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I’m missing someone so badly right now that doesn’t love me back. I did all the things I’m supposed to and removed him from all social media and deleted all his pictures.

I stupidly Googled him today and seeing his picture was like a punch in the stomach.

I’m trying to focus on the negative things about when we were together but all I can think about are the good. 💔

Edit: if you’re going to criticize me, please don’t reply. I’m beating myself up enough I don’t need others doing it too

Marcie1974 8 Aug 20
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29 comments

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6

You’re grieving the loss of what might have been, so your pain is understandable. Give yourself time and love. I have found it helpful to focus on what helped me in the past, when I have been overwhelmed with emotion. Maybe that will help you, too.

UUNJ Level 8 Aug 20, 2019

Thank you for your kindness and understanding

5

I've experienced that. I've also experienced breaking a substance addiction, and the two experiences are almost the same. JUST KEEP BREATHING. Time will make it better. There's no shortcut. Just keep breathing and put one foot in front of the other. You will survive.

BitFlipper Level 8 Aug 20, 2019
4

So there myself in my own way..
I think your doing the best you can do by removing what you can of them from your life.. i think the rest is just time.. it will get easier!

hippydog Level 8 Aug 20, 2019

Thank you

4

Honey don't beat yourself up. You are a attractive woman just make sure your asshole radar is working and find someone else who isn't one. I personally think you will find that good guy we are out here hoping we find someone too. Just look for us and concentrate on the nice guys you won't fix the problem ones so don't give up.

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 20, 2019

If I lived near you would be glad to get to know you and not be a asshole

4

That is the most difficult thing, letting go and moving on. You slipped and googled him. It happens. Is this a recent relationship? No need to beat yourself up and no one here should ever do that! Try and do something nice for yourself, and feel your feelings. It is ok to be sad, to miss the good parts of your relationship with him. Let yourself do that but don't let it stop you from living your life. Give yourself a day or two to mourn again and then get back to living. You may slip again, so mourn again and then keep going. If we lived closer I would take you out for a drink!

GreatNani Level 8 Aug 20, 2019
4

I have a man that I long for... the last time I sobbed thinning about him was 3-4 weeks ago. I check out his FB from time to time. Then I start thinking the "what ifs.."

You're not alone.

Cabsmom Level 8 Aug 20, 2019
4

It takes time to get over someone you loved... Don't be so hard on yourself.. You're allowed to slip up every now and then.. We all are.. 💔

4

Hang in there. It is okay to have weakness, but remember who you are and what you deserve. I hope you just breathe and remember we are women. We feel deeply. It just doesn't go away sometimes. Hugs to you.

Jama765 Level 7 Aug 20, 2019
3

I have been on both sides of the coin. I have loved someone who didn’t love me back and I have been loved but not loved them back. From my experience you can never, ever turn love on like a switch. You can’t make someone else love you. It is there. Or it is not. If it is not there, get the hell out of there!! The person who doesn’t love you (even with no bad intentions) will ALWAYS use you because they have no emotional investment.

3

When you think of the good things you are playing the "What If" game with yourself. It will drive you crazy. Remember it didn't work out for a reason.

dare2dream Level 7 Aug 20, 2019
3

Be strong, you can do this.

3

Sending you love and warm healing hugs

RoyMillar Level 9 Aug 20, 2019

Thank you

3

time and distance heal wounds......don't look back

I’m trying but obviously have moments of weakness

@LetzGetReal thank you

2

The one I've had the hardest time forgetting gave me some great advice. He said imagine yourself with that person five years from now, then ask yourself if that would make you truly happy. That made it very easy to focus on the negative.

That obviously does not take away all the want but it helps put it in perspective.

Lorajay Level 9 Aug 20, 2019
2

Time and Distance is the only way . I once moved 4 States away to get away from a supreme aggravation .

GEGR Level 7 Aug 20, 2019
2

Hang in there and accept things just the way they are.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Aug 20, 2019
2

I've been there. It takes time to get emotional distance. Meanwhile, be very kind with yourself, even if and especially when you're triggered all over again. Eventually, you'll get to a point where it doesn't hurt, or at least not so much.

bleurowz Level 8 Aug 20, 2019

Thank you

2

I've been in and out of many relationships.

