The most unimaginable thing happened to my family. On the evening of August 1st, Wednesday, someone took our Helix from our yard. He had never ever wandered from our property before, and becuz of his broken leg as a kitten, he couldn't jump fences. When I couldn't find him, I just knew in my gut that a human was involved.

We took a day to look around our neighborhood, and contact all the shelters and vets in the area. On Friday I decided to post to various pages on facebook. In retrospect, I should've offered a reward, with no questions asked. Instead, I specifically stated that we felt like someone took him purposely, and please just return him. I will never forgive myself for that mistake.

We found him on Saturday. Someone decided to just dump him north of town, instead of bringing him back, and he was killed by a car. Over 4 miles from home. He'd only been dead for a very short period of time. He was very much alive until that morning. The police said this sort of thing happens often.

The grief that I have felt this past week has been almost unmanageable. There's even been moments when I've wished I could believe in some sort of god. Maybe it would make my gut wrenching guilt and profound sadness a little more tolerable? Maybe I wouldn't feel so much hatred for the person who caused this? Maybe if I had raised my kids with a belief, it would've been easier to explain to them why and how this happened? My 14 yr old son picked our baby and paid for him and his care with his own money. I will never get over the sound of his sorrow.

It has nearly broken me.

Hug your kitties. And hold close the things that you love.