How Not to Hide a Boner

Eirteacher comments on Jun 10, 2018:

Get right up there and introduce your self. A shy guy don't get none.

Definition of a Musician

Eirteacher comments on Jun 10, 2018:

But, it's all about the gig man.

Harassment Prevention

Eirteacher comments on Jun 10, 2018:

You be up. They be down.

I thought of someone special when I saw this!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 10, 2018:

Puppy petting cures all those anxieties.

Shocking Revelation!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Really In Egypt they call me GOD

Ghost Sightings

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Those ghosts have ben getting away with murder.

Distraction....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Yea baby. But I don't care.

Seems Legit!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Next stop HELL---- in a ---- minute

Gotta love them double standards....ugh

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Don't worry your dog still thinks you are the biggest pussy.

How important are you?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

I cunt stand them.

Caturday At Last!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

You deserve a rest.

That should do the trick

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

On the third day he will have an erection.

There's always that one psychopath

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Stuff someone in a wood chipper.

Mr. Bill Posters

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Bill is innocent until proven guilty.

Interviews do suck

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

You are hired.

Say it's peaceful or I'll kill you

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Hallelujah, Praise the LARD I am born again.

Usually good advice

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Really wanted to do a Caturday post or two

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Did you expect him to do it lying down?

He Already Has One

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

You can't even give them away.

For the ladies only

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Sorry I should not have read this. My bad.

I was going to go to bed early but now Oakland is hella noisy. Yay!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

The Golden State Warriors done did it.

This sums it up quite well.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

And then you wonder why no one bothers to talk to you.

How Many of These Do You Remember? How Many Do You Still Own?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

I used to remember all of these things. Until I drank that bottle of Boone's Farm and it wiped out all my brain cells.

Green Bay Packers Co-owner Disagrees with NFL on Free Speech

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Makes me glad to be a Packers fan.

Another Kennedy Cares About Democracy

Eirteacher comments on Jun 9, 2018:

Hey Joe What do you know? Vote for Joe, He's ready to go.

Freshly released

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Flying fucks are so hard to give.

On winning

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

You can't take it with you.

Game time.....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Hub cap.

Something doesn't seem right

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Looks like a manikin.

Buy this for your cat meme 4

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Yea and quit looking at my cats *

Geesh, some people can't take a joke!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

There was a story in the news recently about a baptism in Africa where the person being baptized were eaten by an alligator.

Some very desperate walmartians, that's who.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

I always get stopped and asked if I am stealing Kielbasa.

For all those grammar Nazis that just can't contain themselves to correct everyone's shit.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

llet ot teh pslel Zitasi.

Tennis Ball Purchase

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

That's what you get when your password is "Who's a good boy?"

Guide to different stings

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

That made my sticker peck up.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

I know just how you feel. If it wasn't for the sports page and the funnies I wouldn't even read the morning paper. Every time I open it up I think what did this orange douche bag screw up today. remember to vote, offer people rides to the voting stations, and help the candidates. We will all get through this.

Good times....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

There was a joke on Laugh-In where Dan Rowen is in an Iron lung and Dick Martin asks, "Where did you get the neat Iron Lung?" and Rowen says "From cigarette coupons "

Is there anyone here who isn't "into weed?"

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

I quit smoking cigarettes many years ago. I smoke pot every once and a while but I am a light weight. A lot of my friends smoke and that's OK with me. I am for legalizing marijuana and for medical research.

Rock Bottom

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Dose this tree make my ass look big?

True story

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

That was me when I quit smoking.

History this happened in 1933 today. [m.facebook.com]

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Nine months later on this day there was a baby boom

Dilemmas...

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Well you could have waited three days but it nothing to lose your head over.

Parting shots at Paul Ryan....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

This is the answer to the Blazing Saddles question. "Where the white women at?" https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=blazing+saddles+youtube=032D4E462B1F6D28089442412AB46C0F=0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dblazing%2bsaddles%2byoutube%26FORM%3dQSRE2=detail=vwrc=FB25B3EC8B27DEDEBE53FB25B3EC8B27DEDEBE53=WRVORC

I am starting NutriSystem. Any advice?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

I did lose weight on NutriSystem but I found it was hard to get away from their food. You get into a habit of eating just their food and it is expensive compared to regular grocery food. What it dose teach you is to eat smaller portions and less carbs and fats.

Such a Sad Ending

Eirteacher comments on Jun 7, 2018:

Now only "Grasshopper" Kung Fu Cain survives.

Follow Those Tracks

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Maybe one of of his early ancestors from 30,000,000 years ago.

