I need to rant.
Crps comes with debilitating brain fog. I'm talking Alzheimer's level forgetfulness. Unfortunately my mother can't seem to comprehend this, and is constantly berating me and insulting me and talking down to me. Today I forgot to start the dishwasher because SOMEONE kept interrupting me with talking. So she hovers behind me and NASTILY snaps step by step instructions like I'm some brain dead toddler (I am, but fucks sake I'm also a human being)
I retreat to my basement to cry and resent. Finally I find literature on how much worse CRPS is cognitively and politely say "I need support not demeaning."
"fine I guess we just won't expect anything from you at all ever since you can't even do the simplest task. You really are just turning into an invalid."
My mother, president of Pettyland, Passive Aggressive capital of the world, ladies and gentlemen.
Well guess what, that's MY hometown. "Okay so instead of talking it out like adults we are just gonna be passive aggressive to eachother until we die, hateful and resenting. Got it."
Oh and now I'm "giving up and letting my LABEL become my life how sad I am and how pathetic my life is going to beeee"
Because asking for some fucking human decency is giving up on life. Right.
Fuck this.
"You seem to not accept that I AM NOT GOING TO GET BETTER. I AM GOING TO CONTINUE GETTING WORSE UNTIL I FUCKING DIE. MAYBE YOU COULD BE A LITTLE MORE COMPASSIONATE OR EMPATHETIC TO THE FACT THAT YOU TREATING ME LIKE YOUR UNWANTED TODDLER WHO MANAGED TO SURVIVE AN ABORTION SO YOU HAD TO FUCKING KEEP IT IS GOING TO MAKE MY DEATH COME A LOT SOONER THAN IF YOU JUST TREATED ME LIKE A GOD DAMN HUMAN BEING"
so....now I need antidepressants because THAT will fix everything. ?
Nevermind that she is NEARLY as forgetful as me.
Maybe I should talk to her like she does to me whenever she forgets stuff.
2
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Erm yup - I get CRS pretty badly with Fibro fog - or pain fog or whatever it is. So I do know what that is like.
What was I doing? Why am I holding this in my hand right now? Why did I set that timer - it was so I wouldn't burn the house down - That's why!
Thankfully no one talks that way to me.
Maybe you should all consider family therapy. I imagine your Mom is feeling pretty awful and not accepting this change well or at all in fact? But yes this sounds miserable for you. And that can't go on forever. Because that's just too stressful.
RavenCT
Level 9
Jan 9, 2019
1
To be fair she's recovering from oral surgery (too bad she can still use that mouth for sassing) and in her own massive pain. I'd wager that she's taking that out on me making it worse than normal. But my entire body is in agony like I just got hit by a steamroller. My muscles are so sore especially in my abs and shoulders because I've been having serious coughing fits. I'm struggling a lot because I'm basically terminal. I hurt so bad.
I can't imagine it's easy for her, either, having a child that is an adult with the memory of a can of spam. I know I'm frustrated as hell about it.
I've been really getting upset over my mental abilities becoming shit, and frankly being insulted doesnt make me remember any better.
I tried offering solutions. "Ask me to do ONE THING at a time, and don't talk to me or distract me. Make sure to remind me about stuff."
Oh that reminds me it's time to switch the laundry 3 hours ago....
Ugh.
Side note I had to Google CRS and kept getting 'catholic recovery service' which made me giggle. I did find the meaning you meant lol.
/did I put soap in the laundry?????? O.O
@LadyAlyxandrea I remembered an hour after checking my blood glucose that it was low an hour ago. 
I was laughing - but I really wasn't. And I bet your memory will improve when you get over the pain of the travel and the testing. Those two things combined are a wicked whammy.
Can't Remember Stuff - isn't just an old person thing. I've had that since they figured out I had Fibro and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Well before THEY figured it out. lol
When my pain levels are better? I have it less. So they are connected. It rained and snowed today - so it was not a good day. - Plus a bit of stress? Poof! No memory.
Hang in there. Grab a four footed friend. I find that helps.
@RavenCT I tried. Then remembered my cat is an antisocial jerk face who scratches me when I try to love on her.
Ruuuuude.
Oh and now mom posts on Facebook that she's been crying for 30 minutes "could be the pain in my face or the fight with my daughter idk"
I'm pretty sure like the last two hours and that are manipulative emotional abuse.
Shes lucky I love her more than life itself because some days....some days...
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