I am just so pissed off with this war on opioids. It drives me nuts. My pain doctor is now being squeezed into getting me off pain meds, and with very little alternative aid. It is not because he wants to either. It's because I'm 27 and have no concrete evidence to present saying I am in pain (I have no visible spondelosis and my arthritis isn't prominent enough) so until I see a geneticist and get confirmed with EDS and maybe a neurologist super specialist diagnosis of a nerve disorder, I am fucked. I'm still getting by because he can still claim I'm post op, but my time using that as an excuse is ticking down quickly. We are working on getting me a spinal stimulator implant, but the stupid psych that did my evaluation said I was too depressed and had too much anxiety (he spent 15 minutes with me and only half paid attention. The rest was him sighing heavily about how he wishes he hadn't gone into medical psychology)
Ugh it's so irritating because I know this is just some ridiculous distraction for trump and his sycophants to look like heroes and take down certain oppositional people but yet everyone believes this nonsense even though it's the exact same tactic Nixon used and whose administration ADMITTED to using and they're killing me. They're killing me and my mom and my poor dad who desperately needs pain meds too but is too afraid to see a specialist because then we would all just be seen as a family of drug addicts.
And the worst part is working in a hospital and talking to people who perpetuate this by being drug abusers. They anger me so much because they're the reason I'm getting listed. Today I had a woman call demanding more meds for her meth burn because it hurt. Then another woman called "I just had surgery and I'm already out of my meds I need more." No you don't you need to stop fucking me over because YOU are an addict.
I'm very angry at addicts. I shouldn't be. I know what it's like and I know how hard it is. But I can't help but feel this deep bitter resentment towards them now because they are hindering my ability to function. It's fucked up.
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5 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I understand and totally agree, although I try and use pain meds as sparingly as possible. I was surprised and very relieved to have found that TalwinNx is still a schedule 3, was NOT reclassified when hydrocodone was! I find it much more effective(but fairly expensive)
dawilderone
Level 3
Aug 27, 2018
0
I also have EDS which means Im in PAIN every single day to varying degrees. I have lots of osteo and degenerative discs, bone spurs, impingements ect. Neck, knees and lumbar. I truly thought having a regular script for opiods was THE answer. I fought long and hard for them. They told me they you will need MORE. You will build a tolerance. They will stop working. They were right. I started at 2 a day. Went up to 4. Had the option of 6. This was over the course of approx two years. I am NOW tapering myself off because I just feel sicker and sicker. My emotions are all over the place. Im tapering slowly and its hell. I also have MMJ and although it helps GREATLY with ANXIETY and SLEEP it really does nothing for my pain. I FEEL TRAPPED. I am one year post op TKR on right. I need left done now and hernia and galbladder need to come out now but Im literally paralyzed with fear ...of what my future holds...because Im literally falling apart joint by joint. I can't seem to do ANYTHING but survive right now. My anxiety has skyrocketed and NOW depression ( the likes of which Ive never EVER felt) is setting in. I am looking into something called Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) . It has many uses and people have had succes with it for chronic pain.There are several FB groups regarding...even and EDS/ LDN group! Im truly starting to HATE PHARMA but LDN seems to be a very lesser evil....just an FYI. I was also wondering about your addict comment? Your anger..and how you said you know what its like and how hard it is? May I ask specifics?
jjenakabc
Level 3
Apr 13, 2018
2
Addiction is a medical problem. I have worked with many people who didn't want to be addicts. They just wanted to feel good or forget their problems for a little bit. That desperation to want some shred of good feeling...willing to do anything....I understand it. I personally hate medicine. Like, a lot. I don't like the way I feel on medicine. Fake, like I'm made of rubber. I don't like how medicine has side effects which need to be treated with more medicine. Yet I use it because I'd rather feel weird than in so much agony I wish for death. It's no different, except theirs might be emotional or mental pain. I know if someone walked up to me and said "cocaine will make your pain go away" sure as hell I'd try it, except that I know what cocaine does. But then, oxycodone is just legal heroin so why should I judge?
I have never looked at pain killers as a solution. I've never wanted pain killers until the end, and even then I use the bottom minimum that I can to keep functioning. I don't stop seeking other treatment. I use them to keep functioning so that I can find something else that works or fixes me. I use them because marijuana is illegal and working in a hospital I could lose my job and never get hired by another medical office again. I use pain killers to keep working so I can keep trying new things. They are my gateway drug to hope. To keep searching for answers and solutions.
That's the difference. I don't want the drugs. I don't want to keep taking them. I want to find better answers. I'm currently fighting to get a spinal stimulator implant to short out my brains ability to process pain. Insurance is cruel though.
Many of my friends whose chronic pain was being successfully managed by responsible opiate therapy are being forced off for the same reason as you. Pleas that they'll lose their ability to hold down a job are being met with deaf ears. One person is even battling cancer on top of his regular chronic pain and is still being told no. He and several of the others got fed up with this and decided to switch over to managing their pain with kratom which is, for now anyway, legal and doesn't require a prescription.
It began with one person on my chronic pain support group thoroughly investigating how to manage one's pain with kratom and sharing her knowledge with the others. Anyway, it's something to be considered. As is medical marijuana ... if you live somewhere where that's an option.
vita
Level 7
Apr 9, 2018
1
If they drag me off of it with no viable substitute I will have no choice but to move to a location I can access it. Heck, if I had the money I'd have already done so. However if they force me on disability at least some housing options open up specifically for disabled individuals
vita:
You wouldn't have to move to try kratom. Though don't try it while still doing opiate therapy as it MIGHT show up on your UA and get you fired.
I'm very glad I live in a state with Medical Marijuana... Until and unless that a-hole Sessions f-s us over.
TaraMarshall
Level 7
Mar 28, 2018
0
Unfortunately my state has even decided CBD oil is illegal despite overwhelming votes at the ballots our stupid attorney general ignores the votes, and refuses to stop.
@LadyAlyxandrea, damn, I practically live on CBD Extract. I go through a bottle a month.
@TaraMarshall yeah. They take away opioids and marijuana and soon after that they'll take away the lives of chronic pain patients
@LadyAlyxandrea, if they don't do it directly, they certainly guarantee many of us suicide. I want to give these politicians a good set of broken bones, so maybe they can get some idea how we feel every day. Opioids make me as disabled as the pain, I'm just on CBD right now because I'm saving Medical Marijuana for when things get worse.
@TaraMarshall I take the lowest amount of opioids I can, just enough to function, but honestly I hate medicine so I'd rather not take it but I NEED to function. You take me off and I can't work I can't clean I can't function at all. The alternative procedures left me worst than I started with. It's awful.
@LadyAlyxandrea, I understand, but opioids make me feel dizzy and nauseated, among other problems. They do get rid of the pain, but the side effects, for me, are worse than the pain most of the time. I know how to deal with pain.
@TaraMarshall at my low dose I don't have side effects, but on the really bad days when I need more they knock me out
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