For the Grammar Nazis.....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

FKUC RMPUT

A New Sex Tape !

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

When will it be on Porn Hub?

You can do it!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Where is one of those flying cars they said we would all be driving in the year 2000.

Women's PGA Trophy

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Bill Maher had a trophy like this on show a few weeks ago and told the lady that it didn't matter if it was a fish trophy or a dick, to tell her man that it was the biggest one she had ever seen.

The Dog is a Good Mechanic

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Your right. Now hand me a 9/16 end wrench.

Zappa Wisdom

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Certainly is with this administration.

Found on Craig's List

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

With a fine patina exterior. $28,000 or best offer.

Barbecue With Barack O' Bama & Eagles

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Wearing his apron over his tan suit.

Do "Flat Earthers" think the sun,moon and other planets are flat ?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

I think they do it just to piss us off.

What do you like to do that is traditionally considered feminine?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Cooking and gardening. I don't mind pulling weeds or washing dishes.

Ezekiel 23 This was so graphic, I assumed I was being Joshed but it is indeed a Bible passage.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

I am dropping Porn Hub and going back to reading the Bible.

It looks like I may be leveling off at 6 for now.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

I just broke with 37,900 to go.

I'm a survivor, how about you???

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

I survived all those. Plus swimming in irrigation ditches and playing war games with my buddies with BB guns.

Just an update from this morning.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

2 now that's longevity. Good for her.

My Mum turned 70 today and I just found 2 totally white hairs.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

I like to think I earned every one of them.

Oh those were the days.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Then when you came out of it you had to tell them what a great time you had.

Subtle....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

That's the team sprite.

I'll be right over!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Damn. Sign me up.

The Bible everyone needs

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Short and sweet.

Upset about being called a racist?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

The first clue is they say. I'm not a raciest but--------

Another PSA

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

He's a white boy it's OK.

Cool pups from the 60's

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Yesterdays hippies. Todays gay pride parade entries.

The true millennial sink hole.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Hurry. Cover them up.

Just cat memes today 2

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Maybe they think taking ones photo will steal their sole.

Conqueror Cat!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

That's why I don't have a dog.

Relationship goals?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

No excuses because you didn't hear her.

Plan ahead.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

Big Bar-B-Que at my house. You are all invited.

All Women Want ....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 6, 2018:

What ever works.

Norwegians will toast their friends by raising a glass and exclaiming "skoal".

Eirteacher comments on Jun 5, 2018:

And whisky, with a side of lutefisk.

Unfaithful

Eirteacher comments on Jun 5, 2018:

But dear she was such a plain Jane. She meant nothing to me.

I tried to look up impotence on the Internet but nog came up

Eirteacher comments on Jun 5, 2018:

My doctor told me I was impotent. So I went out and bought a suit.

An ‘ol salt swaggers into a bar.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 5, 2018:

Us old sailors do have our problems.

Pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 5, 2018:

Good thing he didn't have to scratch.

Bariatric Surgery?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

I weighted 356 and had Lap Ban surgery, Now I am at 215 and have kept the weight off since 2004.

Well, that's one way to do it.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Not hung yet????? Hell we can se that.

Got some of that weird shit right here

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Come on Robin get your speedo and tights back on.

I agree with the dog on this one....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

It's his trainers fault if starts howling at the outhouse.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

How many people were shot in the back of the head in a theater? Two Abe Lincoln and the guy sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman.

I k He Does Need a Lid!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

You need all right. A casket lid.

Turkey Has Doubts!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

And Frank went on to be one wild turkey. Sneaking back to the hen house long after the other roosters were in the pot.

Texting Bad Puns!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Ya lighten up beach.

Newest challenge!!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

That is what they use to castrate bulls with.

The Power of Music

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Well strike up the band. And let's get to jamming.

Simon Peter...Shhhhhhhh!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Bait and switch.

Progress at Last!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Everything tastes better with cat hair in it.

Just quit!..

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

When I was teaching high school, the principal sent me and an other instructor to anger management classes. We told them to get fucked and walked out.

Mind of my own

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

You will fit right in here.

Forgot this redneck

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Remind me not to go to Trader Joes.

Game time..

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Brass Viagras for a short dick NRA gun nut.

Jack Sparrow says...

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

You must first be a problem solver to solve the unsolvable problems.

Happy Monday?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Now get to work.

White Chicks! lol

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Their Mommas were Valley girls.

She could do worse....

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

You have to have 12 inches to be a ruler.

Good Point!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

At Buckingham. They have the Royal Flush