They got it wrong.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 13, 2018:

My man Mickey don't shiv.

Don’t be that guy

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 14, 2018:

Don't make assumptions, it could be consensual bondage play. You don't know.

Taking a selfie no doubt.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 14, 2018:

That's what you get for not getting consent.

Just discovered that I have a better chance of dating Taylor Swift than I do of dying from Bird ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 14, 2018:

Congratulations on your new relationship!

Survival Tip

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 15, 2018:

Unspoken rule of customer service.

In honor of the Solo movie.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 20, 2018:

"Hope." "Never tell me the odds." "Yub nub!"

Not a meme but y'all know I HAD to get this cd, right? ?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 23, 2018:

Real possums have curves.

You talk shit about me that's one thing, just don't mess with my stash...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 24, 2018:

I mustache you a question...

On a serious note

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 25, 2018:

Helping one group does not immediately preclude the other group from being helped. It's not an either or situation. We are, for the time being, the richest and most powerful nation on earth. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that we can't help both. And if we truly are the great nation so many of us want to believe we are, we will.

Just one of those days

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Man, these sports team fan celebrations are getting out of hand!

Now this I can get into.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 26, 2018:

Needs some pepperoni, at the very least. But otherwise yeah, good couple.

It’s a very simple truth. It’s why I don’t have a personal jet too.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Technically 2 questions.

Should we genetically modify our species?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 27, 2018:

As I understand it, it is difficult to make changes in one area without also generating changes in another. Like an infinitely more complicated rubiks cube. So vanity projects like turning yourself into Captain America or Einstein will likely always be out of reach. However, let's say we solve that particular conundrum and we can get the precise results we want with minimal side effects. The technology and procedures won't be cheap. Outside of specific medical conditions any changes you want to make will be the definition of an elective procedure. Insurance won't cover it. I don't know about you but I can barely afford my share of my regular prescriptions, let alone hundreds of thousands of dollars in out of pocket costs for night vision or any other enhancement. But you know who can? The 1%. So what will happen is a furthering of the class divide as the wealthy make themselves faster, stronger, smarter, resistant to disease, and longer lived. Each generation improving by leaps in bounds over the previous one. Meanwhile everyone else is stuck in the shallow end of the public gene pool, evolving the old fashioned way. If you think there's inequality now, just wait until the wealthy are quantitatively better then us in ways that can be tested and measured. Once we start down this road it will be almost impossible to change course.

Volcano pick-up lines.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 27, 2018:

Is that a pocket of scalding sulfuric gas or are you just happy to see me?

Naughty toothbrush

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 27, 2018:

5 out of 5 dentists agree that I'm going to brush you so hard you'll be weak in handle by the time I'm done.

Considering I've been single as long as I have, this seems probable (let's not read too deep into ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 29, 2018:

I on the other hand have most likely convinced my soulmate to either pursue someone else or stay in their existing relationship.

Never heard of this

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 29, 2018:

Pass.

Would that get rid of your hangover?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jun 30, 2018:

Only in the sense that very little would be left hanging.

Keep busy boys, and FAP to your hearts content

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 2, 2018:

I'm good for the next couple years then.

Get a grip on heat stroke

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Yeah, stroke that heat!

Fun conversations, my wife has some colorful turns of phrase.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 3, 2018:

Your wife sounds like an absolute treasure.

Men, what would you think of a woman if they were forward with you and asked you out on a date.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 4, 2018:

I greatly prefer It when the woman asks. I am not that concerned about being rejected, when it happens you suck it up and move on. But I do worry that if I ask her out, and she's not interested, that I've just made it awkward and uncomfortable for her. I get so concerned about this that I don't even make a move. So if a woman wants to ask me out? By all means ssk away!

It's mostly true ..got me a soft spot for the characters

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 4, 2018:

So far that's only worked the one time. But what a time it was!

I sign I don't need.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 5, 2018:

If it's that big you can't help but evacuate it first.

Remember when doing good for others was repaid by a hitchhiker?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 6, 2018:

...

Remember this?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 7, 2018:

It's the circle of life.

If You Heard 20 Minutes of Moaning...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Conversely, if you here cries of "Yes! Yes! Oh god yes!" That's just me realizing I'm actually off today and don't need to get up after all.

He's fully erect!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 8, 2018:

And that's how I got banned from the Lego Store.

Sorry, can't ask Jesus for midget porn.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 8, 2018:

Ironically, if you believe in Jesus, then you would also believe he knows where the best midget porn is.

Oh just f@;!$n let me die already!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 9, 2018:

Seems legit.

I hadn't thought of it this way:

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 10, 2018:

Dr. Strange met 3 gods and convinced them to leave him the hell alone.

An oldie......

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 10, 2018:

I assume it's Johns first wife and not Yoko.

Ooo caught ya, tag you're it.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 12, 2018:

Not just at night.

I might need it sometime.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 13, 2018:

Doctor: "You're not my supervisor!"

