I'll be too busy to post tomorrow.

EricJones comments on Nov 28, 2024:

She can come to thanksgiving wearing that halloween costume, I don't mind.

Happy Saturday!

EricJones comments on Nov 30, 2024:

That clown just summed up how black friday works.

Hope I got the right one...

EricJones comments on Dec 1, 2024:

I think whichever you eat you're gonna be happy when all said and done.

If I keep this up, I'll be in line for the next Sec of Defense.

EricJones comments on Dec 5, 2024:

Maybe you need to lose a few pounds, or get stronger friends.

You have to accept it. When it's over, it's over,

EricJones comments on Dec 9, 2024:

Just get a large bucket of sand and a heat lamp. Dump the sand on a beach blanket next to the heat lamp in a corner of a room, put Michelle and her beach chair on the sand and she'll be fine. Looks like the elves on the shelf were bored.

Just follow the evidence...

EricJones comments on Dec 21, 2024:

Years ago I was walking one of the dogs, and they had just painted the yellow lines in the main street through town and she decided to follow the yellow line for a few steps as we crossed the street with the same result- right onto the sidewalk. They lasted about 3 weeks.

Got my TEMU tent today!!!

EricJones comments on Dec 23, 2024:

At least it'll be easy to set up.

Hanukkah ham?

EricJones comments on Dec 23, 2024:

I have some really bad news for them-it ain't gonna sell.

That time of year - eve edition.

EricJones comments on Dec 24, 2024:

When I put my tree up it sits in the front window, so I have to decorate the whole thing. The wise men must have kids.

Ah carbon, I'm exhausted!!!!

EricJones comments on Dec 25, 2024:

If I get coal this year-I'm heating the house. The hell with grussy and grooty-I want her.

Ewwwwwww🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Dec 27, 2024:

trump is much bigger than that walrus from north korea.

Setting priorities, infantile style.

EricJones comments on Dec 27, 2024:

His company owes millions to Panama in unpaid taxes, so that explains the Panama bit and he just wants to turn Greenland into the worlds biggest open-pit mine and now wants to do the same to Canada. He doesn't understand the word no. How many women said no to him and he stuck his hands in their groin anyway. He thinks people will just give him what he wants.

STILL that time of year.

EricJones comments on Dec 28, 2024:

Love the christmas trees done in different styles. Be very quiet opening the presents-dads hangover might become a problem.

Sunday, Funday!!!! 🤘🤘🎉😍🍻😘

EricJones comments on Dec 29, 2024:

Just don't spill the marinara on the satin-it's a bitch to get it out.

Welcome to my allegory! Not sure how the pinup x-ray fits in, but it was too cool to pass up.

EricJones comments on Jan 14, 2025:

kennedy needs to see that vaccine "cure" right away so he can make it offical government policy as soon as he gets his post.

Sitting in my mom's gastroenterologist's office and we're watching Bonanza on the TV!

EricJones comments on Jan 21, 2025:

That bird looks just like my Tookie. She talks a lot but she doesn't swear. If she sees my phone she starts saying hello.

How did I do...

EricJones comments on Jan 25, 2025:

Actually quite inventive, good carving skills. Love the helmet.

Donorrhea Twatwaffle!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Jan 27, 2025:

Before he and his grifter family get deported-publicly shave his head on live tv. And if the plane they're flying in only has enough fuel to make it halfway across the ocean-oh well, sucks to be them.

As a long-time eagles fan, I feel you pain in Buffalo. And BTW, GO BIRDS!

EricJones comments on Feb 1, 2025:

I've got that lizzard problem a few miles from me, but it's just a dirt road through a wetland that nobody lives on, so they just block the road till the migrating/mating season is over.

Damn!!! They'll go to outrageous lengths to get a hold of us!

EricJones comments on Feb 7, 2025:

I take a spare top sheet and put it on top of everything on my bed. It catches everything and when it gets dirty, take it off and put another on. Yes, it's a really cheap valentine meal, but at least he tried.

I don't know where to post this but I just got off the phone with Redheadedgammy, she's not doing ...

EricJones comments on Feb 19, 2025:

I don't have any way to contact her except through here, so if somebody could please wish her well and keep up the fight for me, thanks

What? Melt your own butter!

EricJones comments on Feb 23, 2025:

She should watch the movie on tv, with all the ads there would be plenty of time to burp up the popcorn.

