My husband, who was an emotional vampire, ended our 17 year marriage with an affair last year. I have had a chronic illness my entire adult life, and my health had been in steady decline since just a few years after we married. My husband always passed physicals with flying colors. After I finally got him to move out, which shouldn't have been as difficult as it was, I immediately began to get physically stronger and he was in hospital within days of the doors swinging shut behind him. Twice. I saw a picture of him taken three months afterward, and he was positively gray and looked like he had aged a decade. It's been a year now, and although i will have a chronic illness for the rest of my life, I have lost about 34 pounds, regained almost all the vigor I had before marrying, and can walk for miles. A year ago I couldn't have made it around a neighborhood block without having to rest for an hour. I had no idea, until I kicked the monster out, what he was doing to me both emotionally and physically.

I can't say. Historically, I've chosen poorly when it comes to my relationships, but psychopaths? The line isn't very clear...

My ex is with a sociopath. Long story, but he has gone as far as punching her in the face and giving her black eyes, pushing her into a car, pushing her into a table and making her bleed, threatening to take her kids away and burn down her parents house and her place of employment. He has cheated on her numerous times and gotten other women pregnant. He's also threatened to kill himself if she left him. He keeps track of her every move. Moved her away from her friends and family, and of course lies whenever he opens his mouth. He posted half naked pictures of her on his Facebook when he wanted her to do something and she didn't want to do it and said he would take the pics down when she complied. These are just a few things. She has stayed with him through it all, even after having an out....."for the kids". Oh and he would apparently sell drugs when he was younger and then hit the person with any nearby object to knock them out and take the drugs back while keeping the money. I almost forgot the DUIs. He's also a member of the U.S. military. Great guy!

Unfortunately, most women don't even begin to entertain the thought of leaving a sociopath until children are involved. They ignore the red flags for years on end, and when they've finally had enough of the escalating violence, philandering and apathy, leaving the situation is very difficult and dangerous.

Some advice on identifying a sociopath: At the beginning of the relationship, always observe how they treat others when they think that you're not looking. They will treat you well at the beginning because they have an agenda. But if they're nasty to service people or other strangers, cut and run before it's too late.

That, or deal with the future consequences. It's up to you.

There are female sociopaths.

I think women can be sociopaths too.

I hope you advised that only a trained professional can change a sociopath. Reminds me of the "make friends with the bully" campaign after the shooting at Parkland.

My lovely wife is married to a practicing sociopath. She finds it entertaining.