It would be nice once in a while

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 17, 2018:

Far be it from me to say no to a lady.

At least its not just me....

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 17, 2018:

I'll type it in all caps if that helps.

I haven't had any luck on dating sites. Maybe I should give this a shot.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 17, 2018:

I like my building's like I like my women; well built, with a cozy interior and clearly defined emergency exits.

Well shit, I don’t meet any of their criteria. I guess I’ll have to date women. ?‍♀️

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 17, 2018:

I think I'll need to try all the possible permutations of women before I can settle on a preference.

Masterpiece

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 19, 2018:

Why is Shaggy hitting on Daphne?

Yeah, about that...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 21, 2018:

It's that exact attitude that got me banned from the local YMCA.

They're pretty oblivious.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 21, 2018:

Better try another one just to be sure.

Many, many years ago my wife came home from work and said to me, "hey mister?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 22, 2018:

I'm something of a late bloomer in the escapades department but I do have one. I spent a week in Texas earlier this year with a gal I met online. One of the days we were in our underwear and she was working on something in the kitchen and we started getting playful. It was a very fun escalating series of "take that!" flirtations and gropings. After a particularly forceful groping from her she was acting a little smug. So I threw her over my shoulder, carried her into the bedroom, tossed her on the bed and said "Panties. Off!" I'm generally a pretty laid back guy. As rule I don't get demanding or forceful, ever. The look on her face in that moment was worth the trip all by itself. I'll never forget that incredible mix of surprise, submission, and total arousal. I spent the better part of the next hour alternating between eating her out and teasing her with the toys I'd bought her in preparation of the visit. ? Would have gone longer but she's very orally inclined and not having access to my fun bits was driving her nuts. So we spent another hour on more mutually beneficial arrangements. ?

Like salmon spawning. Hahaha!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 22, 2018:

Cock Tease.

I know the feeling

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 23, 2018:

It's worse when they ask that in the bedroom.

Monday morning

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 23, 2018:

A rare picture of OpposingOpossum first thing in the morning.

Lawn and Order

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 23, 2018:

These spin offs are getting ridiculous.

Irony at its best

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 24, 2018:

The other side says "Lacking In"

Stay out of the pastures -- for your own safety.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 24, 2018:

This is why we eat them. To gain their strength.

I'm not the mod, but wanted to remind everyone about chat tonight.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 24, 2018:

Thanks for a fun chat folks!

So that explains it.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 25, 2018:

Maybe this is the true origin of "Once you go black you never go back."

Muahahaha!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 25, 2018:

"I cast furball on the human."

Practice safe sex...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 25, 2018:

And lo, on the 8th day He did create the first fetish!"

01101000 01110100 01110100 01110000 01110011 00111010 00101111 00101111 01110111 01110111 01110111 ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 25, 2018:

I'm both angry and impressed. Kudos.

Hello.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 26, 2018:

Hey there Jenna! Welcome aboard! If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask!

Shower together

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 26, 2018:

You call it trespassing, I call it being a full service hotel.

What a bear hug!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 26, 2018:

When Tom said he wanted to date a bear this isn't what I expected

Lmao...that's not a religion, or is it?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 26, 2018:

... Go on...

Happy Friday! May you all find some 1%.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 27, 2018:

I don't say this often but I'm rather partial to the 1%

Never heard of that country.

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 27, 2018:

I like the sound of that.

When an Alpaca loves .

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 28, 2018:

I think visual aids may be in order. Purely for educational purposes of course.

Gettin It On Mixtape pt II: Electric Boogaloo When @nutrition_nerd asked about music a while back...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 28, 2018:

While I have no problem putting something on if that's what the lady wants, I much prefer the sounds my woman makes to any music when it gets to that point. For me, the music is just distracting. That said, if there has to be music, and I get a say in it, I prefer something with a sense of fun, maybe even funny. https://youtu.be/kCbD8nsxcd8 https://youtu.be/Pn7oEYe4ePc https://youtu.be/nnjV7qIPVsA

Flirting, nailed it!

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 29, 2018:

He is technically correct.

That's a very different message ???

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 29, 2018:

Either way its a useful sign.

Occasional Masturbation?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 29, 2018:

How'd you get my pic...I mean, ha ha! That is very funny and not at all reflective of my habits!

The future....

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 29, 2018:

And that's how I get in trouble with the census bureau.

....do you pray before bed?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 30, 2018:

I also do it during, after, and in the morning. No need to play favorites with the time.

Boy I feel this meme

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 30, 2018:

Everyone kept saying "He'll never last till the primaries", then it was he "He'll never win the nomination", next it was "He'll never beat Hillary", now their saying "He won't get reelected". At every "never" he had about a dozen blunders that would have ended any other politician's career. And he just. Kept. Going. We need to recognize that, for whatever reason, the normal rules of politics and public opinion don't apply here. We can't wait for him to crash and burn, we need to remove him from the car all together. If we just keep watching and waiting, we'll be doing this for another 4 to 12 years.

