I was legally separated from my wife of eventually 19 years. Living in an European country. My wife was told by me... I am leaving and not coming back, as you wanted it... find a lawyer work out the divorce and that's it. I leave, you are free for whatever you want to do. The house is yours. I will come visit the kids next year. While in Germany I had a local GF that was found to have Cancer on her early 30's early in the relationship, I did not stopped the relationship during the year of chemo. Her situation and my situation were not excuse to ended it. It ended when I retired from the military and decided I didn't wanted to live in Germany rest of my life. She came to see me to Miami, we talked, illness was over a year in her past. I won't quit someone for a "Raw Deal". But that is how I was Raised.

Sorry for your loss..unfortunately it does happen...I was lucky to realize my marriage was not going to work out early..like in the first year..I'd like to find that person who could truly be a partner....best friend...lover...and do or die type of relationship...

From personal exoerience i know that having a wife with a chronic illness is very . I imagine a wife having a husband with a chronic illness is much the same. I married my wife because I love her, neither of us are vaguely religious and our vows to each other were and are all to do with our mutual love and the commitment to trust each other throughout our time together.
We have had some tough times and whenever I have needed her she has stood beside me and supported and trusted my choices no matter how they impacted her or our family life. The least that i can do is return that love and loyalty.

The excuse that my husband of 17 years used for cheating for a year and deciding to leave me for the other woman (but only after getting caught) was, "It's so f_cking hard to be married to a wife with a chronic illness!"

It's more common than ...etc. 'Until death do us part" can be a mighty long time. If both parties happen to be mature enough to go separated ways without any harm then that's a big victory for both. Life goes on...... Now, as of why they get to that point, that could be a long list of reasons, which is not the purpose of my comment

Sometimes long-term marriage works because the rocks in one person's head fits the holes in the other. That was my experience anyway. It took a lot of soul searching for me to understand and realize we nurtured each other's negative characteristics. When a marriage ends, for one reason or another, it's a real chance for growth.

I have difficulty understanding this. My wife and I have been together for 34 years, and I don't see anything changing about this situation until one of us passes away. We have had some difficult times, and don't always agree, but I would never abandon her due to illness, and I know she would never do that to me. I would question their commitment after leaving such a long term relationship.

My wife moved out after 35 years, shocked at first but now two years later life is good.

I’m sorry. It’s hard to understand changed feelings from a partner; definitely a grief process to work through.
I’ve been married three times.
First one cheated after 4 years: I would much rather he ended it -before- finding someone else. Painful either way, I guess, but still would rather have truth.
Second, we grew apart in widely separated directions: ending it was a mercy for us both. (14 years; first 10 were good).
Third ex became abusive verbally/emotionally; withheld affection/sex, silent treatment, gaslighting...his covert narcissm went full-blown. I left against his protest(which was more controlling: why was I giving up? What about my vows, I promised him life? My answer to that was: HE was unwilling to even admit he was hurting me, much less change it-5/6 years was enough for me. I promised to be a partner & meant my vows when I made them, but I did NOT sign up for a lifetime of abuse.). 10 years total. Should have left after 5.
I’m chronically ill too, and on disability. I left him, taking my personal belongings and not much else(didn’t HAVE anything else!), and moved across the state, where I knew nobody.
That was 4 years ago. I’m at peace, happy. It’s better to be alone, than to be unhappy with someone.
Just my experience.

I don't get this . I have been married 34 years. Makes no sense to me.

He's being honest with you. That's a good thing.

I reckon you haven't lost anything worth having. Move on and live your life.

I've a brother-in-law who did this. His ex-wife could no longer do the things he enjoyed... skiing, scuba diving, etc. So.... he dumped her for a younger, "healthy" woman. I think it's common.