I got raised in a harsh, punitive Protestant environment. I know many people who had it worse than me - folks raised in JW's, Southern Baptist, Mormon, Scientology, etc. But even so, it was bad. It messed up my mind pretty bad for long into my adult years. I am thankful I broke out of it and live in an environment where it is okay to be an out atheist.
All fundamentalist and apocalyptic religions tend to mess with people. I am glad you are here and shared your story.
Recovery is like peeling an onion. It is one layer at a time, even after years of being free. Keep up the good work!
Yes, it is a lifelong struggle. Lots of folks here struggle with recovering from harsh religion. You have maybe gone through a few things, too.