Not sure what having connections with other human beings has to do with codependency. Man is a social animal, and human connections are vital to emotional and mental health. The alternative is isolation. Having good people in one's life is hardly the same as being codependent.

@Piratefish the presentation of the quote as stated sounds like you're giving up one form of addiction to another. Transference of attention is not a handled issue to me. The opposite of addiction would be balance. I know plenty of people who are sober, and use groups as there only way to coup. With out it they would fall apart. That's not living either. Sober but white knuckle living ? Fuck that! Learn to be at peace with yourself, and you will learn to be at peace with the world.

It could perhaps have been stated better but he is right. There's been some research and programs aimed at reintegration of addicts into society. Having a social network, work they find rewarding and enjoyable, those sorts of things. It has had a much better success rate than 12 step programs thus far.
We ARE social animals. We crave human connections and meaning in our lives. The theory is that addicts lack those things and when they have those needs met, battling their addictions becomes more manageable.

@Fibonacci1618 A hallmark of addiction is selfishness or self-centeredness. "My pain is special. No one else can understand my pain. No one else has suffered like me." Many people have gone through the same pain, many people can understand and empathize and many others can help us find a path to better emotional health. I'm not substituting one addiction for another. I'm accepting the reality of human connection. I'm accepting the reality humans are social animals. This acceptance has allowed me much more emotional health and joy.

@kmdskit3 And I respect that but I still feel that most Addicts don't know how to love themselves. So they love for that externally. Either from "God" or a community which in essence, becomes their "higher power" . I just don't think that's healthy. But I do believe that living a balanced life outside of addiction is beautiful and definitely worth acknowledgement. But to believe that there is a cookie cut way to recovery is just absolutely wrong. Addictive behavoir developes both physiologically and psychologically very differently. Each person got to there negative behavioral patterns differently and have done some varying damage to their brains and hormones. So to think that without neurological adjustments aka your socialization theory, changes wouldn't occur. Adding value to their lives aka friends, community, family, adds to the sense of worth and WANT to maintain that new life. But to not have a hold on one's own thoughts, if you remove the meetings and the family and the friends, would that behavior return? Probably, but if you add the value internally, then regardless of externalities, that framework of self worth remains, as does the want for keeping their sobriety.

@Fibonacci1618

I am, and always have been responsible for my own sobriety. However, I was powerless to stop on my own. The fellowship was a crucial part of my first couple of years sober. Call it codependent if you wish, but it worked. Now, with 21 years sober, I can count all the meetings I go to in a year on one hand. However, a fair number of my closest friends are fellow recovering alcoholics who I have known since coming to AA in 1997. They don't keep me sober, but they help to keep me centered. And working with others is still vital to my "spiritual maintenance". Self was my biggest problem, getting out of self has been the solution. Codependent? If you say so, I guess.

@Fibonacci1618 I do agree that their are many ways to emotional health. I do get a lot out of my 12-step program, I redo much of it to fit my atheism, but I'm not arrogant enough to believe that is the only path. I should have linked what I was saying about human connection with a higher power because that is my substitution. I remind myself that alone I have no real power. I have power only when I surrender my imagined self importance to reality: the reality that when I realize my connection to others and other groups is when I am truly powerful. These may include family, friends, communities of like-minded folks, my country, my species and even our planet. When I connect myself to these other groups is how I become powerful. This is also my humility. My higher power substitution also removes the internal/external dichotomy which I also believe to be false. Our existence is a continual interplay of the external and internal. Seperating them makes no sense.

and even if that were true why not ? Many ways to live a life if you have any relationship at all with any other it could be called codependent - I think the main thing that matters and the only thing is that you get off the drug that is maiming your life. I wouldnt judge anybody.

@Piratefish I appreciate your experience. I do agree that people need help. Being there for someone in need is a great gift to give. I'll leave it at that. I'm sure we could rebuttal each other continuously. Be good to yourself.

@kmdskit3 Sounds a little esoteric. I agree that we are all connected, and that there is on a frequency level a "universal consciousness" but I don't agree for the need of humility or humbleness. I am not advocating for arrogance and agressiveness either. What I am saying is being true to one's self, regardless of social constructs or pleasantries. Accommodating to fit the norm is not okay with me. Yes, love each other, and share with each other but this constant need for tribe mentality makes not sense to me. But as a disclaimer, I am very introverted so, that may help you see my perspective as well.

Thank you! I'll add it to the pile of other interesting info I've come across on this site. ?☺

I agree. But to me if you don't have the realization that we aren't alone, that who we are is the past history of all our connections and the 'Individual' is a myth then our loneliness won't allow contentment and peace.

@kmdskit3 Loneliness is a state of mind, mostly experienced by "people who need people". I am an introvert and an individual who is very independent. I'm not often lonely, prefer to entertain myself, and don't really crave connections, so I don't feel your statement applies to me.

@exilesky It sounds like perhaps you prefer being alone more than I. However there are many 'lesser' ways to maintain human connection. Books, films, radio, and even social media websites like this one are also a means of human connection. Who all of us are right at this moment is the accumulation of everything that has happened before. We are our past; that's what I mean when I say the concept of 'Individual' is a myth. Our current self is always connected to all the interactions of our past.

IKR?

@kmdskit3 I was responding to the following: "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but human connection." Johann Hari

@Freeofcancer That's what I thought you were responding to.

@kmdskit3 I do not know what IKR means, sorry.

@Freeofcancer 'I Know, Right?' Had to have that explained to me a few months ago too. I'm old... ?