How many of you pronounce the "t" in often?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

No that’s weird

What is an ideal body weight for a woman 5'3"?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Whatever weight at which she feels happy and healthy.

What is the most dramatic natural wonder that you have personally seen?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Chugac Mountain range in Alaska. Photos can’t begin to do it justice!

How do you feel about religious music being played in a gym?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Yeah WHY?! That is terrible! Not just as an atheist but as a human being with ears!

I love women I respect women I love and respect women so much I don't even talk to them Steve ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

A vast improvement on many others!

Some years back , I was sitting in a resin chair , with my back to the road , working in my front ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 11, 2018:

Yeah this sounds like someone who latched on to you because you were kind and generous to him once, and is going to keep trying to get you to do things for him until you put your foot down.

Overweight shows weakness?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

There is an unfortunately common stigma that weight is an indication of virtue. Our society has the same stigma about poverty. Both ignore many relavent factors in order to assign a label of good or bad to strangers.

Thinking back on my recent ex and his behavior(he did everything on the meme).

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

I lived with this for, well most of my life. My father is a borderline NPD - not the worst of all of these but treats others as either an extension of himself, or as beneath him. He truly believes that the only right way to do anything is the way he would do it, even if he has never actually done that thing. He is very controlling and often lacking in empathy. When challenged he explodes and will punish family members with silence until they apologize. I set out to find a man who was nothing like my father. So I picked a man who was immature, irresponsible and did not value intelligence or education. And it didn’t seem unusual or unacceptable to me when he was dismissive of my needs and feelings, responded to perceived slights with fury, and punished me for not doing what he wanted. He ultimately did all of the things listed here - lied chronically, bullied and guilt-tripped to control me, used me, stole from me and willingly traded my needs and well-being for his whims. I could describe many, many interactions like the ones you describe. The worst thing I could do was ask for what I needed, ever, no matter how small or easy it would be to give me. To do so was “mean, selfish, controlling, terrible,” an attack on him, and meant that I didn’t love him enough. the best thing he ever did for me was leave.

Ladies: long beard, short beard, or no beard?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Neither clean shaven nor full bearded would be my preference. A little bit of facial hair ?.

I've been divorced for 35 years, I've had long relationships but sometimes I don't think I could ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

I get that. I married my high school boyfriend and only in hindsight realized that he was a toxic, emotionally abusive person. We fought often because I had unreasonable expectations, like that he contribute to the household, be a parent, and not do things that hurt me when that was the easiest way to get what he wanted. He left me for a woman who did not have those expectations. When he realized that she had nothing to offer but sex and no standards, he said he wanted to get back together. But he maintained his ultimatum that I abandon my expectations. I got literally nothing from my marriage. Looking back, I recognize that a person who is willing to hurt you for their own benefit, by definition, does not love you. So it’s hard for me to imagine having a healthy or happy relationship.

Those of you previously married. How likely are you to marry again or are you put off completely?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Probably not. I got literally NOTHING out of being married, so it’s not something I’m looking to repeat. I might be open to the possibility for the right person, in the right circumstances, but it’s definitely not something I have a personal drive to do.

Atheist Bingo

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

BINGO!!!

What I want is to hear a valid argument that their is a God.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

You have come to the wrong place ?

I feel like no one exists in Connecticut, USA. lmao

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 10, 2018:

No, I’m pretty sure there are people in Connecticut. Nebraska, though, is a different matter. ?

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion Jonathan Haidt (Author, ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

This is a REALLY interesting book. I cite it often in conversations about ideology. He describes 6 themes of moral beliefs, and their evolutionary basis. So, for example, we identify things as morally wrong when we find them yucky (e.g. eating certain types of animals or for some people, gay sex) because a healthy sense of disgust protected our ancestors from becoming ill from spoiled food. People also value loyalty to a group or team, fairness, and care for others. I don’t remember the other two... Conservatives tend to value all of these about equally, while liberals tend to value care for others above everything else. A good example is the whole kneeling for the anthem debate. Liberals tend to perceive this as standing up for people who are disadvantaged. Conservatives tend to perceive it as being disloyal to the “team” (America).

