Although I did AA/Na for two years and Alanon for 11 I can honestly say that 12 step groups are insidious in that it is a well crafted conversion platform...

It didn't.

I was unable to find a sponsor who would work with someone who is openly atheist. They tended to either flat refuse to work with me or insist that I required a higher power before moving forward. I always thought this to be a cliche, but one actually expected me to use G.O.D. (Group Of Drunks) as a higher power. Oh yeah, that'll work for me. NOT!!

So I never worked the steps, and I'm okay with that. For me, the only step that matters is the first one -- except that I am NOT powerless over alcohol. When I surrender to it, then yes, my life becomes unmanageable. Solution? Don't surrender to it.

I do not attend AA or any other sorts of meetings any longer. For about the first year of sobriety, the meetings helped because it was a forum where I could interact with others who understood the challenges. After that first year, though, I came to the realization that the only time I really thought about alcohol any more was when I went to an AA meeting. So going to meetings and working the steps both fell into the same category, that category being:

Things that do nothing more for me than to remind me of a period of my life that I desperately wish to leave in the past.

I don't know how one can pay attention to where one is headed if one keeps looking behind. Lessons learned, now lets move on. If I wallow in it I fear I will go back to it, and that is the ABSOLUTE LAST thing I want.

Everyone's journey is different. For me, the path followed by so many others was not the path for me. I believe I have found a path that works for me. I sincerely hope that you find one that works for you..

Good question.... Well I have done most of steps. I didn't really have issues with step 4 which a lot of people seem to hung up on. Otherwise, I have very mixed feelings and opinions about the rest of the 12 step program. I did not particularly enjoy step 3 with being made to get on my knees and pray. Very friggin awkward. I just can not accept any of the steps that involve god or a higher power. I've been deprogramming out of AA, and have been looking for alternatives like SMART recovery. This is especially after reading the Orange Papers, which confirmed to me the strange feelings in AA for quite some time now.
I just feel AA or NA are very flawed programs.