I have a friend that is Christian and has been in a series of terrible relationships. She always seems to find guys that are controlling and in some cases just mean. She was talking with me about why she seems to gravitate toward these types of men.
I thought about it for a while, and I made a suggestion that she did not like. As a devout Christian, she is literally brainwashed in a god that created man to worship him (narcissist). If you do not worship him, he will punish you in terrible ways for the rest of your existence. If you do worship him, some time in the future he will give you everything you ever wanted. Someday. You can ask him for things you may need and things you want, but he only gives you things he thinks you should have, and when he thinks you should have them.
Sounds pretty much like the guys she dates. She’s dating her god. And he sucks.
Keep nailing it smilinjan. ...though fundies are shrinking from USA population percentages THEY MAKE THE MOST NOISE down from 35% to 22% while Atheists are approaching 25% most still cower in closets like agnostics dot com. ...they demand school kids prEy to the flag while Atheist parents rarely file ACLU lawsuits under the name John Doe. ...few slingshots MANY GOLIATH gawd spewers
The comparison is spot on and I can see why she doesn't like it. But maybe you have planted a seed which will grow in time.
This phenomenon of human behavior isn't limited to just believers. As the old truism goes: The more desirable a woman is, the less evolved the man she's with is. When it comes to romantic and sexual interactions, we're all basically still apes.
During the time of the cave man, there was some benefit to this dychotomy. The physically stronger males were more apt to be able to protect from predators and invading tribes. Smaller, smarter males were less important to survival. Like the women and children, they needed protecting in order to fulfill their role of advancing the tribe through better and more efficient means of hunting and gathering.
For what ever reason, we have not evolved as a species in this regard, even as technological advancement has rendered physical prowess less and less important.
Today, even in war, the smaller smarter participant ultimately wins. The larger participant may still be able to emerge victorious in hand to hand combat, but all the combat skills in the world are nothing compared to an efficiently designed weapon of mass distruction built by one single engineer.
This is a flaw in the evolutionary process, and I'm not sure how it's ultimately going to play out. Will we eventually catch up? Will it cause us to de-evolve back in to the stone age? Will this be what ends up destroying us? Only time will tell.
You don’t have to be a Christian to be addicted to assholes
We are weird creatures. I still remember a conversation I had with a girl who had been is several such relationships. I asked why she just kept getting herself into them and she said that she had thought about it and it was because people like her saw strength in men like that. She knew the problem but couldn't seem to overcome her tendency. Maybe a lot of Christians see the problem but just can't seem to do the logical thing. I really like your argument and she may remember it and she may act on it in the future. Time will tell.