This is a thing!

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I wanna use the real one before I flush.

Apparently.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Building bulldozer henge? That's one operator with soiled underwear.

That's not good.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

The greatest advance in medicine-eat right and get off your ass.

....or any owner of an iPhone.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

This is true.

Kids are never happy....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Somebody doesn't know their character genders.

What is your major malfunction....?

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

For all the advanced technology he is made from; they couldn't set up a simple breathing tube?

Something, something, something, something.....Marilyn Monroe.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Billy Joel actually wrote that song to highlight the history he lived through.

So mysterious.....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

This is science for the really stupid who want to remain really stupid.

It really is....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Kid should answer the phone when it's a telemarketer.

When food is life.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Instant food coma

So polite he is

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

That's cute.

My sins have cost me a weekend, too......

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

My sinning on the weekend usually costs Monday.

Now you sea it!

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Never drive your car into water because the road may be washed out.

Lol agree or disagree?

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Discretion is the better part of keeping your wife from killing you.

sounds like last Friday

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Nobody said the drink was a pitcher for each.

I doodle. Is it a meme?

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I stay awake all night, but not really by choice-that's why I can't wait to retire.

Triangle. Giant 3D Triangles.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

And all the tourist dollars they'll bring in.

Welp. That would do it.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

We talk about this stuff at work from time to time, and it was over the counter at one time. I use these labels when I try to teach apothecary math, makes metric easy.

OMG a second coming …AND he wants a JOB!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Give him an imaginary job with a real paycheck, cash it for him and keep the money in a co-account (you and him) .Just tell everyone you're holding it for him till he takes it out.

Silence...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Einstein didn't come up with his theories in noisy rooms. And he hasn't been proven wrong yet.

Saving our planet, lifting people out of poverty, advancing economic growth .

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

He understood the riddle and how to solve the puzzle. If only the leaders of the biggest countries on this planet would listen to him instead of padding their pockets and staying in power.

Some parts are crispier than others.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Some days I sound like a bowl of rice crispies and I ain't left the bedroom yet.

Time now flies even when I am not having fun!!

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Yea, really. And it's in the later rounds.

You wanna fight or you wanna _____? Fill in the blank...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

That's one fancy selfie stick.

Another challenge for Jehovah’s Witnesses

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Tell them to wear red baggy clothing and try to convert the ones with horns.

I love enthusiasm!

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I wonder what she's like when the bottles empty.

At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the ...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Cute, hang that right on the front door.

Today's cheese .... 🧀🧀 with extra cheese🧀🧀🧀🧀

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Cheesy they are, but that's a beautiful dog.

More than I thought.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Depends what country you go to-try and get one with a good exchange rate to the dollar and no tariffs.

Protect yourself.....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Won't work-the vital organs are higher up.

It's a quandry...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Christianity didn't begin until after her kid was executed, so she's in the clear. Besides, god told her it can't happen the first time you do it.

Purrr Purr Kill

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

I have one like that; I can pet her for about 10 minutes, then- with no warning- it's game over.

Babyproof ...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Ears-he can still grab the ears.

Hey guys, before I came on this site I am a hundred % believer, as the time goes by and read most of...

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Spread the word to your countrymen and you could start a revolution.

Kitten in a sporan.

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

He looks like he's been in there too long. And that's a formal dress sporran, you wouldn't wear that into battle.

I was swayed.....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Or if they were bad they can just start spinning and bore down to hell.

Also agnostic.com

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Reality-what a novel concept.

A cross over meme....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Don't piss off the wrong people.

Life goals....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

At least they'll still recognize you at the reunions.

Power to the people ✊🏼

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Every revolutionary has to start someplace.

When life gives you frogs .... have frog legs for dinner....

EricJones comments on Jun 2, 2019:

At least his day too day attitude is consistent.

Hmmmm......

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

And don't forget the padded push-up bra, that always helps too. Better idea-wear a baggy shirt and go where the nice guys are. Dress like a hooker, get treated like a hooker.

My wife sent me....

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

I think she's on to something.

I'm sure the Fire Department is ok with candles on the stairs.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

And that's a public building too. But from the looks of them, I think they're led candles.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear...

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

She's so right. I used to be a volunteer firefighter and when you overcome the fear of running into a burning building a lot of other things aren't so scary.

And on the 8th day, god created the remmington bolt-action rifle.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

And each other.

"Actions are held to be good or bad, not on their own merits, but according to who does them.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Up until the end of WW2 it was the war department. Then the name was changed to the dept of defense.

I am sure we could come up with better rules, but this was cute.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

You come into this world wearing diapers and you leave it wearing diapers.

How creative:

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

From the greeting I get at the door when I get home, I'm surprised my dogs and cats don't print something like that.

If you want a great ball player...

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

If the puck comes up off the ice and hits him in the wrong place, itching will be the least of his problems.

I hate all politics, I don’t like either political party.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Look at Washington today and the last sentence speaks volumes

Perform an abortion in Alabama and you get 99 years in prison.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

He's trying to deflect the attention away from what he and his fellow priests have done to children. But when a priest gets a woman (usually a nun) pregnant, they almost always demand she get an abortion, and the church pays for it. I think the church has a small problem with it's own morals and ethics.

Well that could be a show stopper! 🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Ooohh, that's gonna hurt....

Erectile dysfunction🤣😂

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Is that where the term Mr softie came from?

