Age is just a number (as long as it’s legal). The more important factors in my mind have to do with those social, psychological, and spiritual experience that tend to come with aging. Some people call this stuff Wisdom. If both of you are matched in these areas, then the age difference makes no difference. That said, some relationships can be very successful despite of experiential imbalances, especially if there is a high degree of trust between the two of you. Notice I haven’t said anything about love. Love grows over time but it’s not foundational to a successful relationship; trust, laughter, interest, respect, flexibility, communication are the secret ingredients here. Go for it!
I don't think it matters. A connection matters more.
At this point in time, you are both legally adults, so it does not matter too much. If you had started dating ten years earlier, it would. I do not have a lot of experience personally with age gap relationships since I personally date within 5 years of my age, but I think you should be with him if he really makes you happy and you feel a connection.
My few concerns about this would be if you have not yet actually met him in person. Regardless of your age divide, I think you should get to know someone in person before you get serious and have them meet your parents. Two other aspects to take into account are different life experiences and health issues when he gets older. I think just making sure you know the differences you do have and how you will deal with those is important. I hope this helps and everything goes well!
it is not taboo and it is your life. if you are happy its all good. I would treat him like any man you really care about.
thanks for the comment
thanks for the comment
@msbutterfly18 you're more than welcome. if it feels right and good just do it.
My wife is 23 years younger than I, and we get along great. Sometime, while shopping, she's all like "Daddy, will you buy me this?" and we have quite a bit of fun with it. I don't look my age (I'm 64) so that helps!
LOL I love that, and you're right, well whatever 64 looks like, you look good.
Funny "Daddy" was a term of endearment I used on my younger dh haha. sigh.... I MISS HIM SO MUCH!
/currently trying to get out of a crush w/a 64 y.o. myself, who also belies his age.
Thank you, Qualia, for your kind words towards my appearance. The thing is, I refuse to give in to whatever people expect of someone my age...my MIL is my age, but MUCH older, y'know? I realize it will come crashing down on me at some point, but right now, I'm in decent health, on NO medication at all, and I want to keep it that way as long as possible. I'm not going into "old age" without kicking and screaming!
@drumreaper You're welcome
ikwym, my MIL has been old forever... mentally at least. The type that prolly thinks Pink Floyd is a person .... she's only 70 but has been acting 90 & crotchety forever -_-
It may not now. But if you guys were to develop a serious, long term relationship, ask yourself what life might be like for you both in, say, 10 years.
Only you can know what makes you happy. The only approval you need is your own. They will either accept it, or they won’t. But that’s their problem.
My late dh was 11 years my jr. We were together 20 years. if you two wind up together long term and (either way) make sure your ducks are lined up in a row properly financially, because if you are married and stay together your chances of experiencing widowhood are higher, which is a sh--y but inevitable club to be in. While mine did well, he thought he was immortal, he was wrong.
I think it would only matter to you two if you are wanting a family. Remember you haven't actually met him yet - so you don't know what he's like in person, let alone living with him. Assuming that works - and he does want kids - say you have a baby when you're 30, he'll be 45 - and when the kid is 20 - he'll be my age, 65. I never wanted kids, so I can't be an authority on this - but at 65, I would not want to be dealing with a 20 year old kid.
There are a lot of relationships with major gaps in age that work very well; there are relationships that don't. I would not introduce him - I would get to know him in person like any other relationship you would get into. Though since you have not met him yet - be security conscious. Make your first meeting a double date with a friend, including a male who, if he turns out to be a predator, can protect you.
Yes, it matters.
My older boyfriends generally had already raised children and didn't want more which wasn't what I was looking for. Plus, I often felt like some sort of "trophy", on display when they wanted to show off. That being said, I was involved with one of the older men for 10 years and almost married him.
I finally married a much younger man. Since our divorce, I often feel guilty for taking away his opportunity to meet someone he had more in common with.
I think age only matters to an extent. I've always had women younger than me by 5-10 years take interest in me, but it's not an issue in my opinion.
That said, I would hold off on the family introduction for a few dates at least. If anything it'll allow you time to see if this will go somewhere and validate its level of seriousness first.
That said, you know how you feel and you also know your family best, so if you feel it's a step to take, go for it!
It shouldn't matter as long as you get along. As the great, Groucho Marx once said, "you're as young as who you feel".
In the majority of cases where the age difference is slight then no. I think sometimes there should be questions raised if there is a big age difference - but by & large each case is specific.
There is a show on Netflix I watched recently about this topic called Age Gap Love. You should check it out. It deals with the taboo and struggles of that type of relationship. I feel if it isn’t hurting anyone, it’s legal, and everyone is a participating member, then go for it. I may not understand it but I can’t stop who you fall in love with