If there is any consolation (which I think is not but anyhow ) you are not the only one...... Maybe we should revive the Sargent Pepper Lonely Hearts club !!! I'll nominate you for President ????

You will find mroe honest peopel on this site than in the general population.

I think religious belief spawns dishonesty. When the beliefs seem wrogn they lie to cover it up.

Some people dislike themselves and try to make themselves more interesting by lying and for some people, it becomes their normal behavior.

Authentic honestly should not be too much to ask. If it is, I'll grow old with my cats. (;

To me, one person's lies are another persons means of coping...or something like that. I dated the same dude for over 10 years and try as we might we could never fully bond, the whole mating ritual thing of shacking up didn't happen. We finally broke up almost 2 years ago and then he admitted his addictions (porn, mainly, hoarding and pot I already figured out years earlier also not through his willing disclosure). We are still good friends. Did he lie to me all those years? I don't see it that way. I think he was ashamed or hadn't really come to terms with things himself. It's only when the pressure came off and I left the relationship that he really was able to talk about this stuff that hangs him up. I think he loved what we had and it might have been the only really stable thing he'd ever had. Fortunately I was at a point where friends with benefits was all I wanted, too, so I wasn't hurt. It sounds like you've been pretty hurt. Hugs and I hope you find what you're looking for.

I am not sure why. I told a girl what I wonted was honesty. I can handle anything talk about anything. It was beyond her,she just could not do it. She is long gone. I don't won't her in my life.

We are taught to be dishonest. people want other people to like them so they tell them what they think they want to hear. It's a difficult thing to stop doing because our culture reinforces it all the time, everywhere.

We have to get to a point where we like ourselves and the rest of the world can like us or not, and it doesn't matter. Since getting to that point, I've found that honest people are attracted to me, and me to them. Get real. It's the only way to be.

We are taught to be nice to others instead of honest. so we start off with a small lie to save feelings. If we get away with it it esculates from there. Blame our culture !!

Maybe people try to impress, or hide their flaws, and they get caught in the lie hoping you will never find out, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to come clean, but also as you are feeling, the worse it is for the other person to find out.
I have a different approach, under promise and over deliver, I get far fewer (ie none) potential contacts, but I once tried to be what people, women in particular wanted. You tick all the boxes, bust your gut, but they want more, and anytime you let your game slip. "You don't love me any more!"

Yes, I'm not sure why some people can't be honest. I guess they are taught that dishonesty is the way to get what you want. (A religious upbringing teaches that - do what you want and then just ask for forgiveness later from your mythical god, with no thought for the hurt party.)

I had a fellow for 8 years, and we got along fine in many respects, but his dishonesty with me about his actions outside our relationship was something I couldn't handle. The dishonesty bothered me more than the cheating, as if he'd been honest up front, I could have chosen to stay with him, or leave him. But his dishonesty took that choice away from me. To be duped and fooled while he did stuff behind my back bothered me to the point it was finally the last straw.

I simply prefer honesty. If I can't trust my intimate partner, I'd rather just be alone. Ah, but to have a compatible partner with whom I can trust with honesty, that would be nice!

You can't stop stupid

I’ll notice people shocked by honesty.. Not the TMI stuff, but actually saying what you think - and doing what you say… I’ll judge someone by their reluctance to trust. Maybe I shouldn’t, but it’s often an indicator of how traumatized they are from previous r/s’s with fakes.

That question is up there with "Why do good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people?", "Do people really think the earth is 6000 years old?" And "Why do twinkies taste so good when it still tastes of chemicals?"

We learn to lie as children. Sometimes is that we avoid honesty as a mechanism of defense. Then we are Honest and people call us Mean. I choose being Mean because I am Honest. If some here can not handle it. So be it. Be Honest always!

The truth hurts. People would rather embrace the lie than deal with what the truth brings.