Did you know...

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Smart kitten, and cute too.

This would work for Jehovah's too.

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

I just take off my shirt and wrap a large towel around my waist so they can't see my legs (I'm usually wearing sweats or running shorts) and they usually shriek and run like hell.

Know a couple like this?

EricJones comments on Jun 1, 2019:

And they said it wouldn't last...Actually my ex girlfriend was like that-wanted everything done for her and everything given to her. That's why she's my ex.

"The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its ...

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

Sounds like the crusades; force everybody to obey a peaceful loving god under threat of death.

Read this..

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

I thought that's what this group was all about...

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. - Charles M. Schulz

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

Very true.

Remember, you’re not losing hair; but gaining face...!

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

Then I've got one hellava big face. And my rabbits aren't marching backwards-it's a full on sprint. :(

Stay lazy.

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

No problem-I don't like heights anyway.

little suzie

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

Religion and sex ed at the same time.

So true, like a squirrel dodging us thinking we are a predictor as we swerve to avoid it ...

EricJones comments on May 31, 2019:

Or we see them as we want them to bee.

If only more youngsters thought like Hitch maybe the church would choose their words more ...

EricJones comments on May 30, 2019:

Was Hitchens catholic???

I think my favorite quote is this A moment's Insight is sometimes worth a life's experience ...

EricJones comments on May 30, 2019:

Sometimes that's what all it comes down to.

"We travel together, passengers on a little space ship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air ...

EricJones comments on May 30, 2019:

Some people put wealth and power above all else; even if it means the destruction of this planet. To them the future is nothing-all they care about is themselves and today.

True friendship is like good health; the true value of it is seldom known until it is ...

EricJones comments on May 30, 2019:

Very true.

Damn right!

EricJones comments on May 29, 2019:

I'll buy that.

And the air force has apparently sighted one incoming!

EricJones comments on May 29, 2019:

Kids are kids no matter where they come from.

If there was one thing that should make anyone doubt God exists it would be Televangelists.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Televangelists and their big fat bank accounts.

21 mountain climbers have died on Himalayan peaks in the last month.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Give everybody a wing suit and a parachute. You climb up but have to jump to get down. Should keep the line moving. It's like the pyramids in Egypt, look behind them and you see a large parking lot and the city of Giza. Everest is no different. The climbing window is very small and hundreds of climbers try to make it to the top every season. The place becomes a small city.

The Florida heat wave: The fan I bought yesterday melted as soon as I got it out of the store!

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Do they take returns?

Church signs

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Do these people ever proof-read???? Or are they just that sexually repressed.

I'd hit that! lol

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

As long as it splattered, he'd hit it.

America will never be destroyed from the outside.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

It's taken about 150 years, but it's starting to happen.

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

I hope he has good insurance, cause she's gonna leave a mark.

Who else can relate to this? Or has a doggy with social anxiety (aka fear of being left alone)?

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Along with my dogs, a couple of my cats do that too.

There’s one perspective on life I haven’t heard

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

I work in the basement- 8-9 feet underground. I've spent most of my life below the grass.

If he’s twice as strong as he looks, he’s still going to be pancaked and Tuesday is canceled…

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Atn't gravity a bitch.

Laundry day

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

"This humidity is killing me"

Then time went away.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

Where I work lunchtime sure seems like an illusion.

Marvin is my hero.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

They were fun books.

Not a popular deity and I don't known why.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

He's busy with all the tits and wine himself.

Universal question.

EricJones comments on May 28, 2019:

As far as this country is concerned right now-it's the imbeciles by a landslide.

I find that highly insulting… How can anyone allow the lovely miss Piggy to be compared to that ...

EricJones comments on May 27, 2019:

Finally, she's telling the truth.

I don’t know why I posted this...lol

EricJones comments on May 27, 2019:

ooooooohhh boy

Terrifying!

EricJones comments on May 27, 2019:

Look out Canada, here I come.

Say what??

EricJones comments on May 27, 2019:

No-I just changed my font size.

Have you tested your airbags lately?

EricJones comments on May 27, 2019:

I wouldn't be this close if you would drive faster.

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to ...

EricJones comments on May 26, 2019:

He wasn't listening to some of todays music, thats for sure.

You have my gratitude, though.

EricJones comments on May 26, 2019:

I work in a hospital pharmacy and I know a lot of professionals who are in a veeery deep hole.

It happens to most of us at some stage, we start out with the very best of intentions but somehow ...

EricJones comments on May 26, 2019:

Nobody will notice if you don't take over the earth for a few days.

I wonder what all this about.... Oh wait she has wine...

EricJones comments on May 25, 2019:

That box looks barely big enough for two, and if it's a little tight-all the better

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

EricJones comments on May 23, 2019:

Works for me.

Orange is not my color, so I wanna be the driver 🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on May 23, 2019:

To make it more fun-do it on black Friday, just before the doors open.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel

EricJones comments on May 23, 2019:

You're as old as you feel is a very true statement. Keep active and take care of yourself and you will age much slower.

The joke below reminds me of the farting dog story by James Heriot.

EricJones comments on May 22, 2019:

I wonder if she's related to "Rip" van winkle.

In Russia, face slapping contests! (73 seconds) [youtube.com]

EricJones comments on May 22, 2019:

These guys are sick puppies.

Plain truth about a cock..

EricJones comments on May 22, 2019:

Ain't it the truth...