At his rally in Great Falls, Montana, on July 5, Trump claimed that he has been cleared by Congress ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

He relies on the biggest, the loudest, the angriest lies - it’s part of gaslighting. Undermine every other source of information, tell blatant lies and demand that people Believe them even though they are easily falsifiable. People can believe anything when they want to.

Mad In America

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Oh I just thought you were stating your current condition, in which case you would be in good company!

Anyone else hate being the only one who doesn’t bow their heads and/or close their eyes when some ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Anyone who catches you must not have been closing their eyes either!!

Revenge isn't always the best plan

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

That idea kept me in an abusive marriage for many years.

Helping can be harmful.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Been there. He had me convinced that I needed him, and that I should be willing to sacrifice my needs and well-being to give him whatever he wanted. that it was not just ok but RIGHT that I should hurt and suffer for his benefit.

Thirty-eight young children have parents either living in an unknown location within the US or ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Wow that is just appalling.

Taking a poll. Which is better for making love. Enigma or Yanni?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 9, 2018:

No. Just no.

Ok, so I have a lunch date tomorrow.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 8, 2018:

I worry about that too - if we cover all of the “get to know you” stuff in messages, what will we talk about when we meet?

I just watched a mosquito throw up after biting me.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Gross!

What kind of person are you a sucker for?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

The WRONG kind

TOTAL KNEE REPLACEMENT: part 2.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Ugh that sucks. I had wrist surgery in May. Felt foggy from the anesthesia and pain meds for weeks, severe pain, physical restriction, it was so frustrating. Good news is, we are on the downhill slope now. Take care of yourself!

Okay, this is about self abuse.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Ok, I’m sorry you confided in someone and it went badly, but I strongly disagree with your advice. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, up to and including suicide, please talk to someone. Reach out, tell a friend, seek help. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline number is 1-800-273-8255. The text helpline is 741-741.

Any metal listeners?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Definitely a metal fan!

Look, officer, I know what I saw.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Cool! Seen some of these before / nice to get the explanation.

What fandoms do you enjoy ?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Hunger Games - Books and movies. Am reading all of the Harry Potter books now and will watch the movies when I’m done.

Hanging up on people was much more emotionally satisfying when you could slam the receiver down.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

You could carry an air horn and blast people with it before pressing end.

I strike up a conversation with a gentleman here ....agnostics.com right?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Curious what his profile says about his beliefs.

Since the age of 17 I've only been single for about 6 months, not counting the time since my husband...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Yep. Being single is SOOO MUCH BETTER than being in a bad relationship!

I learned , I needed to pay attention to what others had to say about other people , in order to ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

I would not recommend anyone include income in their bio - unless you are interested in finding someone who only wants you for your money. As for debt, it would depend. Someone who has college loans and mortgage debt, or is paying for a car, that’s fine with me. Someone who ran up credit card debt - that indicates irresponsible behavior and is a major red flag for me.

For those who are married.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Yes, I was much lonelier in my marriage than I have ever been since my divorce. being alone isn’t lonely for me. Being with someone who didn’t let me be myself was lonely.

How do you respond when a complete stranger approaches you in the street and tells you "Jesus loves ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

How about “Santa Clause thinks you’re super cool.”

I watch the news on a constant basis but all I see is white people who are being extremely racist to...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Yeah, you’ve hit a lot of issues here but I can see why it all gets jumbled together. A lot of white folks are angry about the culture shift too, and we can’t say it enough. the rise of Trump-fueled racism is shocking and appalling. yes, I knew there were still racists, but 5 years ago most racists knew to keep it to themselves because it was not socially acceptable. With the election of Trump, it seems like people are emboldened in their hate. The current state of police interactions with POC is, I assume, a similar thing - it has probably always happened but people are more aware now because of cell-phone cameras and the internet. It’s disturbing, and it makes me angry, to see how white people yield the power of police as a weapon because they are uncomfortable with the presence of black and brown people. And it’s unacceptable how often police are acting as jury and executioner. And the combination of those things must be terrifying for POCs. It’s definitely not, as you say, “all white people,” also not the majority I think, but still far too many people living in backwards ignorance. I’m sad and upset the POC are living in fear. I’m sorry for how this is affecting you and so many others. We are with you.

