And then there is that statue decoration angle...

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

That's why I keep my bed sheets tucked in.

VP pick? ☠️💩🤡

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

Donnie boy wants to create a dynasty so he picked a younger version of himself.

Thanks to the life saving efforts of the Mr Potato Head accessory team trump has a new ear

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

Well, the inside of his head is a potato, so it seems like a good idea to me.

It hurt my feelings

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

Well, that relationship just came to a crashing end.

Hotel California?

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

After woodstock, wavy gravy went into the flooring business

You know anyone would be interested?

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

Depends what you're doing, it might get in the way.

The original....

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

The milkman brought me. My mom married the milkman.

From the New Yorker: “And, again, sir, I’m so sorry that I called you America’s Hitler, and...

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

That should scare the living hell out of a lot of people.

After 3 straight days of the heat index over 105+ degrees I can totally relate to this

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

I know that feeling. I keep drinking water and juice and it all comes out through my skin.

She's hiring cheap hit men these days.....

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

Melania must be pissed-promising that kid 20% of the will and he can't shoot straight.

The RNC met today, it looks like they have no morals, they nominated an adjudicated rapist, ...

EricJones comments on Jul 16, 2024:

I keep having a scary thought-the old phrase "nice guys finish last".

I haven't laughed like this in a long time!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Jul 14, 2024:

Any trained sniper will tell you aim for the torso, much larger target- harder to miss. In this case, it's like shooting a cow, tiny head-huge body.

Can I just attach a separate sheet with all my meds?

EricJones comments on Jul 14, 2024:

My late girlfriends family really put the fun in dysfunctional. Rednecks worshiped them as gods.

Men only want one thing. Rascals

EricJones comments on Jul 14, 2024:

I think that date ended in a hurry, and not on a happy note.

Does it make a difference?

EricJones comments on Jul 13, 2024:

So they didn't use any dinosaurs from Jurassic park.

So, there you have it...

EricJones comments on Jul 13, 2024:

When people ask me how I am, I like to say "the voices in my head say we are fine today". They usually leave me alone after that.

The worst advice I ever got

EricJones comments on Jul 13, 2024:

They should have included the "you also need to exercise" clause in that statement.

I don't know i would cuddle with her too!

EricJones comments on Jul 13, 2024:

Is that a dangerous blond joke?

If god made man in his own image ...

EricJones comments on Jul 13, 2024:

When pope frankie kicks off, they should make Guido pope. They really need to liven the place up and I think he's just the guy to do it.

...you can never be too careful !

EricJones comments on Jul 12, 2024:

I've got vines in my backyard with thorns like that.

Guy who flunked basic science…

EricJones comments on Jul 12, 2024:

Somebody throw him in a car and tell him you're going to drive him to the edge and throw him off. See how long it takes him to catch on, if ever.

I know...I'll let myself out

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

I'm getting me a bunch of baguettes and heading for that factory-I love brie. Love the pun too.

is this normal for liberals....

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Sounds like donnie boy is getting his dirty laundry aired out.

Is it really the same?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Instead of shit on a shingle, is that fart on a shingle?

Carbon dating

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Is that museum match .com??

Arizona here anyone?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

My late girlfriend never used her upstairs except for storage. I'm cleaning the place out and a few weeks ago I found a bunch of candles that had melted together.

Will the house sell?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

If you can find a matching asshole you're good to go.

A noble goal

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Usually I laugh so I guess I must be disturbed.

Behold the field…

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0

🤦🏼‍♀️I can’t believe we’re still talking about the felon who should be in prison…

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Don't put him in the kitchen, he'll eat all the food and the inmates will starve.

It didn't come with a warning

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Good luck explaining the bruise.

Some South Dakota voter is not happy with Kristin Noem saying she would kill a dog

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Take her to the spca, smear her with beef fat, stake her to the floor and open all the cages.

The judge has been trying hard

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Trying too hard.

We are almost there! No wait!

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I love the MC Escher slinky.

