But the book highlights how many people lie to themselves. It is also about how to read people's minds through looking at their Google searches.
I think all the fuss about lying is moralistic nonsense. Not does everyone lie, everyone should. If we share our trivial criticisms with everyone ("Why, yes. You DO look fat in that dress " ) we cause unnecessary hurt. If we share every momentary uncertainty, ("Yes, my child, I sometimes think life would have been easier without children" ), we may cause lasting pain for no benefit. If we expose our every dread or weakness, we invite bad people to take advantage of us. ("Oh, no. If you short me on my pay, I probably won't sue--I am too scared to speak in front of a small claims judge." ) No one wants to hear every single moment of truth and not everyone is entitled to the truth.
Zenobia1066
Level 2
May 12, 2018
2
The book talks about how data can be used to basically read everyone's thoughts. With political, sexual, social and other things people say one thing and think another. We get enough lying from the tRump people, we don't need it from our friends, family and other people we come into contact with.
I agree, everyone lies, just to varying degrees. I think of myself as a very honest person, but catch myself telling ‘little white lies’ sometimes out of convenience (?).
AstralSmoke
Level 8
May 5, 2018
0
It does make sense that if your idenity is unknown for some folks it is freeing, and it won't hurt your liver like booze.
silverotter11
Level 9
May 3, 2018
2
When I first joined I told a friend. She signed up and I was glad but later (sometimes I'm a little slow) I realize I was losing some of my anonymity. She was faster than I and dropped out. I use my name so I can be held accountable for my comments. This is supposed to be a learning process (at least for me). I think making thoughts in the open help cuts down of vitriolic thoughts??
@JackPedigo When I joined facebook last year it was my understanding you had to use ones REAL name. If I do not want my thoughts known I DON'T COMMENT!! Simple concept. I did limit the number of friends and have set the filters fairly high.
When I joined agnostic.com the fill in the blanks sign up had me create a user name so I just followed the sign up format.
The same thing applies, I comment and that means I stand by my comments. If I do not want something known I KEEP my thoughts to myself.
@silverotter11 At one time I discovered a long lost friend and his wife who had moved to Ireland (she was Irish and he of Irish descent). He had become a big time holy roller and was constantly railing about the bad ole US. I answered each of his postings in a reasoned way. No criticism or vitriol. After hollering about gay marriage I then sent him a notice that Ireland had just accepted this. No more from him. His wife was not as bad but she to eventually unfriended me. My problem is, is that for 16 years I was with a person who wasn't afraid of confrontation. She got away with it her whole life and no one took issue (it's all about body language and having a smart mouth. Some of that rubbed off on me. Besides I live on an island and have a big body of water to shield me.
@JackPedigo Here in eastern WA I do have to monitor my mouth. ONLY because there are some people I like and choose not to offen them since I know they do not like hearing "well god damnit!!!" which I'm prone to saying if I'm being clutzy and drop something, knock over a glass, etc. f-bombs are a bit of a problem, used in the same way. I never swear AT someone. I am not afraid of confrontation but one does have to pick ones battles.
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