Let's talk food and coffee Not politics Not dates I can walk up an ask a total stranger about...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

I think the whole approaching strangers in public for dating purposes thing is such a crapshoot! You have literally nothing to go in except appearances! What are they odds that a random person you approach is going to meet your basic dealbreakers, let alone have anything in common with you?

1st time on any dating site but figured this one was the best bet to meet a "like minded" individual...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 7, 2018:

Sorry to say, but so far there isn’t really the “critical mass” of people to work as a dating site. At least, if you have any criteria in addition to non-belief!

What stops you cold when you read a profile?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 6, 2018:

OH and repeated uses of the words “fit” and “fitness” as these are code not for activities but for physical preference.

So my late husband's mother wrote my Mom a 3 page long letter that arrived today.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 6, 2018:

I had me one of those (toxic MIL). Can’t believe she contacted your mother to tell on you!!!

If an ex asked for one more chance, would you give it to them?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

One more? That would make 1,678. Apparently 1,677 was my limit.

What stops you cold when you read a profile?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

Catholic. Christian. Lack of education. Identifying as heavy drug or alcohol user. Negativity (“no liars or cheaters” says “angry” to me)

What stops you cold when you read a profile?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

Catholic. Christian. Lack of education. Identifying as heavy drug or alcohol user. Negativity (“no liars or cheaters” says “angry” to me)

You Done Me Wrong - This is What I Wish For You

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

I wish others to get everything they deserve.

I got home last night after a fun night out with friends old and new.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

I have identified a few as likely scammers. One was, in the photo, a very good looking white guy (sorry, not a race issue, but giving the visual appearance of being American) who said he lived in Michigan. The profile indicated a bachelor’s degree, but he couldn’t string together one whole sentence without a weird and awkward grammar mistake. Obviously not what he wanted to appear to be.

I have to share because I know y'all will understand.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 5, 2018:

I feel you!

So I am a beekeeper, I only have one hive but I still qualify.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 3, 2018:

I mean, it’s a nice idea for something to do with other people’s money.

Have you ever woken up to the nastiest kitchen in three counties and wondered how it got that way, ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 3, 2018:

So you have kids

I recently came home from a visit with family and friends in Utah.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Probably yes. Women get a lot of socialization that our bodies are gross, that anything sexual about our bodies is yucky. And, you know, women aren’t everyone’s thing and that’s ok.

Just thought I'd share my story.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Seems like a common pattern in narcs is to accuse you of what they are doing - lies to you and calls you a liar, calls you controlling for wanting to have any say in your own life, willingly hurts you to get what they want and calls you selfish for complaining about it, and on and on.

As you may have read elsewhere on here, my niece (by marriage) was murdered over the weekend by her ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Dammit people suck. I am so sorry.

Theism and Mental Illness

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 2, 2018:

We’ve had this debate before. Mental illness is defined by causing dysfunction or interfering with living your life. Many people lead happy, successful lives without Their religious belief causing them any problems. In this time, in this culture, religious belief can not be defined as a mental illness.

What do people think about the seperation of families who are breaking the law by coming here ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 1, 2018:

I think you don’t traumatize children if at all avoidable, in order to punish parents.

What’s the worst or most boring job you’ve ever had?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 1, 2018:

Everyone should have at least one terrible job in their life. It builds character. Mine was working at a dry cleaner. It doesn’t sound that bad but you handle other people’s dirty clothes all day, it is hotter than satan’s butthole in the summer, the boss was a supreme douche, and snotty rich people treat you like trash because your job is to clean their clothes.

So.

