Agnostic.com
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Ever stopped at a traffic light?

You're a socialist. Traffic lights serve a common purpose without reference to a users' status or wealth.

Ever pulled over for an ambulance?

You're a socialist. You've acknowledged that whenever another human is in mortal danger, regardless of who they might be, what colour their skin, what religion they pursue, how much money they may or may not owe you, you will do your absolute level best not to interfere with or hamper any support that may come their way.

Ever called the Fire Service?

You're a socialist. You didn't pay for the incident. That was absorbed by the rest of us who pay taxes to maintain the Fire Service so that you don't get landed with an enormous bill as well as a tragedy.

Ever been a member of an automobile rescue association?

You're a socialist. Every time you see one of your association's vans providing roadside assistance you know that you're paying towards that motorist's spares and repairs. You might even be paying for his free ride home!

Ever used or stopped your vehicle for a pedestrian cross-walk?

You're a socialist. You don't know anything about the other party except that you've both agreed to and abide by a set of rules which apply regardless of either party's income bracket, political beliefs, or inheritance.

Ever bought an insurance policy?

You're a socialist. You pay towards a common central fund which agrees to pay out to you or any other contributors to that fund in the event of disaster or mishap coming your way. All contributors bear the costs of individual contributor's bad luck.

Ever called a cop?

You're a socialist. Rather than rely on your own courage, personal strength and/or weapons proficiency, sleuthing capabilities, or capacity for staying up all night to keep an eye on things, you pay into a central fund which covers the cost of these services, even if you never use them!

Ever relied on your nation's armed forces?

You're a socialist. Instead of fighting your own wars you buy into a scheme which allows others to process wars on your behalf (this may or may not be a good thing).

Ever played in a park?

You're a socialist. You're utilising geographical space which has been declared "common" without having specifically paid for access. You're cavorting on ground that has been deprived of speculative potential.

Ever used a paved road?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

DeaconMartin 4 Mar 27
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4 comments

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1

And to think those reds used to be under the beds - now they're everywhere!

brentan Level 8 Mar 27, 2020
3

I try to point this out every time the subject comes up.

gearl Level 8 Mar 27, 2020
2

I'm not ashamed of myself...

1
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