Okay, I know it's early, but I was arranging my files tonight and came across this so I thought I'd lay it on you while it was staring me in the face.

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This piece was originally written in November, 1958. My stepfather (Bill Olofson) and I worked on it as a filler piece for Capitol Records Music Views magazine, a house organ of Capitol Records of Hollywood. It was later reworded slightly to improve the meter and to fit Edd's speaking style a bit better. It was then recorded (1959) by Edd “Kookie” Byrnes on the Warner Brothers label. It carried the byline of Galaney-Olofson-Barker (Music-Lyric-Arranger/orchestra). This is it on YouTube:

It is a parody in hip talk (early 1950s beatnick style) of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas By Clement Clarke Moore.

A Cool Yule
by
Bill Olofson and J. Richard Jacobs

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the pad
Not a hip cat was swinging, and that's nowhere Dad.
The stove was hung up in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the fat man would soon make the scene.

The kids had all had it so they’d hit their sacks,
And me and the bride had begun to relax,
When there started a rumble that came on real frantic,
So I opened the window to figure the panic.

I saw a square short that was making fat tracks,
Being pulled by eight dogs who were wearing hat racks.
And a funny old geezer was flipping his lid,
As he told 'em to make it and, man, like they did.

I couldn't help digging the scene on the roof
As I stood there just waiting for chubby to goof.
They stood by the chimney in bunches and clusters,
Til tubby slid down, coming on like gangbusters.

His threads were the squarest and I had to chuckle,
In front, not in back, was his ivy league buckle.
The mop on his chin hid his buttondown collar
And with that red nose, man, he looked like a baller.

Like he was the squarest, the most absolute,
But face it, who cares when he left all that loot.
He laid the jazz on me and fled from the gig.
Wailing, “Have a cool yule and man, later, like dig.”