Gentlemen, I will say it once, this means "NO"

EricJones comments on Mar 11, 2021:

Her daily yoga workouts must be something else.

Nothing worse than a scratchy LP.

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Going hip-hop dj are we?

Hard to believe they don't notice.

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

And people wonder I like to drive.

Mariokart

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

How are they going to get a tow truck in there to get that back upright?

It's easier wearing a kilt, I guess?[agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

I have 3 kilts and it does make it much easier. And no zipper to catch anything in either.

Arthur was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good ...

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Then how does she explain the little slug of wine to wash down that cardboard wafer?

Ray Bradbury Fahrenheit 451

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Add independent local newspapers to that statement.

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

EricJones comments on Mar 7, 2021:

Can't argue with that.

It is my pleasure to welcome @saliq12384 and @Stephanie1961 to "Introverts Unite!" We're happy to ...

EricJones comments on Dec 28, 2020:

I work in a hospital pharmacy clean room and every once in a while I get a mask-just like the one in the picture-that is missing an ear loop and the first words out of my mouth are "save this one for Vinnie."

I came, I saw but I couldn't figure this out. Can you?

EricJones comments on Dec 28, 2020:

There are some questions I just don't want to ask.

Where the answer is better than the question! :-D

EricJones comments on Dec 13, 2020:

It's not hard to ask, things only get hard after you ask.

This is hilarious love it

EricJones comments on Dec 13, 2020:

Maybe sending thoughts and prayers will work.

Don't cut in line.

EricJones comments on Apr 24, 2020:

Never underestimate us old farts and our private shopping hour.

From the shallow end of the pool?

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

That's gonna take a long time.

Yup accurate

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

And closing one beach bum at a time.

Yeah where is it

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Oval office? Anything to keep him off twitter.

Oops pissed off monk

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

The truck's bigger than he is-I don't thinking he's gonna win that battle.

Wrong answer

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Always think before you speak.

Isn't this true?

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

They're getting better.

Oops funny

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

It took him that long to figurer that out???

Oh oh stop eating

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

He ate the trees right to the ground.

2020 gynecologist visits....

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Video visits have taken off like a rocket. My hospital network (20 some hospitals and hundreds of doctor offices) got a video visits up and running in about a week.

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Put sharp objects on the ends and make it spin so everyone knows you mean business.

MeToo.......

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Mess with the virus-the virus mess with you.

See! It could be worse.

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

She has to wash for a full minute.

I hear Canada is getting warmer maybe I should emigrate....

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

I like them all, but #3 is too true.

When Karen calls 911...

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

Is Karen blonde?

Well that's disturbing.

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

He spent too much time in space by himself.

Accurate for most days.

EricJones comments on Apr 23, 2020:

I wish I could do that-I still have too work.

Might have to lay off members of congress. That's bad.

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

And the cabinet- get rid of them too.

Well did he?

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

They should be the first words out of his mouth every day.

😊 Oh, what a feeling!

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

No wonder my mornings all suck.

Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation than a proper bringing-up, a sound set of values - and ...

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

Like being on a diet and putting a webcam on the fridge.

Your sign says no but your PPE says yes

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

He failed a few tests in his time...

Got to have fun.

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

If you don't offend somebody you're not doing your job right.

I started with number 4 and I'm now a 1. And you?

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

#3 but no coffee bar (hot chocolate bar instead) and lots of little dogs (and cats).

Even the damn food is getting more action than me.

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

Here I thought tomatoes grew on vines.

difference in food choices

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

Really...

Follow me for more quarantine recipes

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

Just like Irish tea.

Monkey business [agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

That's why you should rush home before she hangs up.

the look... [agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

My girls are cats too (although the dogs would argue that) and all they do is swat at whatever moves on the screen.

Do you have any?

EricJones comments on Apr 22, 2020:

Shows how advertising can manipulate people.

Lucky you if you look like this only when you wake up.

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Looks like me when I get out of work at night.

Quarantine is not going well.

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

I understand there's a lot of that going around.

Lovely.....

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

I think the word fat explains a lot.

Just about everyone

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

And the year's not even half over yet.

You too lol

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

That explains why the shelves were empty.

I agree with the Captain...

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

The alarm clock is the cattle prod up the a--, then it gets worse.

He's the best kind of Curry!

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Boy -he's expensive. But it's cute.

Florida neme

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

No-stupid people who will become dead people.

Stop and think about this

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

That or you've spent too much time watching game of thrones.

street [agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

English teacher on his off hours.

Good to know

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Ahhh yup-that's about right.

Not suggesting anything.