Skating is more than fun...

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 30, 2018:

I've been misjudging this sport my whole life

I hate autocorrect

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 30, 2018:

I want to duck your mass.

The Squirrels

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 31, 2018:

Clever squirrel.

Threesomes - everyone has an opinion! What is yours?

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 31, 2018:

Caveat: Never done it, would love to try. I think it can be a lot of fun with the right partners, and a clear understanding of the boundaries. Trust and communication are, as always, key. As a heterosexual man I'm more inclined to MFF variety but have no issue with a FMM if that's what my partner wants. Either way, I'd love to see them at the center of all that attention, overwhelmingly with pleasure. I love being in control and would take great joy in directing the action to my partner, or maybe dominating another woman together. ?

My dog at work

JeremyTaylor comments on Jul 31, 2018:

Is it though?

Books are books...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 1, 2018:

I'm okay with this reasoning.

OK folks.

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 1, 2018:

I'm a fan of both nipple clamps and forced orgasms, so I'd likely want to devise various predicaments involving "damned if you do damned if you don't" bondage. :-) Oh, and I'd definitely want her to give the sybian a whirl...or twenty. ;-)

Walmart employees...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 1, 2018:

He's playing the game on an increased difficulty setting.

Muahahaha...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 2, 2018:

And now I'm angry I didn't think of it.

I like rules

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 2, 2018:

Tough, but fair.

This sounds like fun! First, do me, and then do you (if you still have the energy! ?).

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 2, 2018:

I'll be honest I stopped reading after "me" and now I feel just a bit misled. ?

Asking for a friend

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

Finally, someone serious about their health.

Asking for a friend

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

I think we need @NutritionNerd to way in on this.

Gotta love ???

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

So majestic.

Prudes that they are.

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

My previous hotel job felt similarly.

Mormon Worthiness Interviews For those who don’t know, Mormons are required from age 12 forward...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

This explains so much about the behaviours and attitudes of well known mormons like Mitt Romney. It's still disgusting though.

Listen up kids, important guideline, keep this in mind, God is watching

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 3, 2018:

My one friend, whos no longer with us, said that his church had a workshop they called "marital aid". It was for married couples looking for ways to be more open anout their sexual needs. Basically unwinding some of the repression they were holding on to so they could feel comfortable and unashamed in a sexual context. He always liked to describe the pastor running it as very excitable, saying he was bouncing around the room answering questions and offering encouragement. "Remember folks, Jesus wants you to enjoy this! God created you to enjoy this! So just try to imagine that while your going at it that Jesus is right next to the bed cheering you on!"

This says it all, really...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

See also: Anti-Vaxxers, Climate Change Skeptics, Flat Earthers, Most Opinions, & Politics

Meerkats are the new Opossums!

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

Shhh! No one tell OpposingOpossum!

Straight to the point. [youtu.be]

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

Maybe it's to subtle for me, but I can't figure out what he wants.

Sounds like something I would think about

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

I don't think you did that to boost his confidence.

Yah, thanks, me

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

Your first, and most reliable, love.

Oh, humans....

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 4, 2018:

A woman's work is never done.

Sexual Deviants is a GROWER, not a SHOW-ER! ;) We just added our 500th member! Thanks to ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 5, 2018:

Strike up the all nude marching band! We're in the big time now baby!

Good Morning Ladies: Control Kneeling before me while I sat in a chair She spread my legs and ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 5, 2018:

Certainly beats a cold bowl of cereal.

Erotic dreams.

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 5, 2018:

I almost never remember anything about my dreams. A faint impression here, a vague idea there, and that's about it. I'd love to remember more since the state I wake up in most days seems to suggest that they're a lot of fun.

Hmmm, I wonder if that's possible...?

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 5, 2018:

kiss her like her ex is watching ????

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 5, 2018:

#relationshipgoals

Two types of people

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 6, 2018:

*chuckles*

I know this might seem like a odd question for this community, but do you pray and if so what is ...

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 6, 2018:

As an agnostic, I may not worship a deity, but I don't rule out the existence of a power and intelligence greater then my own. I don't think any such entities would be truly comprehensible to us, but that doesn't mean we aren't comprehensible to them. They may or may not be able or willing to help, but in those moments that there is nothing else I can do to affect the outcome I will petition these possibly nonexistent beings for their aid. If that is the only tool left in my box, I'll give it a shot.

The force he had! sucked out of him it was!

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 6, 2018:

That's how I want to go.

Accurate af

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 6, 2018:

You see yourself photographing the mentally ill? What an oddly specific career trajectory.

This is for the ladies poll time on mans facial hair and please give the reason why.

JeremyTaylor comments on Aug 7, 2018:

*sits on the edge of his seat with electric trimmer ready* Whatever. Doesn't matter to me.