Kill me now. I went to visit relatives who live outside of Jacksonville and I saw a TV commercial for some guy calling himself "Doc Tony." He looks like he sells chopper motorcycles to middle-aged divorced men. I realized that his commercial gave no clue what kind of "doc" he is though I suspected there might be state regulations which prevent him from being addressed as "doctor."
What REALLY bothered me about the commercial was how this guy would wave his hand, then point. Wave his hand, then point. Wave his hand, then point. Wave his hand, then point. I wanted to yell at the television, GODDAMMIT MAN, LEARN TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR FUCKING HAND! And throw away that fucking trashy hat.
Then I committed a critical error. I looked him up on the Internet. I was curious what kind of "doc" he supposedly is. Now thanks to the marketing miracle-slash-scourge that is Internet Retargeting, I CANNOT ESCAPE DOC TONY. He has become my tormenter. He and his sometimes waving-sometimes pointing hand are lurking at the bottom of EVERY INTERNET PAGE I visit. Purging my data has not ended his reign of terror. There is seemingly no exit from this Sartrean hell. I seek refuge here in the ad-free pages of Agnostic.
BTW if you're over 50 and you've fallen but you can get up, my new "80s Boomers" Group. I could use some friends.
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Ormonddude
Level 4
Jan 10, 2019
0
Did that days ago.
I am sorry for your affliction. But from here it is pretty funny.
EyesThatSmile
Level 8
Jan 7, 2019
0
HE is literally a new breed of ambulance chasing chiropractors. Living in JAX I see that shit daily. He prays on the lower class and disinfranchised. He even will send a vehicle to pick you up so he can rip off insurance co.s on your behalf.
Lop-Eared-Mule
Level 7
Jan 6, 2019
0
Through that ill-fated online research, I saw that he was a chiropractor and uses the slogan "The doc you can trust." I was immediately filled with hatred that burned like a thousand suns.
When I was a kid, there was a siding company in Jacksonville that had commercials where the guy would say "Leave me come over to your house..." and then list off weird things that his siding would protect your house from including peanut butter and chickens. I was in Daytona so I guess he'd leave over all the way down there.
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