Watch out who is giving you advice.

EricJones comments on Feb 25, 2025:

If you birdwatch around my macaw you wear a hat and a full face shield. When he lets fly it's about the size of a ping pong ball.

It's just around the corner . . .

EricJones comments on Mar 19, 2025:

Given the problems he has with his large intestine-would he be the party pooper?

That'll make him regret his choice, for sure. LOL

EricJones comments on Mar 24, 2025:

Kimmy found out that don jr inherited his old mans itsy bitsy tenny weeny weenie.

Jeffrey Goldberg released the full texts, proving that trump, hegseth and numerous other morons lied...

EricJones comments on Mar 26, 2025:

He got tired of being called a liar, fraud, extreme left fake reporter and whatever else they called him and just put his cards on the table. It really sucks when one honest person proves the entire cabinet to be a bunch of morons and liars.

But to be honest, I sort of dig great Uncle Billy Goat. I have a goatee, too. LOL

EricJones comments on Mar 31, 2025:

If your family wanted to bury some of their past-there's probably a good reason. Bluto is smarter than trump-who'd -a thunk it.

A real stem-winder...

EricJones comments on Apr 3, 2025:

If your watch tells you it's snack time do you eat it?

The second part shows cross pollination.

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2025:

From the looks of things I really don't think that guy really needs that pizza anyway

The three ring shit show!!!! This clown needs to go away!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 7, 2025:

May will be deporting pilgrims who came over on the- you guessed it- Mayflower.

Tom Homan is offensive to me.

EricJones comments on Apr 8, 2025:

Take that fat bigot, strip him down to his skivvies, stick him in the worst apartment in the worst slum in Mexico City and make him live there-house arrest, 500 yard limit- for the next 3 years. See how long he lasts.

I would modernize this to include gentlewomen as well.

EricJones comments on Apr 9, 2025:

Nobody like that in the higher levels of elected government anymore , that's for sure.

He predicted it.

EricJones comments on Apr 14, 2025:

I have a bucket of sealer for my driveway, lots of birds that shed and a rail line near my house-lets have a parade.

Damn!!! Look at the doughboys ass!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Apr 16, 2025:

Some days I'm with Kermit.

There is one place left where I get the chance to do this.

EricJones comments on Apr 17, 2025:

I wonder if she knows that she married a vulcan?

I read that the lardass has particular animosity towards Harvard because the Pritzker family, long ...

EricJones comments on Apr 18, 2025:

Part of his move to total dick-tater. Force all schools from kindergarten to university to teach what he wants taught. It's called make america stupid.

Bonus zombie day humor!

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2025:

I always thought they were deciding where they were going for takeout after the game. Susan and the 2 bunnies need to have a sit down and compare notes.

“Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy”…………..Isaac Newton.

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2025:

trump and all his lackeys have no idea what that word is. Way above their education level.

Get the wet straw ready, We need some white smoke

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2025:

They already follow his anti-DEI policies and are extremely regressive, hell he's a perfect fit. Although he likes to bang women and not little boys.

This could be in chapter one of the sequel. Very clever.

EricJones comments on Apr 27, 2025:

The orange fake christian wore a blue suit because everybody was told to wear black by the vatican. The blue suit made him stand out like a sore thumb and put all the attention on him which is what he wanted. He didn't give a shit about the other corpse in the room, he wanted everybody talking about him.

Hitting the front of the machine never works, either.

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2025:

My cats have the everything book, it was the sequel to the tables book.

On top of his game, right?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2025:

It very much does matter if that orange turd can't remember who he's talking about. The "it doesn't matter" is a typical response of someone who is well into dementia. My mom is the same way and she's in assisted living.

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a...

EricJones comments on May 2, 2025:

Well, it does save all the time and money of a wedding and then the divorce.

I'm hoping for luck to hit us soon, this shit is getting out of hand! 🤣

EricJones comments on May 3, 2025:

I don't watch pro sports, but if they strung up barney one of those crosses I'd at least watch the halftime show

That's the plan that the brain dead voted for, because eggs, and can't vote for a woman of color.

EricJones comments on May 9, 2025:

That pretty much sums up project 2025, which trump is hellbent on implementing.

This bitch should have had an abortion!

EricJones comments on May 12, 2025:

donnie boy was banging her too????

This bitch should have had an abortion!