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 1, 2018:

Wow that’s quite an endorsement! And door-to-door cannoli service is pretty awesome!

Have you ever heard the term lizard brain?

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 1, 2018:

I thought it referred to automatic responses, not intuitive knowledge.

I have a friend, female, pretty, very kind hearted, not overweight, but every time she starts seeing...

A2Jennifer comments on Jul 1, 2018:

I agree you should say something if you are good friends. A way to try avoid the words “you smell bad” or “you have body odor” might be to say I feel like as a friend I need to tell you, “your deodorant doesn’t work.”

I believe this to be true.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 30, 2018:

That’s why this is a helpful forum. Especially because we can share without people telling us to pray on it or WWJD or any of that nonsense.

anyone remember square one tv on pbs a tv show about math.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 29, 2018:

YES! There was. Detective segment with a math punny name...

Why does this sign exist?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 29, 2018:

Because someone did it once. Yep, people are stupid.

So I need some advice.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 29, 2018:

If you can’t live your life with these people in it, then you have to find a way to get them out of your life. There is no shame in removing toxic people from your life.

There not sticking.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Fair

Losing weight is challenging? True or false?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

I mean, yeah. if you want or need to lose weight than it requires sacrifice and behavior change, neither of which is easy.

I'm an only child.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

That’s rough, I’m sorry. As an only child, I feel you. Losing my parents seems really scary when I don’t have siblings to support eachother.

Any Pittsburgh people on here? Asking for a friend.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

It’s ok, we won’t tell anyone you’re from Pittsburgh!

Anybody else have this happen to them?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Haha everyone has the right to their own beliefs, as long as they’re mine!

I've had enough.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Good for you. It’s better to be alone than with anyone who would treat you badly.

A toxic life, is to deal with I was molested age 5 in a controlling Catholic environment.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Sorry about that. People are so ignorant about abuse. “Why didn’t you tell someone?” SOOOK many reasons. ESPECIALLY when the victim was a child. So glad you are working to help other survivors - it is good for them and also you.

How are you today?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Hanging in there. That is my standard answer since falling and messing up my hand. Not too bad. Hanging in there.

Do you support Trump?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

FUCK NO!

Hello.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

You are lucky to have had one great love. I have been divorced for 3 years and compared to my marriage, celibacy is the ONLY thing that sucks!

Would you agree?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 28, 2018:

Haha ME

I FOUND JESUS Okay so part of my job is to answer after hours hospice calls Well I answered ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Haha at a nursing home! That probably doesn’t reassure the patients!

Do you think that getting buried is taking up precious space ?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 27, 2018:

There’s a debate about that in one of my FB groups right now, but focused on one person refusing to respect the wishes of another. Personally I think it’s weird and have asked to have it all given away - to people, to science, to whoever wants it. When I’m done with it, they can have it.

Opinions are all very well but are based an a personal expectation, understanding or preference.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Opinions CAN be supported by evidence, often they are, but they are still opinions. Pew Research just published a piece about how people have trouble distinguishing between facts and opinions, especially if they don’t agree with it. http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/news-statements-quiz/

Is it possible not to be brainwashed toward the religion you grew up with?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Childhood Indoctrination

How young will you date?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 26, 2018:

I sort of worked out the same thing. Women don’t date younger men as often, but even so. I am almost 38 and my son is 19, so when someone younger expresses interest, I always try to figure out if they’re too close to my kid’s age.

What statements do you get bored of hearing from theists and religious people?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 26, 2018:

How can you know right from wrong without god?

No comments needed :)

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Took TWO passes for me to work it out!

Death. Do you fear it?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Not particularly. I wouldn’t want it to be soon, or painful. Ok, maybe it’s that death kind of scares me but being dead does not!

Is organised religion dangerous, just a harmless benign fantasy or somewhere in between?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 25, 2018:

It certainly CAN be dangerous, but is not necessarily so. Many people lead good, kind and functional lives, feeling guided by god or whatever, taking comfort in their beliefs. And others use it to justify their hatred and misdeeds.

