Camembert? You gotta be kidding!

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

My cats just use my legs as a scratching post and beat me with their tails.

Financing available. Pay after you make money. Admissions Open!

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

Bit coin mining?

Different strokes

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

I did the best I could, but at my age that's all I had.

Today's Motivational Message

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

I'd rather they need lots of therapy-If you're gonna do it, make it worth the effort.

It's not easy to be a man

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

She has way too much make up around her eyes, makes her look angry and the way she put those 2 things on the table like dessert? Really?

Truth be told

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

Mcdonalds is a heart attack waiting to happen and with all the sodium in their food throw kidney failure into the mix too.

I am going to find her

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

Ok, I'll go with the cooking bit, because I'm not too good around the stove, but after that somebody tell allah to go pound sand.

[youtube.com] Victor Borge-Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

I don't know how many times I've seen this and I laugh every time, and what they did together is amazing

Happy Wednesday!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

With all the cats I have running around the house any yard, I'd need a case of butt plugs and a case of beans. Wears black and avoids people I'm ok with-not so the loud music, I like my hearing. If you eat chunky soup, you can it eat with a fork. (those of us who are a certain age should remember the ad)

We're seeing him unravel!

EricJones comments on Aug 22, 2024:

He's not descending into madness, he's already there.

Be sober coming in and going out

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

That's gonna be a bitch as you age and the knees begin to go'.

Fake everything.

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

6'3" in which direction, front to back or side to side; he's not 215 lbs, he's 215 kilos

Now that Paris has finished the MAGA Olympics have started...

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

Nothing like a redneck cookout. I wonder how many of those she's broken in the last week

Every dog has his day (out)!

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

That's me when I travel with my dogs.

That guy back there washing the dishes has two!

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

Get a Phd and take away a job from some kid who snuck over the southern border.

Out of control! Where is the church I am asking

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

I'll put it where ever she wants it, but I'll just get a quick tube snip because my aim isn't the greatest.

Who needs enemies?

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

I think Seans friends are a little twisted.

Breaking strain of a Mars bar!

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

Ya forgot to name the cleaner

Well, you asked....

EricJones comments on Aug 21, 2024:

The teacher doesn't look like miss piggie per chance does she?

What a weirdo!

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

I don't think he's weird-I think he's a pervert. There's a difference.

DNC convention starts…

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

If you look at press photos of the rallies, the trump rallies are as white as hospital bed sheets, the Biden and now Harris rallies are multi racial.

Your guess is as good as mine. ;)

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

I think it would be easier if they just installed individual rooms.

Good idea. :)

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

I just answer the door in my skivvies, makes for extremely short conversations.

Thanks Ma!

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

Mom's having that very special mother-daughter talk.

What was he thinking???

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

Love finding Kentucky. The guy in the crate sounds like a redneck shotgun wedding in any southern state, not just florida.

Geese and Ganders?

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

At least he picked the one he liked the best

Sounds about right to me!

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

She'd look at me and say "I'm sorry, but nobody is that good".

Today's magic trick...TA-DA!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

Nokia's must be good cameras because they can make cars disappear.

“People generally will accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already ...

EricJones comments on Aug 20, 2024:

Sounds like mental state of trump and his minions.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for few minutes then reboot it, including ...

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

That's why I only get on my electronics a few times a day and have a $10 flip phone. I spend more time unplugged than plugged.

How did he miss it?

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

He had his earbuds turned up too high.

But where are the clowns Send in the clowns Don't bother, they're here

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

They don't belong in a circus, they ARE the circus.

[motherjones.

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

The way republicans have been attacking blacks in general- civil rights, voting rights, housing, education, teaching of black history, just to name a few-I can't see why any person of color would be voting for any republican.

I would love to see this really happen!

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

She's gonna shred his butt.

I agree. He should be safely in jail

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

All he would have is a very sore butt.

You'll see benefits immediately

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

You're gonna get a lot of attention.......

Looks like the rest of his evening is planned out 🚽

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

Quick, see if there's an opening on the schedule for a colonoscopy tomorrow.

Hope you all are having a great Sunday night! 😘😘😘

EricJones comments on Aug 19, 2024:

That's one of the nice things about living alone (not including the fur babies), nobody to walk in on you when you're doing something important.

You're the favorite in one, anyway.

