Being his friend and sticking to your reasoning and critical thinking is a good way to help him. Part of the problem with leaving the faith is that you lose connection with friends and family you have built up over the years of your life. I was lucky, I was always strange even for someone in a strange religion, and never made tight bonded friendships with anyone (I did have a few casual friendships). Probably as a result of being a JW, I was also kept distant from my extended family who were catholic... so that wasn’t a factor one way or another. The more close relationships your friend has in the faith, the more he has to lose by leaving it. The more friendships he has outside the faith, particularly intelligent critical thinkers, the better his chances are of freeing his mind. For me, it was not a sudden “realization” that everything was BS. It eroded away over time. Even when I left, I felt like... it was just that some of the doctrine was wrong... it’s hard to remember exactly which things went when. The main impetus was to escape the feeling of being “stifled”, and not finding anyone in the faith I could deeply connect with on a personality level. Looking back on it now, while I do remember a lot of warmth and generosity in spirit, there was something very shallow about those friendships. It’s funny, it is probably my experience as a JW that is subconsciously abetting my efforts in forming strategies to influence the beliefs of your friend! Ha ha ha ... the serpent eats its tail! To this end, I would fish for the parts of his faith he questions or finds fault with. If his faith is so great and true, why isn’t he participating more? He will possibly blame himself in some way, but try to get him to go deeper than that.... it’s not just questioning that weakens faith... it’s those connections to people outside the faith... Emotion plays a huge role, when those connections outside the faith are stronger than those within... the faith will start to lose its grip.

Thank you so much for your reply.
We dated back when I was fourteen and yes it ended because of his beliefs. Now yes he worldly in the sense of drinking alcohol and I don't think he is a virgin at all. He does have a lot of attractive qualities like his morals and things but he expresses fear of "second guessing what he believes so even when we do talk about it and I present evidence to the contrary his response tends to be "well we don't know what it would have been like then" or "well we don't have perfect bodies anymore" or "we will discover something that explains that in the future" he is definitely brainwashed. He believes he is in the last generation and Armageddon will come by the time he is 30-35. I asked what he would do if it didn't and he wouldn't even consider the question saying he knows it will happen. Which scares me because he will have a huge midlife crisis I bet. I don't know it's hard i see so much good in him. I am a single mom and he was raised by one aswell and I have never felt judgement from him in the whole ten years I have known him. Thank you

Sorry he is 25

@Racphelle Okay, so I'm going to comment on each piece as I come upon it and I'll insert below each captioned area if you don't mind...it'll be easier that way for me.

"Now yes he worldly in the sense of drinking alcohol and I don't think he is a virgin at all."

You'd be surprised...many JW boys are virgins unless they've been molested by someone in the congregation when they were young. Yes, it's a thing. Regarding the alcohol, JW's DO drink alcohol...not all of them, but it's not something (at least when I was in the religion) that will get you into trouble unless you don't "drink in moderation". Many "elders" I knew drank beer during BBQ's that I could remember, and the ladies would sometimes drink mixed drinks. The thing with JW's, you can go from one "normal" family to one "very extreme" family in the JW cult. Our family was the later, but I knew many "normal" families who let their kids do extra curricular activities, go out with JW friends all the time, not have religion shoved down their gorges every night, for 3 hours at a time, etc., etc., I just wasn't lucky enough to be in one of those families. So, the fact that he drinks doesn't necessarily constitute "worldly".

If I were you, I would just ask him...."are you baptized a Jehovah's Witness?" If the answer is "No", then ask him "Do you plan to become baptized?" If not, then why not? If the answer is yes...run. Seriously...just don't hang around -- it will be a huge struggle.

He does have a lot of attractive qualities like his morals and things but he expresses fear of "second guessing what he believes so even when we do talk about it and I present evidence to the contrary his response tends to be "well we don't know what it would have been like then" or "well we don't have perfect bodies anymore" or "we will discover something that explains that in the future" he is definitely brainwashed.

This is a major problem with most of the young people (boys and girls) who are brainwashed from their youth. They are led to believe that if they stray, they will most certainly face "eternal death". They don't believe in hell in the traditional sense...to them it just stands for "the eternal resting place...aka, the dirt". So, they don't believe you're going to burn; instead, they believe that if they don't do correctly, they are NOT going to make it to the "Paradise" that is taught to them...the Paradise or the "righteous cleansed earth" as they call it...is a time after the great tribulation when all the "worldly people like you and me" are wiped from the earth. After the 1000 year reign (testing period for those who never knew JW...then the people who were super Straight A JW's will be resurrected to live eternally in this beautiful, polution free earth, together with all the other Straight A JW's who did everything right. :: rolls my eyes....in case you can't sense my sarcasm about these teachings ::

The problem is that once you're indoctrinated so hard as kids in the JW faith are, it's VERY difficult to leave. You feel like you're failing God. You feel like you're failing your family. You know that if you leave you are going to be shunned forever by all those you love (if you've been baptized as I was), and these things can weigh heavily upon you. So, many people just continue blindly following like the blind sheep that they are. They are not allowed to "question authority" or they are told to just get in line and just read/follow what the elders/NY brothers tell you is correct and you just believe it...because it's true. When, in essence, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Yet, they don't know this because they are reprimanded and potentially labeled an "apostate" if they do independent research, find out that teachings are incorrect and begin questioning things or speaking out in disagreement, or speaking negatively about the society/organization.

