I totally agree with you! It seemed to me to be like a clique also. If you didn't conform, you were not a member of the clique. There would be events and one let me know. I worked to support myself and my children and I didn't always know what was going on at . It was my understanding that I would have visiting teachers and home teachers who came around once a month to update me on events. Never happened! I had visiting teachers all right, but most of the time they never communicated with me, to be fair, some did, for awhile, but then one two visits, I would never hear them again. They looked down on me, I think, because I was a working mother, moms were supposed to stay at home they told me. We had bills and kids and it took my and me working to take care of things.

Yes! Its so confusing! I don't like to criticize, but so many of them are just fake. There are a few who are sincere and have good hearts, but they are blind! I didn't like being told what I could and could not read or watch. And they won't discuss anything, reasonably. All I got was "pray about it" well that didn't work, I only got more confused. So they said I wasn't "living the gospel" and when I started "living the gospel" (whatever that means) answers would come. So much for that!

@Car-ul Yeah, the assumption that if you don't believe in the church then you must be sinning is frustrating. And of course when you define things like drinking coffee or wearing short shorts as sins, it's real easy to make your point.

To make things even more confusing, they have impossible standards that they constantly berate themselves for not living up to, like the law of consecration. If anyone actually tries to live those things, they are considered mentally unstable (and honestly they probably are) and yet they glorify "prophets" in the past for living those things. So in order to be Mormon you have to live in this state of feeling like you never measure up. At the same time, you also live in a state of believing you measure up better than anyone else outside the church. It's maddening.

@Meili It seemed like a clique, if you didn't conform, you weren't a member of the clique.

@Car-ul Very true.

I'm a Theist, I believe in God but maybe not the way some others do and certainly not the way the LDS do. I think people put too much on God and expect too much. To me, God is love. That's it.

@Car-ul I consider myself an agnostic theist. I'm certain there's something but I don't know what. It could just be waves of energy for all I know.

What did they ex you for? (If you don't mind sharing.)

@Meili After many letters following me around wherever we moved to, & not responding to any of them, then the phone calls to go to this, that, or the other, & telling every one who called I was not interested.
Not going to Sunday school, not going to church, not going to relief society meetings, not going to mutual.......all of it, but the bishop in the district we moved to was batshit crazy. He & an minion showed up at our front door & after I told him to his face I was not interested, & slammed the door in his face, he proceeded to bash on the door, the front window, & basically throw a tantrum. My husband threatened to call the police if he did not get off our property.
I got a letter shortly after to show up to a kangaroo court, with witnesses, to state why I should retain my membership......needless to say, I didn't show. After that I got notice of my excommunication.

@Lilac-Jade Wow. Crazy. They usually don't ex people just for not attending so I was wondering.

My ex-husband actually tried to get me exed (while we were still married) but the bishop wouldn't do it. I was fortunately blessed with really nice bishops for the most part. The few people who reached out to me were very timid and never tried very hard to get me back. I missed all the excitement, lol.

@Meili Well I'm well away from it, that's for sure.

@Lilac-Jade Big relief, I'm sure.