What's the difference between having sex with a prostitute, your girlfriend and your wife?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 10, 2023:

Times like that you wonder why get married...

With this I'll call it a night

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 12, 2023:

Where is that vomit emoji you keep promising us?...

State of the nation. People are just trying to feed their families.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Post a picture like that on your city's website and watch how fast they fill in those potholes....

He is not giving up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Yu would think he wood be smart enough to use a burner phone...

Sorry about that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Ahh so sad too bad the front and rear cameras were on.... Both Karma and technology can be bitches these days...

Now that's a game changer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Even if you don't smoke it yourself keep some around for her.... Always think of others it pays!

I used to struggle learning Roman numerals... Until I got to 159. Now it just CLIX

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Many people struggle because some letters stand for more than one number and numbers can be written differently.... CLVIIII, CXXXXCIX

[tiktok.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I just wish I had been afforded the opportunity...

Go Campbell's!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

"Revenge is a dish that is best served cold..." And no it wasn't a Klingon... (Also known as a parody Russian.. Origin of this idiom The phrase revenge is a dish best served cold finds its origins in the mid 1800's from a text written by Eugene Sue called Memoirs of Matilda which was written in French and when directly translated actually reads revenge is good when eaten cold, so the vulgar folks say. “Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold” | What Does It Mean? - 7ESL

When "do it yourself" is the wrong approach. 😏

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

In his defense..... His sister never wore a bra....

Brothers, pay attention!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

I would say who cares?...

Talk about a shitty job....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

The wheels on the bus go.... shit.

That ain't right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2023:

Problem is that people really are that dumb these days...

Kamala Babble

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

...............

Not much has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

............

A lot of times, religion boils down to practicality. And desperation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

Must have heard him wrong....

More public Service announcements for you to use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Tried that on assbook but it backfired and I ended up with almost 4,000 followers in my friends list before I gave up....

The ducks are happy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Well all I can say to that is fuck a duck...

2 for the price of 1...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 24, 2023:

Take the whole box at once and you will know what "blow out" really means....

You will see clearly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

Now that is an ad that will work...

Mine is one of those tough old houses. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 25, 2023:

My house is 101 years old this year....

Poor guy can't catch a break

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 29, 2023:

No wonder those poor guys look so exhausted just lying around all day...

Been in the hospital with my mom since Sunday! Hope everyone is having a good week!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 30, 2023:

Plasma torch.... Then send a bill for repairs to your floor...

I don't give them any more.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

I asked into that but it didn't seem worth the cost of hiring a truck when I didn't have any to transport...

That should turn a few heads. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 2, 2023:

He must be a Karen....

Time to stop at the Gotham Corner Bodega on the way home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

When you are at work in the middle of a busy day and your home is less than 4 blocks from the grocery store....

Never happened to me. cough

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 3, 2023:

I never have to worry about forgetting where I parked my car,.... just my ebike...

We need a positive attitude

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

Sent this to a friend who lives in a city that has roads that keep getting blocked off for repairs yet when reopened seem to have the same potholes as before the street was blocked off.... What can I say a small corrupt town run by Republicans who have lots of money...

Happy Wednesday, hope you all have a great evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 5, 2023:

A Flintstones car....

An AI artist from India named Gokul Pillai created these images of how today's billionaires would ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2023:

Charge them all with racketeering and this vision could become reality...

Your thoughts and prayers are not going waste

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2023:

Gad I would hate to be an altarboy in that church...

Bless her heart!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2023:

Somebody isn't the brightest crayon in the box.... Seems to be one of the least bright ones in fact.

Women should not trust online dating

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2023:

Nobody should trust it... This is your online girlfriend

It is springtime, they are looking for handouts.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTvS9lvRxZ8=MarkRober

Boys helping at home

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2023:

Looks like they need a better clothes washer...

Who would have thunk it...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2023:

Yeah that'll do it every time....

Good Morning!!! Hope everyone has a great day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2023:

Yeah that would be both my cats they are hopeless cases when it comes to catnip...

Separating Facts About Clergy Abuse From Fiction

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 9, 2019:

#1 False #2 It doesn't cause it but it makes it more likely to happen... #3 The only statement in this post that is completely factual... #4 Bullshit they still protect pedophile priests from the law...

Trump got a medal from the saudis in 2017.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 9, 2019:

He only cares about the money he gets from them... McConnell is the same way...

Seen on Facebook

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 19, 2019:

Everybody thinks of it being the Germans in WW1 but it was the Austro Hungarian Empire... This is what happens when conservatives keep making cuts to the educational system...

I know he called it off, but ain't this the truth?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jun 23, 2019:

And ISIS says....

Maybe a few more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Note to self: Next time up the THC dose in the cookies...