EricJones comments on May 12, 2025:

donnie boy was banging her too????

Taking directions is a skill! 😂

EricJones comments on May 13, 2025:

I gave my cats the kitchen bar to eat off-the dogs can't get to the cat food-but they have to stay off the "my" food counter and that's a fight. I wouldn't dare tip over the counter I used at work. It was a sterile biological hood. Ran over $100 thou and it was my headache. But there was one of those old grey 5 drawer metal file cabinets outside the IV room that some dents in the side that just happened to be the size of my fist.

upon further reflection, I can see Alcatraz being sooooooo on the trump brand.

EricJones comments on May 13, 2025:

The minute that plane gets airborne, somebody blow it out of the sky and have a live camera on trumps face just to get his expression when he gets the news. .

A problem solver for sure.

EricJones comments on May 18, 2025:

That orange asshole is a bent over shuffling stupid babbling crisis/disaster. Of course he'll grant SS guards refugee status-he thinks he's hitler

Honestly, I might try that kind of throwback on just about any day.

EricJones comments on May 24, 2025:

Sisyphus was the guy making crop circles?

I bet it's just plated.

EricJones comments on May 24, 2025:

Don't give him any ideas.

In the words of Paris Hilton, "That's hot!"

EricJones comments on May 26, 2025:

For me it's usually- I am awake, let me get to the bathroom quickly.

Probably a big fat LIE misunderstanding. ahem

EricJones comments on May 30, 2025:

He lied through his teeth, so, what else is new?

Reminds me of the jersey shore...

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2025:

Donna's got a point-they did ask for it. That's why I always lay on a beach blanket.

Mmmm chicken 🍗🐔😋🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2025:

I need that stalker at my house when I'm shopping to text me the things I'm low on and forgot to add to my grocery list. I usually miss something

Happy pride month y'all, no matter how you like your bourbon. 😏🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

EricJones comments on Jun 6, 2025:

jd would be so proud of that poor lady with 9 out and another in the oven (I assume she's mom) that he's gonna cry so much that all that eye liner he likes is gonna make him look like Alice Cooper.

I think maybe it's a Boston accent?

EricJones comments on Jun 6, 2025:

I think mommy busted daddy and she's not too happy. Did Tom play the game 3 times and just add up his scores?

Yeah, well, whatever! 🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 11, 2025:

epstein wasn't his type-way too old, he much preferred 11-13 year old baby girls with only 2 dolls.

It's getting harder to be funny these days.

EricJones comments on Jun 12, 2025:

That's why I put all my tv's (3) on the same channel for a movie or a longer show. I run around the house doing things because if I sat down to watch a movie I most likely wouldn't make it past the first 10 minutes.

Lotsa meme traffic in this category today for some reason.

EricJones comments on Jun 14, 2025:

That took a shit load of happy meals to get all those "medals" but where's the one for making a basket of french fries?

Old Yam Tits!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2025:

I guess yam tits is better than stubby.

Happy Father's Day!!!! 💐🎊🥳🍻🎉

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2025:

Shouldn't those chocolates be for mothers day?

Summertime in Texas is not a good idea!!! 🥵🥵🥵🤬🤬🤬🤬🔥🔥🔥🔥

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2025:

If I acted my age they'd put me in the old folks home. I guess that guy's wife is telling him not to quit the day job to do stand-up

They do call it a squeeze box. Another reason daddy never sleeps at night. LOL

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2025:

And as little Bobby got older he remembered to put on his shirt because accordions aren't nicknamed tit nippers for nothing.

Squeak squeak. Gonna oil that up, probably in two weeks.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2025:

That squeaky little tank was over 80 years old, no wonder it was squeaky. I don't know too many 80 year olds who aren't a little squeaky now and then. Although Sherman's were a little noisy to start with.

Give 'em an inch, they take a yard!

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2025:

He's gonna be wearing that pizza if he says that to her. Looks like that one night stand sobered up.

Bonus Vintage folder flush. It was getting pretty full.

EricJones comments on Jun 29, 2025:

I think that guy has been sitting out in the sun waaaay too long

“Caring for others is an expression of what it means to be fully human”………….

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2025:

So that means trump and his ultra right cronies aren't human, which is really very old news.

We got rid of one of the puppies, but for some reason nobody is wanting these two sweethearts so ...