Ken Keyes had the best advice; I recommend you get one of his many books on relationships.

In a nutshell, he said..."hold on tightly - but let go lightly."

"in terminating a relationship you are wise to move from love, through hate - to indifference - ASAP."

Avoid looking up things about the ex - or you're just renewing your "love-hate" stage.

Easier said, then done, of course. Be patient with yourself. Things will get better...and you know this.

Robecology Level 9 Aug 20, 2019
2

Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm having a bad day too, I can relate. No criticism here, just warm fuzziness!

I’m sorry you’re having a bad day too, sending warm fuzzies back at you

2

I am not criticizing you. But you women folks are just too sentimental. I am sure your guy is having a good time in his world. Just collect yourself and enjoy life. You can get better if you believe you deserve better.

St-Sinner Level 9 Aug 20, 2019
2

Had that feeling before, but guess what.. Back together and with better understanding.

I envy you, enjoy it

1

Sorry to hear you’re broken hearted. For give yourself, mistakes were/are made. Take care of you, remember to love yourself - you are enough. Be thankful you are NOT with someone who doesn’t have the same feelings as you do. I’ve been there and know that heartbreak. Find something - anything to distract/entertain you. This could do two things: 1) you don’t think about him and 2) maybe meet someone new. I did longsword, gourds, fused glass, wood working, volunteering. It has been years, but I can be around her without pain.

CS60 Level 7 Oct 4, 2019

Thank you. I’m actually doing much better. Really realizing that despite his “good guy” persona and acting like he was so honorable....he knew better and should have stopped it right when I said I have feelings for him. He was using me to feed his ego. That was tough to realize because I had him on such a pedestal. But I’m finally feeling like I can let him go

@Marcie1974 Some people can be such chameleons. You are better off without him. Grieve, let go, and move on. It may take awhile, no worries.
Pedestals are for athletes and gods. Humans will almost always prove less than that.

1

I know exactly how you feel. I met a woman about 5 months ago and I honestly thought I had found what I’ve been looking for all these years. Today would be exactly 5 months actually. We got along wonderfully and I saw no “red flags” in regards to her personality or behavior like all the other relationships I’ve had in the past. Including one failed marriage. That all ended suddenly about two weeks ago. She started becoming distant and then finally ended it claiming depression as the reason. It really destroyed me. So much in fact, that I bought a plane ticket and left home for almost a month. I’m still out of town at the moment, and really have no desire to go back because I feel there’s nothing for me anymore. I’m still very much in a dark place. I don’t think I’ve laughed at anything in weeks even though I’m around my best friend of 22 years.

I won’t bother you with any more details of what I’m dealing with, but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. It’s a universal pain that seems like only the ones that love too much have to endure. Over and over and over...

Davebag Level 5 Sep 20, 2019

I’m sorry to hear you’re in so much pain.

It’s interesting you commented today, I actually had a weak moment last night and sent him a message. I kind of wish he’d block me because then I wouldn’t have the temptation to reach out to him

@Marcie1974 My ex still sends me text messages. I don’t know why. I got some this morning actually. I don’t have the heart to block her, because I’m still holding on to hope that she will maybe tell me she’s sorry for pushing me away.

@Davebag I don’t know why we torture ourselves. He messaged me back this afternoon. I know talking to him is just going to lead to more heartbreak but I can’t seem to let him go

@Marcie1974 I wish I knew. For me, the idea of spending the rest of my life alone is horribly frightening. I have no children. My family is very limited to only a handful of respectable people. Two friends, in which I never see (unless I fly 700 miles) and zero social life back home. Finding someone I get along with is extremely difficult where I live.

1

Pretty sure there are plenty of us in the same boat. Not entirely mine but your needs get to be wants and your wants get to be thoughts. Then your thoughts get to be memories.

1

Hey, I like you, you're good people, his loss. Emotional hurts are like physical hurts, the pain can help if it keeps you from injuring yourself again and if you pick at it it takes longer to heal. (not that I'd ever follow this advice, so if you're smart you probably shouldn't listen to me)

Buttercup Level 8 Aug 20, 2019

It’s always easier to give advice when you’re on the outside....why is it so hard to see when you’re on the inside?

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