i wrote this a while ago. it is the beginning of another unfinished novel. if you're so inclined to share your opinion, i would like to hear any thoughts on chapter one....
[writinginarowhouse.com]
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@Lillyfield41 -- Read what was on the site. I think you're off to a good start with this one and I have some feeling about where this first content is leading. In that I could be wrong. Anyway, I think I would do some restructuring of the very first part dealing with the reportage by starting off with the reporter speaking and inject bits and pieces of the details of Mayim's descriptives (much of the info contained in your current first paragraph) to dispose of the feeling of info-dump and kick it off with an active running start. Like your pictures.
A little more restructuring a bit later for the same purpose would help. All in all, a good first impression with enough to make me want Chapter 2.
By the way, if you want to discuss details without overloading the thread, feel free to message me.
evidentialist
Level 8
Nov 26, 2018
1
thank you. I understand your notes. and thinking about where my head was when i first wrote this, i think i had just watched zero theorem and completely outlined this story. ( i do have the outline ) .... i guess i did info dump. i do want to get back to this story. the octopuses showed up (unexpectedly) on jupiter in another story of mine. (that story has been complete seven times. ha!) again... thank you so much for your time and words.
@Lillyfield41 -- Any time. Not much of a world if we don't help one another. Funny line about the octopuses.
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