EricJones comments on Mar 17, 2020:

When they're tuckered out-any spot will do. Very cute.

Cute puppy

EricJones comments on Mar 17, 2020:

Will she cough up any toilet paper for a good belly tickle?

Jason legit look depressed

EricJones comments on Mar 17, 2020:

It's been dry times for everybody.

Great for many things

EricJones comments on Mar 19, 2020:

And probably make you blind and do a number on your stomach.

The guy who was forced to 'Shelter in place'...

EricJones comments on Mar 21, 2020:

Decades ago tv was called the great wasteland. What would those people call it today?

This is the thing

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2020:

Ain't it the truth.

Not the normal intermission.... But intermission from all the crap in the world.

EricJones comments on Apr 20, 2020:

And we put that stuff on our toast. And you don't really want to know how it's really made in the hive.

It's easier wearing a kilt, I guess?[agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

I have 3 kilts and it does make it much easier. And no zipper to catch anything in either.

Tastes like karma

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2021:

True karma would be her at the prosecution table and winning.

So once again a prominent anti-vaxxer couple have died a few days apart.

EricJones comments on Sep 21, 2021:

Stupidity has a tendency to eliminate itself from the gene pool.

This is known as one of medicine’s most incredible moments.

EricJones comments on Sep 23, 2021:

In the last 43 years that I've worked in hospital pharmacy I've seen so many advances that have saved so many lives and allowed so many people to live normal lives that would have otherwise died just a few years before. I hope to live long enough to see what the next 40 years produce.

Wait until he gets his claws in him!

EricJones comments on Oct 3, 2021:

That cat's name wouldn't happen to be Jack would it?

Me shouting in front of Tom's house: Tom, coming out to play?

EricJones comments on Mar 18, 2022:

The good old days. First place you went was to the playground, then to the ball field because your baseball glove always hung on your handlebars and there was always a game going on.

See the difference?

EricJones comments on Mar 18, 2022:

Being the president can age you in a hurry.

Something they need to plan for

EricJones comments on Mar 19, 2022:

The car won't be the only thing getting a charge.

amen lord god

EricJones comments on Apr 2, 2022:

I much prefer a claymore, but I guess whatever you have handy will do.

Bad idea...

EricJones comments on Apr 3, 2022:

Talk about a dry hole, plus all that digging-I'd be too tired.

I suffered through church for 90 years for this?

EricJones comments on Apr 3, 2022:

True-heaven is supposed to be paradise, perfect in every way-how boring.

I was hoping to take some leftovers from the party, but my plans were foiled.

EricJones comments on Apr 5, 2022:

Curses, foiled again said the twice baked potato.

So true, so true!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 6, 2022:

The older I get the more this applies.

This is what happened

EricJones comments on May 14, 2022:

Instead of the golden calf they worship the golden moron.

I was that nerd

EricJones comments on May 14, 2022:

He who laughs last...

The sum of it for me…

EricJones comments on May 16, 2022:

Typical religion salesperson-does not know a damn thing about the product he's pushing on others. Ignorance is bliss and they are a blissed out bunch.

He was an engineering student from Georgia

EricJones comments on Jul 1, 2022:

An elevator for the claustrophobic crowd.

For a morning hug

EricJones comments on Jul 1, 2022:

Guys-don't forget to pick this thing up before you go, because if you miss-even a little-you'll spend the rest of your life peeing out your nose.

That was one hell of a class

EricJones comments on Sep 21, 2022:

The tutors name wasn't Timmy Leary was it?

Makes ya wonder.

EricJones comments on Sep 26, 2022:

Virgin births were a dime a dozen in that area in that era-so who knows how many virgins the great sky fairy nailed.

Seems to happen every festival season

EricJones comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I hope there are a few extra rolls in there because it's gonna take a lot of wiping to get that asshole clean.

“Poverty is not an accident.

EricJones comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Why worry about the poor when giving tax cuts to the wealthy is far more important. After all, who gives more money to members of congress? And the people who make the laws are loaded and set for life so poverty has no bearing on their lives, so why should they care.

Totally missed by the Bible

EricJones comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Every civilization in that era had gods knocking up virgins, they were a dime a dozen. And they all bore children that were super humans. Christians are just to stupid to accept the truth that they're stupid enough to believe a fairy tale.

School must have been interesting.

EricJones comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Maybe now somebody will get that pothole fixed.