@Sooz -- Forgive this old coot, but I come from a background where saying such things was and still should be considered a respectful greeting and nothing more.

Tell us about your writing and give the links where it can been seen and/or purchased.

@Evidentialist -- You're readily forgiven! What background is it that you're referring to? I once worked with a female writer who lives in the South and we had different ideas about what sorts of language were polite or (IMO) outdated and possibly even sexist or ageist or just not genuine. You may call me young lady if it feels gentlemanly to you, but I bet you wouldn't like me calling you "boy." By the way, my family doctor, whom I like very much due to his caring conscientiousness, always calls me young lady. He also calls my mom (88) young lady, and calls my dad (93) young man. I think they like it. I think it makes mincemeat (whatever that is) of the language. (Yes, I can be Scrooge-like at times, but it's nothing personal.).

You can check out my blog on PsychologyToday.com. It's called Creating in Flow. A number of posts on atheistic topics here and there. My bio there will lead you to my website (which is a shared one with my late husband -- who wasn't late when we put it up).

@Sooz -- Thank you, ma'am. I was born in Santa Monica, CA, but we moved to a small farm nestled in the foothills of the western slope of the Cascade Range in Oregon before I turned 1. So, what you have here is a farm boy who has waded through more snow than most folks can imagine. Up before dawn, educated his first 6 years in a one-room school house, who eventually case all that aside to become an applied physicist, naval architect, and nere do well -- but as we all know, you can take to boy out of the country, but somehow the country won't let go.

Perhaps “lady” and “gentleman” hearten back to a much more sexist era. But I would like to take a step even further back when those words referred to the noble side of the person and were uttered out of respect. Even now, if I walk into a room and I find women there, I would bow a little and briefly close my eyes (as I don’t use a hat) and I would say “Ladies?” (with that questioning inflection of my pronunciation) and mean it in a most respectful way. I often extend that courtesy to men. I learned it from my father and I feel proud to be able to be chivalrous in our modern times.

@Rodatheist I get what you're saying, though that way of thinking is somewhat alien to me. Bestowing that sort of ritualized respect to women "just because" does indeed seem old-fashioned to me. My rebellious streak, born out of the 60s and early 70s, and the feminist movement, made and still makes me leery of that way of thinking. I understand that you mean it in the best possible way! Though it seems to me to evoke a different era (your father's, obviously), even though I'm older than you. Weird, huh?

I hope this doesn't sound abrasive or aggressive (I'm a lady, after all!), but what I want is intellectual challenge, a supposition of equality, the ability to shrug off the old when it no longer means anything. Not good manners or formalized respect. To each, our own, right?

Yes. And I believe we can walk the walk of real equality and still be able to conduct ourselves in a gentle way. I hear you perfectly about the advances in women’s rights that happened in the 70’s. I saw my mother having to fight against sexism in her family and on the other hand teach us (my brother, my sister and me) to respect women and break with the customs that relegated women to domestic and motherhood activities, or to secretarial jobs. And it worked. I would be worried if anyone calls me anything less that egalitarian. I just think that I can give you your place as equal to me and still open the door of the car for you; that I can admire and support your intelect and still complement your looks. As you probably agree, most things are not black and white.