EricJones comments on Aug 18, 2024:

I much prefer prison block bitch.

I’m going to put this here. Then run. Forgive my warped sense of humor

EricJones comments on Aug 18, 2024:

We're all a little warped around here-some more so than others, so don't worry about it.

Always room for improvement.

EricJones comments on Aug 18, 2024:

In college a bunch of us liked to go to the philosophy building to go potty. The "writings on the wall" were usually quite interesting.

New trump doll

EricJones comments on Aug 18, 2024:

I can't figure why he didn't join the army-he could've gone to Viet Nam and ended the war in 24 hours.

FUCKING SLAYER!!!!! 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

EricJones comments on Aug 17, 2024:

Whoever is responsible for the church signs really needs to watch some porn movies and then proofread what they're posting because they are severely repressed. Beer cat is right-the best bars and pubs in europe won't even carry american beers.

More weird… [l.facebook.com]

EricJones comments on Aug 17, 2024:

All jd had to do is go to the local rite aid, the eye liner is one aisle over from the condoms, you know, those things you should use to keep from getting semen stains on the sofa.

If you can't eat 4 shredded wheat for breakfast try eating 2 and putting 2 on your head like this ...

EricJones comments on Aug 17, 2024:

Can't wait for him to get sent to club fed and they shave the worlds worst comb-over off his head

I love Bette!

EricJones comments on Aug 17, 2024:

Hey Bette-you and Randy Rainbow need to sit down and brainstorm. I think you two could come up with some great anti-trump songs

He doesn't like to be reminded of this.

EricJones comments on Aug 17, 2024:

He also lost his hair, his corset, and more honest rounds of golf than anyone can count.

This works for children too.

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

With 8 shih tzus that I've raised from birth, I've had my share of bit fingers over the years.

Just look, they have wings and everything.

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

I assume Raylene's never heard of the big bang theory.

Pretty sure this won't work this time around....

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

But the Ukrainian troops are already at the front.

It must have heard JD Vance is in town…

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

Hope the springs are good on that vehicle because that couch is gonna be bouncing up and down for a while.

Saluting the flag.... [x.com]

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

I can just hear that guy on the ground-"hurry up and get that thing down, I can't hold it all day

What's good for the Goose is good for the....

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

Insurance will cover Viagra, but not birth control polls.

Whoa Black Betty.....

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

So that's how they came up with the lyrics.

And Mary Kay?

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

My debbie (late girlfriend) used to sell that stuff and as I'm cleaning out the house I'm finding avon everything all over the place. Christmas ornaments, full kitchen place settings for 4 (she wanted 2 kids) aftershave/perfume bottles.

I can relate to that. 😁

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is are you f##king crazy?! The last time we did something like that we spent the next 2 days in bed and another 2 days moving around like the mummy (the original), then 2 more days moving around like Frankenstein's monster before we could move somewhat near normal. So, no way in hell, no, don't even think it.

50% population loves pizza

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Can I be dessert?

Don't say never heard of him

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Where's Brutus when you need him.

Breaking News ............... New Campaign Logo Launched

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Well, trump does weigh as much as a sofa.

People are Flocking to Texas

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

So that's why republicans keep saying all the people in the world are coming to the texas border, which would also explain all the empties in the back alley.

Just my luck...

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

It's like having a can of rustoleum rust away.

That about sums it up

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

And usually in the middle of the night too.

Restaurant reviews from Kursk.... [x.com]

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

First gas station across the border, pull in for a quick top off and don't forget to grab the Michelin guide while you're there

Question: My clock keeps jumping from 4:03 to 4:05.

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

I've always had trouble with turning the clocks back in the fall. At 2 am I turn my clock back an hour, then an hour later it's 2am again so I turn my clock back an hour and on and on it goes. I think it's a stupid idea.

Adversarial medical positions, but both sides are right.

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

A lot of parents video the delivery these days. This is a good collection.

“To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is the first step to ...

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

Somebody should show that to trump and his minions, but they'll have no idea what it means.

It's an excruciating 10 feet walk every day

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I didn't have that option, my job was very hands on so trudge to work i did.

Bob, a 65-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, strolls into the Country Club with a stunning ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

Bob knows a dumb blonde golddigger when he sees one, and the magic words to whisper in her ear.

Pay your bills, Donald

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

When the hole is deep enough he's going to declare bankruptcy-again.

