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Posting this here, too. For all who are struggling in places where we are not accepted:
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I'm VERY lucky..my LGBTQ characteristics are invisible..I'm a partial transmale, living as an androgynous nonbinary woman.
I'm also demisexual, which means I have zero sexual attraction for any gender or person without being close to that person for well over a year. Therefore, nobody can observe my attraction to any gender.
birdingnut
Level 8
June 8, 2018
0
@BookDeath I'm currently living in Albuquerque, NM, recovering from cancer, and people here are so GOP Christian that twice, volunteer Cancer Society drivers who'd been driving me to the hospital for appointments, suddenly stopped volunteering to drive me after I said something supportive about the LGBTQ community.
@BookDeath I don't even try to argue with the local Trumpites, just stick to innocuous subjects. But you're right..I'm escaping direct persecution, and possible hate crime death, by seeming to appear "normal," due to today's women adopting men's clothing styles.
I'm pretty and petite, so I get an easy pass as a female, despite my extreme male behavior.
For a while I was planning to start taking testosterone and at least partially transition, just to stop the ongoing panic attacks, depression, and disphoria confusion due to having an aggressive male side. Luckily, when I took a local Thai muscle relaxer herb, made from a common evergreen vine called derris scandens (capsules are sold on amazon) for a pulled back muscle, for some reason, the derris scandens balanced out my hormones so that I suddenly was content to allow my male and female sides to coexist in peace.
All my life, I'd have to suppress rage whenever someone used a female pronoun or even my female name. I didn't know why, and went blundering on with my life, pathetically trying to copy the cis female friends and relatives around me; impossible, since I was missing basic female behavior brain chips..
After taking derris scandens, and later on, cannabis oil (I take droppers of the oil to kill cancer cells), my male side is suppressed enough that I am contented to consider myself nonbinary and to live and dress as an androgynous female.
@BookDeath It's weird for cis people to understand, but I had no way to know I was different from the others around me. I saw my peers lusting, having casual hook ups, so when I was in elementary school I copied my boy-crazy girlfriends and got "crushes" on boys, but really admired their athletic skills, which I wanted also. I didn't put the pieces together and realize I was a demisexual until 2014, when I first realized I was also a partial transmale. Again, I just assumed ALL women were faking it, and were like me.