America is for Americans, not immigrants

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Why did they photo shop out trumps belly??? Just so they could see bannon? Hell, he's already at camp fed for the summer.

will you watch it?

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I think I've got other plans-like watching paint dry.

Campaigning hard to get black votes

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I think he's taken that comb over a bit too far.

Short Monday for me!!! 😊😊😊

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Tucson is an suv-it doesn't have a trunk, and if it's giving off an odor-it ain't perfect anymore.

I'm with you, mate. 😎

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I'm using my hedge trimmers really hard in my late girlfriends yard (about 2 hours a session-her yard was really overgrown) and when I'm done give the blades a spray. Use it all over the place.

Tit for tat price war.

EricJones comments on Jul 8, 2024:

I'm 90 miles west of new york city and this heat wave is brutal, so I can really relate to the bra, shakespeare and the ice machine.

When a Russian troll tells me that they are winning....

EricJones comments on Jul 8, 2024:

Fighting against a free and honest press is a war that can't be won.

Relationships between the sexes

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

Somebody needs a bath. Somebody needs a food taster Too many chores to do,doing nothing just makes the hole deeper. Only until they get a restraining order and you have to stay 1000 feet away. One wrong word and the moment was all shot to hell. Sounds like somebody's ex is getting raked over the internet coals. Swiping so hard on tinder that your touch screen is wearing out? Not all of us guys are born with a big weeny.

Yeah, not a party girl…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

If that girl has a phone in her bedroom, I want her number. I'll give her a call.

For past 10 years at least…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

I wish. I've got an army of dogs, cats and birds and everybody wants to go out, get petted, fed-whatever. I can be 5 or 6 hours till I get to that point.

Don't honk your horn at this one...

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

It took me a minute but I got it.

This is why I avoid the pool…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

The dating pool after 60 is even worse.

Why didn’t I think of this?

EricJones comments on Jul 6, 2024:

Well, I guess that is one solution to the problem, a bit extreme maybe.

EricJones comments on Jul 6, 2024:

Pass

Not so stupid after all?

EricJones comments on Jul 5, 2024:

I remember one time a guy used a lifeline on the last question to call his father to tell him that he (the son) was about to become a millionaire and then nailed the last question.

@Parryhotter is an old member in need of help to recover his levels, I will be out of pocket and ...

EricJones comments on Jul 5, 2024:

Beaker!!!!

Happy Fourth of July, no these are not related

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

I have a few kitties on my porch now who look like that one.They were romping in the back yard and a storm hit and began to rain and they got caught in it.

Had to take a couple of mental health days but feeling better!!!

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

I'd stay away from the tylenol hard seltzer. Between the tylenol and the alcohol, your liver is gonna be toast. I should go to the kitty rave, maybe some of mine are there.

Not much to ask

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

Do they make any that will hold that much weight????

Saving a buck or two on encryption software.

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

These are really good.

The survey said...

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

Any sub that's less than 6 inches is just a short baguette with mayo oozing out the end.

It all depends on how you pose your model...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

I'm cleaning out my late girlfriends house and I threw out one of those organs. Had I known about that book I would have kept the organ and entertained her neighborhood.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In his first official act since the Supreme Court granted him ...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

Wouldn't that be a kick in the balls for the court. Setting the table for trump and the republicans for a conservative dictatorship and having a democrat beat them to the punch.

BREAKING: Hunter Biden hits Fox News with a massive lawsuit for breaking New York's revenge porn law...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

Hope he buries them so deep they're never heard from again.

Drat foiled again...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

My cats try to do that too but then they find out I'm vegetarian.

Or at least more than a fucking politician....

EricJones comments on Jun 30, 2024:

I used to say at work-many pro athletes make more in a game than I made in a year, and if they got hurt and came to my hospital I had to make sure that their iv solutions were correct everytime.

Food on the table

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

At least we know she knows how to "cook".

That's what I thought one time

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

With more and more people eating healthy these days, it just might be possible.

That look on his face.

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

That damn bear is getting more action than me.

I aim to please..

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

If it fits the theme of the room, that's not a bad idea

I can't un see this...