It's just one big fucked up mess that you do NOT want to become involved with.

Having said that, though, JW kids have the BEST MORALS (and I like to think so do those kids who used to be JW's but decided to leave later in life). We are respectful to others. We are kind, compassionate, we listen well, we love hard and we are always sincere with our feelings for others...at least those are some of the traits I've found in JW and x-JW kids.

So IF he's going to LEAVE the JW's...like, TOTALLY...NO STRADDLING THE FENCE like many of my siblings do...can't make up their minds if they want in or out. So, if he wants out, tell him to get out and start your new, long and happy life together; otherwise, go get JW. I've had to tell my siblings...you need to "shit or get off the pot." Either you go all in "worldly" or go all in "JW", but you're only faking it and being a hypocrite if you don't decide one way or another.

He believes he is in the last generation and Armageddon will come by the time he is 30-35. I asked what he would do if it didn't and he wouldn't even consider the question saying he knows it will happen.

This is not surprising to me at all. Guess what? EVERY GENERATION of the JW's dating back to the early 1900's has sworn that "this is the last generation!", "We're not going to make it to the next decade!", "We're not going to make it to the 21st century", "Any time now!", Bla bla fucking bla. They've been "wrongly" calling when the "end of times" is going to come for going on 2 centuries now. But this is another way they brainwash you....they make you believe that you must stay in line because the time is VERY CLOSE! The SKY IS FALLING TOMORROW! You don't want to be on the outside when that happens. The cult followers are very afraid of the end coming and being judged unworthy and not getting that "prize at the end of the road." It's just another way they brainwash their flock.

Which scares me because he will have a huge midlife crisis I bet.

Nah, I don't think so. If he leaves fully and doesn't look back as I did, he'll finally see the err of his ways once he's able to gain a new perspective...once he's able to do independent research and verify that all the bullshit he's been spoonfed all these years really is just that, bullshit. Once he realizes what I did all those years -- JW's are a cult interested in controlling their members thoughts and actions and taking their money and their time, nothing else. This is why JW's want their membership to get simple blue collar jobs such as window washer, carpenters, etc., etc., It's because a) they want their free labor on new Kingdom Hall constructions and b) they don't want them to get educated and realize the religion is bullshit and c) they want to use these people as door-knockers to gain new members (aka, more free labor and more money for the NY organization that's living high on the hog.)

I don't know it's hard I see so much good in him. I am a single mom and he was raised by one aswell and I have never felt judgement from him in the whole ten years I have known him.

My recommendation to you would just to be have a heart to heart with him. Let him know how you feel about him and let him know that you would really like to be with him and make a life with him, but you will NOT turn JW and you aren't interested in being with him AND the JW cult. If he's to be with you, he needs to decide you over the JW's and you guys get together and live happily ever after. If he can't lose his grip on the bullshit cult and their teachings, he'll never be "with you" in the sense I know you want to be with him in.

Sorry this was so long and drawn out...I just have a lot to say about this topic and I want to help you guys as much as I can. I feel sorry for him because I was him once upon a time, and I know the struggles that he has going on inside of him right now. He's in a very tough spot. He just has to be brave enough to make the right choice and drop that cult. Once he's done it, after some time passes and after he's done some investigation of his own (something the JW's frown upon), he'll see I'm right and the cult is deadly.

@Clauddvon thank you so much for taking the time to dissect my thoughts and fears for Me! I will take your advice and be honest and upfront when he comes to visit. I love his morals and who he Is, it is beliefs that I know are dangerous. Thank you again! I'm so sorry for what you went through but am so so glad you were so brave!

And it's often the case that theists won't give up on trying to change you.

That is extremely important for me to remember it's not all about the "how he is now" but also how he could become.... more involved in the church. Thank you for the truth!

John Cedars is amazing! He's so good that the Watchtower and Tract Society (their official organization in NY) has gone after him multiple times requesting him to cease and desist but he doesn't have too. I love watching his videos. As an x-JW myself I can affirm that he is ON POINT with everything he says in his videos.

Thank you so much, I have chills!!