Why aren't relationships 50/50?
I've always wondered why I end up paying for everything when I had boyfriends? All 3 of them had money and jobs. My first ex had $100's because he was a drug dealer. Yet, he made me buy toilet paper and soap for him? My second ex wasted money. I ended up paying to go out to eat for both of us, (We rarely went, I don't make much on minimum wage) buying his deodorant, shampoo, video games, and sheets for his bed. (He only had a comforter that I gave him) He did live with roommates in an apartment at first. He then quit his Popeye's job to go work under the table with his father's local carpet cleaning business. He moved in with his whole family again. He's now 29-years-old doing the same thing. (I talked to him the last time I blocked him month's ago) He doesn't make as much as the fast food job, but oh well. He bought a Magic playing card for $100! A piece of hard paper with coloring on it! As well as video games. I bought him games too. Shawn made me pay for his camp site for a night. Yet he wouldn't buy me a Sonic drink, but bought one and ate it in front of me. He said we do 50/50 in a relationship. I had to pay for a ride to Wal-Mart too.
What is a healthy relationship supposed to look like? I've never been in one. I gave up on finding a gentleman. Boys are attracted to men. Men think I'm a teenager. Oh well, at least I know how to live without a boyfriend. I don't count the 4 days with Shawn as a boyfriend. So it's been over 2 years being single. I figured I'll live happily ever after by myself and with a few close, supportive friends. My family kind of left me since I became an atheist.
Oh, grub time again! I'm ravenous, again.
1
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Hi De Hi Sarah, nice to chat to you again, I guess you realize you are your own worst enemy.? you seem to be attracted to real arseholes ! Why do you tolerate such blatant spongers and users ? As soon as you realize what they are like, tell them to bugger off ! Why do you continue to be their ATM machine ? Move on and hope for better luck next time..50-50 is fine but 100 to zero is unacceptable.
madmac
Level 7
May 9, 2018
1
Yep. I know. All the a-holes find me. He's gone.
Hi De Hi Sarah, nice to chat to you again, I guess you realize you are your own worst enemy.? you seem to be attracted to real arseholes ! Why do you tolerate such blatant spongers and users ? As soon as you realize what they are like, tell them to bugger off ! Why do you continue to be their ATM machine ? Move on and hope for better luck next time..50-50 is fine but 100 to zero is unacceptable.
madmac
Level 7
May 9, 2018
1
Sometimes it's 50/50, sometimes it's 60/40, sometimes 70/30, etc. The bottom line is finding overall balance, and to know that it goes both ways.
bleurowz
Level 8
May 8, 2018
1
It always ends up for me as being 90/10. I am the 90%. It sucks. Boys suck. I want to date a man. I'm 30 FFS! Men think I look like a teenager though, that is why they won't date me.
@Sarahroo29 First time I've ever heard a woman complaining about looking younger than she is, lol.
@LenHazell53 Lol. It has its quirks.
Why aren't relationships 50/50?
They are if you find a good one.
No. 1 warning signal of trouble brewing
If you are living together and one of you is still talking about, your money and my money instead of OUR money, one of you is being taken for a mug and the other is a greedy bastard.
No. 2 warning sign
You are dating and one of you is paying for all the dates and the other is not even offering one of you is being taken for a mug and the other is a greedy bastard.
No.3
One of you is paying for everything, the other is initiating sex at their own home, and expecting the payer to go home at their own expense afterward. one of you is being taken for a mug and the other is a greedy bastard.
LenHazell53
Level 9
May 8, 2018
1
I've ended up only dating "boys," not men. I want to date a man. I won't get to now. Men think I am too young and all the boys want me.
@Sarahroo29 You'll get older, just give it time.
@LenHazell53 Yeah.
If you don't open your wallet, they can't reach in and take anything from you. Don't give someone an opportunity to use you. Don't offer to pay. Ask them "do you want to split (a meal, a pizza, etc.)?" I think you may be doing what I sometimes do, which is to offer to pay because I am lonely and I want their company. Once you offer to be a doormat, they will walk all over you. So don't offer. But that means you have to learn to like being on your own.
citronella
Level 7
May 7, 2018
1
I left him before he asked me again for the gas money. I never paid the $10 in gas I owed him. I did however pay the $24 for his camp site at an RV parking place. That was all I paid for him in this relationship, except for my health.
I'd like to ask my ex that same question ( not really, but..). She wanted all the assets on her side of the spreadsheet and all the liabilities on mine! Interesting philosophy.
farmboy2017
Level 7
May 7, 2018
0
Sounds like you have horrible taste in guys. Don’t let people take advantage of you.
Donto101
Level 7
May 7, 2018
3
They find me and sound fine in the beginning. Then their colors show and I end up paying the bill or I end up being hurt. I was by all 3 of them. All 3 of these boys found me.
That was my parting thought
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