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Verses of BBQ

Salvations 1:1 Verily,verily I say unto thee, an open flame shall not touch thy cooking flesh or thine days will be numbered before you are cast into the lake of ire.

Goatesians 1:2-4 The only way to the BBQ is with the meat. It is blasphemous and very naughty in my wholly site for thou to roast, even over the slow fire, beef, chicken, venison, goat, lamb , possum, armadillo, rattlesnake or any other creature that roams the earth, the weasel, the mouse, the great lizard according to its kind, the gecko, the land crocodile, the lizard, the sand lizard, and the chameleon…. and this meat B-B-Q. They shall remain an abomination to you; Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch; they are unclean to you. The sacred pig is the only animal acceptable in my site for B-B-Q.

Baah 1:5 It is unwholly and unwise and another abomination to use a cooking vessel that is a gas grill to cook the sacred BBQ. Just as the BBQ must be pork, so must the fire be charcoal with hickory chips, the aroma is pleasing to my nostrils.

Hornations 1:9 It is unholy to anoint the sacred pig with thy sauce while the wholly BBQ is cooking. To put sauce on the wholly flesh is impure and unclean. I will turn my eyes away thee and cease to bless those who transpire against me and do not keep my commandments. Thou shall not be impatient while thy cookest the wholly BBQ. Bring not to my table meat with the fat still in it. Cook the meat slowly and turn it often and you will be blessed.

Gnaw 1:20-23 When serving the blessed and wholly BBQ thy condiments shall not include green garden vegetable, or green peas, or squash, or rutabagas, or turnips, or kale, or brussel sprouts, or field peas, or celery, or broccoli, or cauliflower, nay I say unto you. BBQ beans are right on, as is mustard slaw and bread.

Bud 1:1 Thy must drink beer with thy BBQ or you will be smitten and turned into a pillar of salt.

From my ABC's of BBQ: Smoking the Meat Edition [ruthlessreviews.com]

GuyKeith 8 May 16
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2

Right on...
..

2

Hornations 1:9 reads like a leathery disaster in the making doesn't it??

FrayedBear Level 9 May 16, 2018
2

Thou must also solemnly turn the snags such that they achieve the nirvana of having the right grill marking.

3

Thou shalt not allow a woman, nay, not even thy wife, to approach the BBQ, not even unto the seventh foot, save to serve a fresh beer, and retire with due modesty.

Petter Level 9 May 16, 2018
2

They will remain abomination to you unless you are Chinese ...

Humanlove Level 7 May 16, 2018
3

It's that time of year again! Great that we're forewarned.

pixiedust Level 8 May 16, 2018
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