Have you heard of Schema therapy, and maladaptive schemas?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Just noting that you defined “maladaptive* schema,” or at least the last sentence does. Maladapative schemes are characteristic of trauma victims and people with personality disorders (many of whom, to be honest, are also trauma victims).

Did you know that some Southern State radio stations banned The Beach Boys 'God Only Knows' on ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

That is one of the arguments in the lawsuits about the phrase “In God we trust” on currency. Most of the plaintiffs are atheists who object to having the government impose the phrase on us through currency. At least one of the plaintiffs in my district was a very religious Jew who objected to the use of God in this secular context, that it is disrespectful of God.

I’ve attended a catholic college the last four years.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I think that is an awesome, well-worded response to a common question from theists. Thanks for representing!

Maybe it could be called a fetish of sorts; but I do mostly prefer a larger lady.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

Curious if your idea of a “larger lady” is Meghan Trainor. She is only a “larger” lady in the context of Hollywood and media standards - she is several sizes smaller than America’s average (size 14) woman.

Pharmacist refuses to fill medication for miscarriage

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

Incidentally, the woman that happened to is a member of an atheist/agnostic FB group I am on and she shared her story with the group before this went wide. She was devastated and humiliated, trying to persuade a man to allow her the medication needed to miscarry the dead fetus that she desperately wanted. Walgreens policy is that a pharmacist can decline to fill a script but must hand it off to another staff member. A pharmacist’s job is not to impose their personal beliefs on people or serve as a gatekeeper to prevent people from executing decisions they make with their doctors. No one should be in a position of having to convince a third party that their needs or decisions are valid.

Does anyone else have this problem wherein, after being beaten down mentally at home and at school ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

Write it down. Then when you are feeling down on yourself you can look back and remind yourself.

Dating Religion Opinions

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I strongly prefer atheists/agnostics because I firmly believe that there is no god and operate on logic/reason/evidence. I don’t want to have to tiptoe around some else’s beliefs, that I find ridiculous, in a long-term relationship.

There are limits to these things. Everything in moderation.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

Ouch

Finding Hidden Meanings in Words When I was a kid (and I mean younger than 10) I was already ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I have always been interested in the sources and roots of words, how they evolved from other words, how parts of words impart meaning. I did very badly in French in high school, but did pick up the mal=bad/bene=good and notice how that repeats in English. Malignant, benign, benefit, malign, malevolent/benevolent, malaise.

Have you noticed a decline in writing skills?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I worked in my dad’s law office for years. He often marveled at how someone could pass the bar when they couldn’t write a coherent paragraph. And this was around 2000.

My mind may be in a dark place tonight.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I mean, ARE you a murderer? Hoping it’s not a guilty conscience thing!!

13 Reasons Why - Season 2

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

I thought it was great! Another layer of exploration into the consequences related to bullying.

Well here we go again.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

Ok, just a thought from the female perspective. If you were trying to build a friendship first, but always had the intention that it would become something romantic, and were not interested in actually being friends if it wasn’t going to become romantic, then the “friendship first” thing is a bit disingenuous.

How do you deal with the death of a friend?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

I am so sorry for your loss. My best suggestion is to find a way to honor his life. Support a cause that was important to him, volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline or organization, support someone he loved.

Trump Just Autographed Photos Of Dead Crime Victims And People Are Disgusted

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

That is disturbing.

I just looked at my phone after spending a crazy anxiety filled day out doing errands, then ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

As women we are socialized to put everyone else’s needs above our own, to sacrifice ourselves for others. It is critically important for us to learn to say no when we need to. Good for you. No guilt!

Could you love a child conceived out of rape?

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

Hard to imagine that situation without experiencing it. In many cases, a mother’s love knows no bounds. Certainly, my love for my child is not in any way diminished by the abuse of his father. But it’s hard to imagine a child created out of an act of intense trauma and violation.

[amp.

A2Jennifer comments on Jun 23, 2018:

No! Today was the first I head about this.