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

US national highland games are held the end of september every year about 20 miles from me and the caber toss always has a huge crowd. The first night they have a demonstration challenge caber toss- thinner and lighter ( about 125 lbs. the real one goes around 170 +/- lbs) caber and it's not only end over but also for distance. And they make it fly.

Find your destination

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Cute, sad, but cute.

Looks handy

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Damn-that's genius

Delusional nitwits

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

A little lockdown now beats a long summer lockdown.

Yeah eats better than him

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Sounds like me talking to my cats.

The cats have worked it out even if we haven’t

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Says the black cat sitting outside the window while the other two are inside. And he's also right.

Watch that first step down, it's a doozy!

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

From the looks of the wood under the door the steps that used to be there may have rotted out. I'll bet that was a fun ride.

Listen to darwin

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

When those idiots get sick I'm bolting the hospitals doors shut and they can suffer on the sidewalk. I'm saving my dwindling resources for those who really need them.

Always happens

EricJones comments on Apr 21, 2020:

Wear a nice shirt, sit close to the camera, make sure there are no mirrors behind you and nobody will see the bunny slippers and no pants.

Hilarious Bloopers From Classic Films [digg.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 20, 2020:

It hasn't changed in all the years-actors screw up their lines and we still laugh as much as they do.

[agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 20, 2020:

Looks like he got part of 3 too.

Not the normal intermission.... But intermission from all the crap in the world.

EricJones comments on Apr 20, 2020:

And we put that stuff on our toast. And you don't really want to know how it's really made in the hive.

With great wealth comes a complete lack of responsibility...

EricJones comments on Apr 20, 2020:

Ya'll were expecting any of those bozo's to cough up any of their ill gotten gains? They are lying through their teeth to get other peoples money. Swindle, fraud, con artist-whatever you want to call it-they should all be in jail.

Helpful tip!

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

That shirt came out in a hurry. I wonder what other novelty items have suddenly appeared in the last few weeks-and how much money is being made on their sales..

Ah, the good ole days...

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Works for me.

Checkmate!

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Nah-just Karma.

I think he forgot something.

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

He forgot that the bathroom has a mirror.

The suffering is real.

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

I don't wanna see what Tammy Fae Baker would look like...

Truth......

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Is that posted in Louisiana?

But why?....

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Mine's on the side porch, next to the door so I don't care.

Oops.

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Where's the acorn and Manny, Sid and the rest of the gang.

Greetings from Smudge. Meow

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Must be his day off.

All these concerts and festivals canceled. We have to hold our own. Wait what?😧😄

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

I like festivals but I think I'll pass on this one.

My latest troll meme....

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

So that's where they hangout.

Pretty much, lol

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Stuck indoors all winter and now that it's spring and nice outside-still stuck indoors.

Never thought of it that way but....

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Really.

Marco Polo

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

I wonder why...

Passing the pepper with social distancing ...[youtube.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

This is right out of the Rube Goldberg play book.

Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. I asked: “What are you doing?

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Funny

[facebook.com] Boys will be boys

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Every action movie cliche ever made all rolled up in one clip-funny.

Gotta do your pushups... [twitter.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

My dogs (and cats for that matter) just lie down underneath me and I end up doing a plank pose. But it's still cute.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. - T. S. Eliot

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

I say that to people younger than me and they think I'm crazy. I've always pushed myself both mentally and physically and I've not hit the end yet.

Don't get behind me, Satan!

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

I'm more worried about a priest being behind me.

Good idea

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

2 questions-does it hold hot chocolate for those cold winter nights and does she come with it?

Oops wrong sock

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

That's why you use the odd sock that has no match.

Oh oh no

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

They won't have any problems with social distancing-nobody will want to be within 100 yards of them.

There is a new fashion

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Odd looking tan lines.

[agnostic.com]

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

If it was that much water I'd have a long night getting up every hour or so to pee.

Doing his own makeup now

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

That is too much.....

Yup thats him

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

It's the only way to find out what's gonna happen.

Familiar yet

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Some of my co-workers and every day.

Believe that

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

He broke his own rules-hope they all get sick.

I'm just going to leave this one here.😂

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Post this on the church door and print it in all the newspapers.

HEY you guys, I’m next… Please..!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Ain't it the truth.

I won't even try to explain this, but it is photography!

EricJones comments on Apr 19, 2020:

Soap bubble? If it is it's a good shot.

We Are Living In the Age of Sweatpants and Never Going Back.

EricJones comments on Apr 18, 2020:

I've been wearing sweat pants for years to run errands. All the stores care about is my money-not how I'm dressed.

COVID-19 : My house now...and how I'd like it to be!

EricJones comments on Apr 18, 2020:

Less mess to clean up at the end of the day....