(Xposted) Muse Poem: Survivor's Smoke Break
The new widow buys two packs
Seneca red 100's
Not for the taste but the price
The swelling of nicotine
The pulmonary release
Of reclaiming the weight on her chest
In a placid moment after a month's maelstrom
She says he was smart about it
Only called the person who wouldn't tell
Didn't let on, signed a new lease with her,
Deleted all the evidence
Except two emails detailing a fake affair
A meticulously crafted excuse to opt out
Because he discovered
His first girlfriend's new necklace
Five minutes late, two decades ago
The survivor's guilt building
To a feedback loop crescendo
This story repeats itself like
Smoking rituals
She lights up, takes a puff,
Can hear him in the smoke
Says he talks to her, makes it ok
Because he is with her.
She is not religious but spiritual
And in this devine trauma
The ghost of him understands, finally,
What she means when she says
"I love you"
3
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