Getting ostracized for refusing to go to the grandkids christening at which they christened my son of 27
Being in the Navy thru all my marriage... Their mother ran the house. They were introduced to church more as a social activity. Wife never attended church either unless for a wedding. My son was 6 when we divorced. Son is the youngest. While on his early teens he took to be involved a lot with church activities... Something was going on. It was not religion that got him, it was the prettiest coolest girls were doing church activities and him and a middle eastern kid were the only brave enough to go be were the girls went. Somehow he just made us proud it was a "hormone issue" and not religion. They got invited to camp, to every birthday party and dance activity. My son is 28 now. Possible atheist and keeping it to himself. He has seen ugly, he is an Afghanistan vet that volunteered to go there. He is a hell of a Dancer and my only Hero because his mother did of him what she wanted me to be. My oldest daughter sing in a church chorus, she is part of Jacksonville FL Blues Society, has managed an Industrial Metal Band, still playing guitar and bass. And she knows not to cross into my boundary, my second daughter is the little devil taken after her Dad. Kids will grow and go their own way... you keep your relation honest even if you lose them to religion they never stop from being yours. My son is a 6'4" Latin Dance Maniac thinking into becoming a Lawyer now but he will only go to a school nearby a major dance community in the city. He dances in Vegas for Sin City Salseros and work for Cesar's Enterprises so he is set but wants to move to Southern Florida because of the Dancing there. He is already a homeowner so I have to be grateful to the Mom. Something I did Right was Choosing the Right Mother for My Children. I am sure the Father of Your Children Feels the Same Way. Parenthood Was Never Meant To Be Easy. But It is Very Rewarding... You Set a Good Example. They are checking everything you do. Mothers are the Nurturers and the Most Important Person in the Development of a Human Being.
Getting my mother and my ex-wife to shut their mouths and mind their own business. My ex did not contribute to the raising of my children, so she has no say in anything as far as I am concerned. My mother in law was a devout Catholic, and a lovely woman, she did not interfere at all. She burst out laughing one day when my then 3 year old daughter walked up to her and said, I'm not going to heaven nanny" "I'm going to Nimbin". Nimbin is the hippie capital of oz, and I did the hippie thing 30 years ago.
I for one haven’t raised atheist children. At least, that was my intent. My intent was to raise my children, so they could choose what was best for them. When they were younger, they would ask me about my positions on God. My canned response was “how do you feel or what do you think.” I didn't want my opinion to influence them. My son is a Buddhist and I believe my daughter is agnostic. I am very proud of both of them.
My kids are religious, and it's difficult, trying to teach them not to worry about my soul or morality. I try to respect their right to a choice, and most of my family are religious so I allow them to go to church with them and give them a much needed social network, but I also explain my position and hope that one day they find their way towards it on their own.
Other people? Fuck 'em. Teach kids to be who they are and stand up for it, for themselves. Encountering pushback? Good training for the current anti-Trump resistance and other counter-movements.
When I was in 6th grade they still started the day saying the Lord's Prayer. I and a couple other Jewish kids would go stand in the hall in non-participation and protest. (It was probably already illegal by then.)
My kids' mom and I are both iconoclasts, and so have our two kids always been.
Maybe you former Christians are just still deferential to that milieu or feel guilty about leaving.
#1.) Explaining why religious people are the way they are #2.) Trying to help them fit into our "christian" american society #3.) Assisting them by supporting their views, but also teaching them to conceal their views from others (We live in Alabama)
I raised three wonderful kids. When they were young I let them go to church with my parents every once and awhile. I wan't them to at least know something about religion, so they could make an informed decision. They are all atheist now. The only thing that bothers me is that the can be very self centered, but that might be a millennial thing.
To be honest - keeping up with them. They reached agnosticism before I did, which is a growing trend in the UK. Things "clicked" for me when I reconciled (or, rather, failed to reconcile) my own scientific understandings (especially with regard to evolution) with faith.
I had begun thinking I was an atheist but didn't want to sway my daughter - until she told me she didn't believe - had never believed - and thought since she was VERY young that god was a made up story to make kids be good like the boogey-man
Both my daughters were raised Christian. I was raised a Buddhist with parents that allowed me to have freedom. My reasoning skills to asked "Why" couldn't be contained within Christianity. So, for my girls... I had planted the seed of asking "Why". My youngest has already determined she can't be a Christian, just doing it for the sake of her mother. The other one will have to go thru the process and eventually will see the spiritual lacking of Christianity. Everything will take time. My youngest already have the skill of faking it among Christians and know the talk. I blend into the culture and so will she.
Instilling in them the self esteem necessary to offset the societal pushback for critical thinking… I was close to mine, including some ‘homeschooling,’ but when seemingly every other person in their lives had a different take on reality than their dad ..it got tuff … and this ‘time of year’ didn’t help..
But alas - success, they’ve become Millennial Atheist Wonderwomen!
My mom was non-religious when I was growing up, but she wanted to let me pick my own path, so she sent me to multiple churches, church camps, etc. I quickly learned that these ideas were not for me. I helped raise a child and religion was never an issue, and we lived in a very hippie-ish community (Eugene, Oregon), so the school was never an issue either. Come to think of it, when I was going to school here in Oregon (Portland) and Alaska (Anchorage), it was never an issue. But if religion had been an issue for my boyo, I would have told him that it was his to make.