Honestly a couple of my relationships started like this

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Story of my love life.

Too much LMAO

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Now that could become a new diet plan.

Placement is everything

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

For some real adult entertainment.

Dique swoon ?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

I am going to have to post this on Porn Hub.

What a night

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

And your phone isn't charged.

Going for the wood

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Now that's a woody.

Not this guy

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Looks like the little fella has quite a crop in the back yard.

What? Surprised?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 4, 2018:

Immaculate conception????

. Making a spectacle

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Similar joke: A man goes to a house of ill repute and asked the madam for something different. He is told to go up stairs to see an older lady named Mable. He goes to her room and knocks on the door and she says come in. He asked Mable what her specialty was and was informed she had a glass eye. She popped the glass eye out and the thought Kinky but still had his way with her. After he was done he informed Mable that was the best he ever had and he would be back. Mable said "I'll keep an eye out for you."

Ask a stupid question Karen

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Sounds logical to me.

Just what does everyone think about this dating word?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Trumpanzees go to family reunions.

Good morning!

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

The coffee is HOT this morning.

Where are you from?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Born in Montana, but the winters are too damn cold. So I moved to Arizona, but the summers are too damn hot. So now I am visiting my sister in Utah. Just right temperature wise.

This topic has been covered a few times on here.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Number 4 is so me. The last woman who asked me for a dick-pic, I sent her a picture of tRump.

This morning the list of topics is gone from the right side of my screen on the Browse Topics page.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

You are getting cross eyed from reading all these eye rolling memes.

It helps them grow

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Mary, Mary Quite contrary. How dose your garden grow? With Silver Bells and Cockle Shells, And one big damn weed.

Know your history

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Now this new information, makes this post is totally accurate.

Uber problems

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Sounds like Momma might be looking for a new Daddy

What kind of fun would that be?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

Buy them green and they will last for weeks.

Now THAT makes sense

Eirteacher comments on Jun 3, 2018:

I'm going back to bed.

Another serious one about another hero of mine

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

Great campaign slogan. Darwin for President 2020

Feck·less adjective lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

The same people who are upset at Samantha Bee are quite on killing school children.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

A couple hours later he passed his sister on the street.

[facebook.com]

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

Damn it's short enough already.

What men REALLY want.

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

I think he really want's to skull fuck her.

Water for the First Time

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

Then they immediately shrivel up.

Helpful Cat

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

That's why I wake up so refreshed.

Yah, gets confusing

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

The Ambian did it.

Friday Happiness

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

Free at last.

Rejected by the Salvation Army

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

They have tons of old books, broken electrical stuff and kitchen stuff. But the clerk lady kept the other box.

Lock Him Up

Eirteacher comments on Jun 1, 2018:

Phony bastard.

Sometimes nothing says more than a woman that wears a good hat

Eirteacher comments on May 30, 2018:

I was trying to figure out how to align the holes in her britches.

Someone's going to jail

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

That means God id a dead beat Dad.

Passwords

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Did you know that you can ware a set of underpants for four days? It's true. Ware them the right the first day. Then on the second day reverse them On the third day turn them inside out. and on the forth day reverse them a second time. On the plus side, they will ware evenly.

You don't have to be a Hippie to relate to this.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

How does the Bellamy Brothers song go? He's an old hippie and he don;t know what to do. Should I hang on to the old. Should he grab on to the new.

Sneaky sneaky

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

That's what I say to the Lot Lizards at the truck stop

Woman knows what she wants.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Nine to 90 or over 90 pounds. I take she is in my range

The Meaning of Life

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Don't forget pooping.

Yeah, lock me up if I ever get this desperate.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Smoke em if you got em.

I think this is representative of most of us on this site.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Darwin will take care of them. And you will be on the right side of life.

I wouldn't put it on a sign if I were you.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Your too pretty to do such a thing.

Women have all the power.

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Out of the mouths of babes.

That's gotta hurt!

Eirteacher comments on May 29, 2018:

Now that cut hurts.

Sneaky sneaky

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Must be her imaginary friend.

Should be called "F_cking" nut because if it gets loose you're f-cked.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

This is why we should not bust a nut for Jesus.

Time for BBQ and family gatherings

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I want seconds.

Yes or No ???

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Don't forget your rubbers.

.What Would You Do/Say?

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Oh for the love of God. Give him a big hug and welcome him into the family.

