almost 3 yrs ago my 'wife' of 38 yrs just walked away as tho I was a complete stranger .. i never rasied a hand to her, never called her a name, she had control of all the money ... I trusted her 100% and she just walked away. I too wondered what I did wrong for a long time ... now i realize 'she' is just fuct up nuts. ... and probably gay ... not that there is anything wrong with that, but she didnt talk about it ... but that would explain a lot! Peace.

Human nature for the people that reason things out... I did it too. I'm settled down again and using my experiences and knowledge to lead and guide me has kept me from doing or saying anything stupid.... yep... I screwed up.... but a daily reprieve can help you... reflection is a good thing.

because it sucks to go through the pain of a loss of connection

Because that is what people do if they are not smug, self-contained and self-absorbed people.

I am the easiest guy to break up with... that always annoy them but I don't do it on purpose. I got that on/off button... I write them a few songs/poems and move on without baggage but I had never had a Bad Break Up full of profanity or violence or broken things or simply disgusting... never been on my nature. They all could always count on me afterwards. Maybe I denied the failure and substituted it with a Level Up. ????? Maybe I simply Never Invested Enough!!!! But I tend to write my best after they all gone... well sometimes.

Depends on the break-up. If you're the one being dumped, yeah I can see that sort of introspective ritual. If you're the one doing the dumping, not so much.

However, if you're the one constantly trying to redefine yourself, I think it's important to sit down and define yourself to begin with. I know it sounds a little odd but bear with me. A lot of people rush into a lot of relationships just looking for someone, anyone, rather than someone who's right for them. It's important, more than finding someone to love, to learn to love yourself, to know yourself, and to be okay with being alone.

Take time to love yourself and know yourself, then start looking, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.

We're taught that relationship failures are a signal of some kind of personal or moral failure and that by not succeeding we are broken persons.