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

Tape measures sure have come a long way since I first picked one up.

🤔yeah ok 😂🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

That dummy isn't helping elevate the dumb blond image out of the gutter.

Anyone bored?

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

I wanna connect with the dots.

Did you watch it?

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

There has to be more than five.

I think he should go to hydraulics anonymous

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

He needs a bumper sticker that says that and his rear bumper looks big enough for it.

Remember to save some for the bigger celebration!

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

Hopefully trump will join bannon and they can both get the wall they wanted and find out what it really feels like to be behind a wall that keeps you from freedom

What he should be wearing!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

And everybody came down on Anita Hill like a ton of bricks for what she had to say about him.

What's in the box?

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

Pandora's box-what all the greek gods want to open for themselves

That goes to the non believers too. They are not your friend.

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

How about they just settle for maybe and call it even?

Always read the small print.

EricJones comments on Jun 24, 2024:

Always question when the prices seem too good to be true.

Historical fact...

EricJones comments on Jun 24, 2024:

And by the next day he had a full voice mail box for insurance, political bs, new siding, new windows, a new roof, and a Nigerian princess wanting his bank account number so she could deposit his lottery winnings.

Newly married

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

I don't think that's going to help increase the resale value of that house.

Look how he mixes the reds with the blacks for spice! And that guy is a bird flu carrier if I ever ...

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

That's one good thing about sex after 50 something-putting std's aside-nobody's getting pregnant.

Yea for sure!

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

Sounds more like where I used to work.

Well, she WAS under oath to tell the whole truth.

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

If all those exotic meats taste like chicken-just how do you know it's not chicken and the staff is pulling a fast one by telling you that it's some exotic food.

When a quest sounds fishy. 😆

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

Just admit it-the rent's overdue and you ain't got the green.

Dog has spoken....

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

Republicans want the 10 commandments put in schools, courtrooms and anywhere else they can think of. And yet the party leader that they worship like a god has destroyed probably half of them.

Hey, it worked for us boomers.

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

That's not a gen x shelter, it's a baby boomer shelter.

This guy shared his date experience. 🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

He spent so much time worrying about his thumb, I wonder if he ever got a second date.

Some memes just write themselves because anyone with a couple of functional neurons between their ...

EricJones comments on Jun 21, 2024:

One more little tidbit, Sect. Clinton won the popular vote by roughly 3 million votes, she lost because of the electoral collage.

Follow me for more tips…

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

I would like to put this guy and Dr. Spock in a room together and let them have it out.

Yea i know what the bee's mean!

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Honey is, when you get down to it, bee barf. So I don't think either one has a leg to stand on.

Don't really care about the likes, but do like showing off my little ass.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Cute little bugger, but I don't think that's the kind of ass they had in mind.

Good call.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Cheapest ride home they'll ever get.

A good question.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Just put a cross on the drag building and hang a sign that says "drag queens for jesus" and everything will be fine.

Hell yeah let's trade Republicans for whores!.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Another good reason to keep trump out of the white house-he'll want to sample them make sure they are who they say they are.

Todays' News

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

One thing she did wrong- the under shirt should be straight across, not a plunging " V" neck. Cute though.

He used to have good pick up lines

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

I guess that's one way of getting yourself killed.

A gun for every ass - MAGA style

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

It should be pointed inward if he wants to blow his brains out

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

I'm with her, but I'd be happy to sit in a coffee shop all day and debate it with her.

Somehow I’m just not hungry anymore…

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

I'd steer away from the po-po platter.

Happy Monday Evening!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

The dick boxing sounds like the nutcracker-painful.

I am attracted to this religion

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

Now that's a good religion.

Just amazing

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

They banned the book how to complete a highway project.

Personalized golf ball.

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

If you can find it that means the shot wasn't that bad. If it was gone for good then that was a really bad shot.

And this is the behavior that followers of Abrahamic religions have emulated for centuries.

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

Those idiot conservatives want to ban books? Why don't they start with the bible because everything they find offensive is in the bible.