Today I received this message from a man in Australia:

“You have a fine bio and a set of photographs which has understandably resulted in a huge following. However, what you enjoy does not quite match up with your proclaimed need to intimacy, no mention being made of love or sex. I suspect that you are asexual and therefore, not compatible with my needs.”

In society’s eyes, a very real dichotomy holds sway: you are either a sexless, socially acceptable “mommy,” or a bad girl who purrs and oozes sex. His message reeked of the Madonna/Whore complex.

With online dating, it is dangerous for women to explicitly mention sex in their profiles. I learned this the hard way, after being deluged by messages from sex hounds.

So, I deleted the word “sex” from my profile, replacing it with “intimacy.” Also removed “naked body." Previously, I wrote:

“Skinny dipping at night made me a lifelong sensualist. In August the lake was warm as bath water. Icy cold streams flowed up from the bottom. Swimming after dark through the warm water, I dived down and let the cold streams caress my naked body. The feeling was exquisite.”

Oops. This triggered an avalanche of sexual come-ons. I downshifted to:

“Skinny dipping at night made me a lifelong sensualist. August evenings at the lake were warm as bath water, accentuated by icy cold streams flowing up from the bottom. It was an exquisite experience I long to share.”

My profile describes me as intense, playful and passionate. “I miss the tender touch, laughter, conversation, intimacy, teamwork and fun of a committed, loving relationship."

Isn’t that enough?