Is it anything that can't be explained by confirmation bias? We notice the hits and not the misses? Random and positive is measured against how many random and negative, or random and neutral? We tend to notice and count the extremes, thus feeling like they have more meaning without understanding the sheer number of things we are disregarding.

A triumph of post-rationalisation

Resilience lets you focus on the positive to overcome the negative.

Resilience lets you focus on the positive to overcome the negative.

In the sense that every effect has a cause I agree with the statement. But generally speaking that's not how people mean it when they say it.

Usually this phrases use falls into one of two categories: right after some unexpected upheaval in a person's life or right after some unexpected boon in a person's life that has also seen some upheaval.

The first use is well intentioned enough, it's meant as a reassurance that the problem is temporary and that the outcome will end up being positive.

The second use is also meant assure but to me often feels like a reaffirmation to the speaker that they were right to say it the first time.

I try to take both in the spirit they're intended, as harmless platitudes. That said I do not care for the lack of agency this phrase implies. We have so little control in our lives anyway I hate to surrender even a tiny portion.

Without knowing the very specific details of your situation it is difficult to say too much for sure. But by your own account I can infer you had a difficult decision to make and you had time to think about the out come. You made the best choices you could and by random chance other things just fell into place. Sounds to me you used a good combo of luck and skill.

We always look for reasons, effects always follow causes for us and we want to know the causes, even though, just like the effects the causes themselves are contingent, they could have been otherwise.

I also think that we are complicit in our own future. While our acts can't guarantee what will happen it generally plays a role in what does happen...my kind of karma.

Determinism and chance are the only reasons that have so far been detected.

The one i don't like is 'what comes around, goes around.'.... it usually never goes around enough. like when that thief broke came around and broke into my house, stole a bunch of shit and started using my credit cards and i found out she was out with my checkbook and credit cards saying she was my wife....it wasn't like i could go around and shoot her in the head as a public service to society.. it never goes around enough!!!!!

Difficult to unhitch our brains from that kind of thinking.
I know, rationally, that the universe does not give a rats arse about my insignificant life. But at the same time there are moments , or weeks, when it seems to be deliberately throwing a spanner in the works, or giving you the golden handshake .
I do agree though, the more I man up and face things head on, the better the result and the less scary they are when tackled. Are adult problems like childhood bogey men? Only scary when we cower away and cover our face with our hands instead of calling them out ?

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