Hi Donny! Sorry to hear that you fell out with me over the COVID 19 thing as we were such good pals ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

The CDC had a branch office in Beijing that trump closed to pay for his tax cuts for the rich. That office could have been able to get a handle on covid and at least given the world a leg up on what was happening.

Their God is so forgiving… I think this is the 111th Commandment in the new king trump Bible ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

The fifth child that he acknowledges having fathered, how many more are out there that the world doesn't know about.

A reasonable request it seems

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I guess they don't want any bang bang rose'

This made me laugh.

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I don't know about greatest, it's not too hard to pick him apart; but biggest liar- he's got that sewn up.

Hmm. If only he had something to block that glare…

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

Like that guy sitting just to his left and slightly in front.

Us vs Him!

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

If that were trump being greeted by girl scouts he'd want them to show him their cookies.

Celine Dion takes down Trump! Cease and desist! [bbc.

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

They should demand a stiff royalty fee from the orange ding dong

Remember this one?? Lock him up!

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

Do you want those words on white bread, with mayo and some hot mustard just for the extra kick in the butt.

Accuracy counts, but so does velocity.

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

It's really a support dog, the artist just dropped a few too many LSD tabs.

And this steering wheel sticking out of my pants is driving me nuts, too. Aaaarrgh

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

He took a Viagra and it's been more than 4 hours and it won't go away on it's own.

Too close to the bone?

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

Balls said the queen, If I had 2 I'd be king. Which made the king laugh, not because he wanted to but because he had to, Which made the queen laugh, not because she had to but because she wanted to.

Hold my beer!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

One of the greatest inventions of the human race, now in the extra super duper size. Available at hardware stores nationwide.

Is it Saturday yet, I'm very, very tired!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

We have those trafficonias in pennsylvania too, they start to sprout around st Patrick's day and die off around thanksgiving.

Typical.....

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

My cats are firm believers in testing the theory of gravity everywhere in the house.

In some ways you feel sorry for him, but in the end his fame will live on for years.

EricJones comments on Aug 8, 2024:

All he had to do is move the uprights up about 2 inches and he would have cleared easily.

almost like Jesus

EricJones comments on Aug 8, 2024:

He needs to die for his own damn sins, because my sins are nowhere near as bad as his.

Went back to work today!

EricJones comments on Aug 7, 2024:

Those princesses ain't gonna be working for disney very long with that kind of attitude

One of the benefits of being retired is not having that happen anymore, but i remember the feeling.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I worked with very sharp objects, hypodermic needles, and everybody just kinda left me alone.

Let's get rowdy.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Wouldn't that picture look interesting on the front page of the newspaper.

Listen to his story

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

He could comb his beard......

You knew anything about this?

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I wonder how the female secret service agent felt about protecting a child molesting, misogynistic, rapist?

Buck buck buckAAAAWW.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

There is a polka song/dance called the chicken dance. They should play and perform it at all his public appearances.

Watching the Olympics all night has led to some neat discoveries on the web. Here are a few

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Truth social should collapse soon, just like every other enterprise he has brought into the world.

Eat Healthy, Exercise. Die anyway

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Richards died long ago, what we see now is an early attempt at an AI android.

Looking all over for my phone just now and finally found it...

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

That's one selfie I don't think I wanna see. That's like my house, put something down and some furball is parked on it.

I need some of these.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I have an easier solution-I don't go

I'm still off from work.....

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

A sugar daddy that don't want no sugar is called a corpse. So she can manifest all she wants-it ain't happening.

Will you enter?

EricJones comments on Aug 5, 2024:

Dante really made a simple concept complicated didn't he. And the church just sucked it right up and made it official canon just to scare people more.

Happy Sunday Morning!!! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 5, 2024:

If you cut your hot dogs in half you could put them on the hamburger buns, I've done it so it can be done. And if you put lots of stuff on your dog and squeeze the roll too tight, the bottom of the dog roll might split openand then you have a mess,.Won't happen if you use a hamburger bun

My cat Leo was having a fit at the kitchen window this morning, usually when he sees another cat.

EricJones comments on Aug 4, 2024:

Somebody gave that squirrel a couple of black eyes.

It took some digging, but they found it.

EricJones comments on Aug 4, 2024:

He's just a big chicken. What I can't figure out is how that little foot can support all that lard?