For those who knew their grandparents what were they like?
I had not one or two, but three sets (one step) of the most wonderful grandparents anyone could ever ask for, as a result, while I realize this is naive, it's still odd and tragic to me when someone has a nasty one.
It's very hard for me to wrap my head around it.
This is why karma is something I can never put any stock in, as my kid got ripped off in that department with her paternal grandmother(whom I believe has a profound personality disorder) and the 'good' one is across the country.
Lastly has anyone ever experienced someone who was a sub par parent but made a good grandparent?
My paternal grandfather was a tobacco chewing, horse keeping, Lone star drinking, scrawny angular blue eyed guy who was renowned for his womanizing. He committed some serious sins and was flat out creepy at times but I loved him all the same. He succumbed to alzheimers. His last driving trip he got lost and wound up in a hipster record store in Austin Texas.
Paternal grandma was a social worker and while mellow would tell us kids "ya'll can be replaced" in a thick southern accent, when we annoyed her. Miss her too
Maternal grandfather was a piano tuner. I adored him, he had a super corny sense of humor and when he saw the opportunity would slink into the living room to play a tune on the hammond organ of a song appropriate to whatever the topic was we were all discussing. Hysterical.
He spoiled me rotten as did maternal grandma. She was a fellow nightowl from my earliest memories. I remember us eating corn out of the fridge in the middle of the night when i must have been a toddler. We learned how to make the best mexican pralines together. When I was young it didn't matter the time of year if I wanted to dye easter eggs in the middle of winter it wasn't a thing, she'd do them with me.
I never felt like a burden to them. I miss them horribly still.
Step grandparents, both super talented itty bitty martian people. Step grandma was a world class seamstress, smoked all day, drank coffee all day. We shared a birthday.
Grandpa was an expert woodworker & made crafty toys for craft shows they'd travel to.
One memory of them that sticks out fondly is him driving in their motor home hitting bumps in the road as his tiny self bounced up and down in the chair. LOL
My Fil was wonderful, would get on the floor to play with the kids. Sadly he married his opposite.
All four grandparents lived into my adulthood, and three great grandparents lived through much of my childhood. My mom's parents were evangelical and quick with pretty severe physical punishment. I found her version of them difficult to merge with my experience of them being my fun set. They were fun loving pranksters. My other set was much more reserved and proper. I consider myself very fortunate to have known all of them.
My Son in law's parents have done a switch. Growing up his dad was the reliable one, his mother had some major issues, and his parents have been divorced for ages. Now, dad had some business losses, walked away from the business and left SIL responsible for work not done and bills not paid. His mom on the other hand is clean, sober, and does the child care for them. That was not how anyone expected that script to turn out.
I got to know my great grandparents. My great grandfather lived to be 99, and was ornery til the day he died. I'd have never let my kids be alone with him for a second. I knew grandparents on both sides of the family, my dad's parents were closer and younger than my mom's parents. I learned lots from my grandmother.
My greatest regret is my kids never got to know my mother as she passed away when I was a teenager, and my dad remarried to the wicked witch of the World.
That's wise your having protected your kids from great grandfather.
Having a situation like that right now having trouble extricating. My mil doesn't realize how toxic she is -_-
Sorry about wicked step mom. Now that's another topic altogether. I've had awful ones and great steps.
My maternal grandparents were teachers on Native American 'reservations' from the 30's to 60's. North Dakota, Minnesota and Oregon. My grandmother lived to be 90, and we talked about it some.
As I've learned more history, I would like to be able to ask her more. She recorded native songs, and we sent some to the library of Congress archives. My mother and aunt learned hand weaving from the girls on the Rez.
I realize this is a controversial topic, and my only intention here is to share about grandparents.
The other side was Pentecostal..whole nother story!
My maternal l grandarents were wonderful people, very poor working class, but hearts of gold and gave me the only true love I ever felt as a child....I thank my lucky stars for them.
My Paternal grandparents were a bit more aloof ,lower middle class. My grandfather maybe spoke 3 words to me in his whole life. Old school Victorian era he was born in when.children were "seen and not heard"
Sad thing was he broke his leg as a boy.The medical treatment was poor in those days and they miss set his leg,he then had 1 leg shorter than the other. Turned out it saved his life. At 18 all his class mates were called up to the British Army and sent to the front in WWI. Not one survived the war in the trenches. But for that leg break I would not be here........makes you think.
My maternal grandfather told of suffering with the terrible flu in a barn in France. Death all around. He survived, so I'm here!
That is lucky. My late maternal grandfather wanted to join, which is odd to me because he was such a soft moosh of a guy, but being that he was flat footed was refused.
I had three sets of grandparents as well. My grandmother on my dad's side died of a massive stroke when I was about six. My dad disappeared when I was ten, and so I never saw my grandfather much after that. He's dead now.
My stepdad's parents were miserable people. Super religious, complete slobs, and my grandmother rarely left her bed except to waz or scream at my stepdad if he wasn't within screaming distance.
My mom's parents on the other hand... As I said, my dad disappeared when I was young, and my stepdad was violent and abusive... so my grandfather would come get us kids every weekend and take us to his house. He would take me fishing (even though I could never sit still and it made him crazy). When I was in high school things got rough between us, but that' because I was also pretty rebellious.
In retrospect I can see how much he tried to be the father to our family that we never had. I was with him after his last heart attack, and he died shortly after I returned home (we all thought he had gotten better). When my grandmother died, I had the honor of holding her hand as she took her last breath.
I miss them a lot, but I'm glad I had the time with them that I did.
Being present for a loved one crossing is a real gift. I was able to do that with one of my beloved grandmothers. For me that really helped with the grieving process. It's great you were able to be there for yours.
My paternal grandfather died 17 years before I was born. My paternal grandmother was as an emotionally distant person who tended toward making strong statemenst which sometime stung. My maternal grandmother was a kind, loving woman, and my maternal grandfather was somewhat standoffish, but kind tome. However, he was not always so kind to all of my cousins.
I was raised by my grandfather. He was 17 and fibbed about his age to join the army. He ended up in the Korean war and was a war hero. He came back and raised 7 kids, and I was the first of their grandkids. He taught me how to treat other people, how to be a good man and neighbor, how family should be treated, I learned a sense of honor and value of giving my word, a work ethic, and (and in my state this is no small thing) not to be a racist or misogynist. He was my hero, and I miss him to this day. His was the last funeral I ever went to, and the only one I cried openly and unashamedly at. I hope I'm even a tenth of the man he raised me to be.
It sounds like your late grandfather did a wonderful job with you. Whoever is in your future will surely notice the lessons imparted on you and should thank their lucky stars to have someone willing to be introspective enough to grow.
The ability to be self reflective is a very important quality.
Never met my dad's father. I'm pretty sure he split before dad was born and he was raised by his "uncle" Herb.
I don't know if he was really his uncle or not but I remember him saying a few times about how he treated him like shit, info about his mom and the past were murky at best.
As far as my mom's parents go, I don't recall ever meeting them, they lived about two thousand miles away in Southern Cal.
I know they were together until they died.
I remember my grandmother's funeral because I was a pallbearer when they brought her body back to be buried in Kenosha Wisconsin where their family was from.