Advice from Another Dog

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

The old talking about old tricks.

Spongebob is a perv.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Bob on this baby.

Rare color photograph of my soul

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I wonder if she snores like my kitty?

Intelligent design

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

The marvels of modern medicine. They changed a black persons hand to a white persons even fingered hands. With the thumbs missing.

Ah nature...

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

So that's how airplanes have babies.

Well dammit!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I agree with the smut publishers. That description doesn't get it for me either.

He looks happy.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

What a happy guy.

Big Brother's got nuthin' on him!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Big Brother's Eye is watching you.

WTF is wrong with some people.. smh.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

This dumb bitch is from Soldotna Alaska.

There's an album cover for ya!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I'll bet she can do the umpa umpa.

Couldn't resist this...

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

It really means the rich are pissing on the poor.

Cat maths

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

https://agnostic.com/member/Eirteacher#gallery-1 My cute little babies I concur with the mathematical formula.

I love reading!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

If they aren't having sex by the third page I toss the damn thing.

& my Mom warned me my face could stay this way!!!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I don't talk to trumpanzees,

A very scientific test...

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Damn! Now I am dumb a gay guy with schizophrenia and epilepsy.

Made you look!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

And the award for Miss Popularity goes to........

It will help you lose weight!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I'll pass on seconds.

Let the fun begin... :P

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

ALCOHOL

Dam jebus... send out a fucking warning next time you do that shit!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

OK!!!!!! Who pulled his finger?

At least I am fucking polite about it.

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

That's just the fucking way us sea biscuit swab jockeys are.

Where we get all our morals!!!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

That's makes Daddy a pimp.

Stronger than dirt!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

I would rather be a Monkey's Uncle that a Dirtbag Daddy.

Just about a given...

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

You just lost the argument.

I know just how he feels!

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

And they strutted around with no fucks to give for ever after.

Murder Weapon

Eirteacher comments on May 28, 2018:

Now I know where all these murder weapons that don't fit anything came from. I will have return them to the scene of the crime.

Well look at you.

Eirteacher comments on May 27, 2018:

What are you talking about the ladies say that all the time to me.

Because my example....

Eirteacher comments on May 27, 2018:

That puts the NO in NecroOphilia.

Is pretty damn bad

Eirteacher comments on May 27, 2018:

That's why I dated three Carols at one time.

Get out now!

Eirteacher comments on May 27, 2018:

Son: I'm also a liberal. dad: I'm getting my gun.

Hell to the no.

Eirteacher comments on May 27, 2018:

I think she was smart enough to know her parents would not believe that God was the guilty one who knocked her up.

And Atheists?

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

https://agnostic.com/group/Meme/post/90480/next-time-kids-misbehave

Lol, just couldn't help myself

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

Just as long as nobody pees in the pol.

Hi from Tucson.

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

Hi back from Benson.

Ever meet that one person.....

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

Steve is an idiot. Don't be like Steve.

I should try this

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

That's about the only way I could catch a fish.

The treadmills true purpose

Eirteacher comments on May 26, 2018:

I use mine for a close hanger.

I concur......

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

It's a day to day struggle.

This makes me giggle every time. ?

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

The same thing fish do in your water.

I'll use this irl

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

Honesty like this will get you n where.

Spiritual Batman

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

Everything in Gotham is now copasetic.

So that's where that lamp came from!

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

You could win it as a major award.

Friends and Enemies

Eirteacher comments on May 24, 2018:

A friend is a pest.

This isn't the forum

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

If you are going to slash your wrists. Do it from the elbow down to the wrist.

Flak......

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Fock as in one of the Fockers.

This one time, at band camp...

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

It's the sound of music.

Uplifting quote to start your day

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

I told you would go to higher places.

Here kitty kitty...

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

What's that darn cat doing down there anyway?

I <3 filthy perverts.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

I buy. Crown and Water for me.

Not even savage....just boring.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

I think he is going to be spending a lot mort time with Robin.

If only my boss was so understanding.....

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

You should move back in with Mommy and Daddy.

Did anyone else volunteer as a greeter on this site?

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

You are really in training for that good job at Wally-world.

I think he's correct.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

A few years ago a punk in Montana told the judge he was doing this to piss off Obama. The judge told the dumb little bastard the Obama didn't really worry about stuff like this and fined $250.00.