Is it just me or do Christian movies always have terrible acting?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2019:

The only thing I like about those crap films is writing reviews on them....

here's an interesting tid bit: Tax rates on the top tax bracket: 1918 77% 1921 73% 1923 56% ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 11, 2019:

Yes and every time you bring it up the GOP claims you are lying...

Here you go, guys!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 17, 2019:

Well you know the old saying...

Really hoping that Hurricane Dorian demolishes all Trump's FL properties this weekend.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2019:

With any luck at all it will demolish the Deep South and they will find out how little he gives a shit about them all...

Lol............

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 12, 2019:

..................

A few more Scary Memes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 26, 2019:

...............................

I plan on using this response 😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2019:

.....................

Church memes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2020:

I hear Altarboys are still on the menu as well...

Last but not least....you know where to find me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 26, 2020:

...........................

Split-screen America?[agnostic.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2020:

.........................

Wonder how that worked?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2020:

Sounds like a job for the "Florida Man" challenge....

Sweet Home

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2020:

.............................

Hell, Caesar...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

At least he got the point....

At least this one never claimed he was a "stable genius"...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Prayer fail....

Here's a thought...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Deport the sex offenders and it will be simply trading racist Republicans for refugees...

What he will likely recommend next.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

Stupid person posting stupid memes... go figure...

Close enough.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

Funny isn't it how those least likely to take these jobs are the ones who want to build a wasteful wall to keep these people out... And of course won't do what they think it will...

Definitely need instructions , if MAGA can't read anyway

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2021:

........................

Following the dalai llama or the Wooly Savior?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2021:

Sounds like the majority if the human race... Sheeple following their version of a prophet...

Another Gervais...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

....................

A little dark humor...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2021:

I have four indoor only cats and a yard cat who I love dearly and spend a lot of money caring for yet I still had a chuckle over this.... But if I actually saw someone do this I would have to dispose of a body...

Look like brothers to me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 31, 2021:

....................

Wasn't expecting this....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 1, 2021:

And ya done gone and made an ash of yourself now didn't cha?...

Meow now! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2021:

At least this one isn't a personal butthurt lawyer....

Kind of fits her

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

That dog should be taken to the nearest vet to be put to sleep....

Word challenge....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2021:

Please don't shart....

Pretty much like that lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2021:

How I look....

Every cats fantasy...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 12, 2021:

In my house that would become scattered pile of shredded paper in a matter of hours... With over 60 pounds of exhausted felines snoozing in corner piles trying to look innocent...

It's amusing to me when this happens (mostly FB, not here).

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 13, 2021:

And then he wonders why he gets laughed at...

Franklin, TN - Now we know where it started!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2021:

...................

No longer the sunshine state.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2021:

Floraduh has always been the "what the fuck was this moron thinking" state....

Apparently, they are all female news presenters in America.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

"News presenters?" Since when did Fox start doing the news?....

Anyone lost a dog?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2021:

Awwwww doggy has his boner....

Majority of Atheists Believe There May Be Intelligent Life on Other Planets A recent study ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

.................

I really hope she likes it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2021:

....................

This would give me a fright!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2021:

I want that tree next to the street in front of my house.... At night we have people speeding by all night long and half of them are trying to get out of town after the bars close and the cops catch them....

Still smarter than an anti masker [dailymail.co.uk]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2021:

Because *FREEDUM...*

Crazy ideas are the lifeblood of capitalism.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2021:

Screwy ideas are often the best ones.....

Very smart general

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 16, 2021:

..............

Always comical.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 18, 2021:

......................

Don't get vaccinated!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 20, 2021:

A true Entrepreneur....

Met anxiety...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 21, 2021:

All the stupid anti-vaxxers out there anyone with two functioning neurons or more is bound to have a bit of anxiety...

Ain't this the way it is! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2021:

Capitalism in a nutshell.... Fire the people who do the work and send their jobs to countries that use exploited and slave labor....

Redneck engineering

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2021:

But he has great air conditioning....

This is a good one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2021:

.................

Progress in technology lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

Available in a sex toy store near you in the state of Texas...

There's also a talking snake 🐍 and an apple 🍎 that ruined the world 🌎

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I love the smell of butthurt in the morning....

Poor guy..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2021:

"You should have seen it Martha the damned thing was as big as a whale and swallowed me whole! I came back as soon as the damned thing shit me out!

Oh dear! Some things you can't just unsee! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2021:

....................

Sign language interpreter gets straight to the point.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 1, 2021:

Because......

Since most of you live in the Northern Hemisphere, this one is just for you....LOL.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 2, 2021:

Hey it's Frosty the snow bitch....

okay that is funny.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 2, 2021:

When the stuff is sitting there forever it is bound to take on a life of its own....

Little Benny was very sick, and the doctors had given up hope.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 3, 2021:

........................

Some guys

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 8, 2021:

That wasn't me I was elsewhere playing poker that day...

Am not going in there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 8, 2021:

Well it looks as if somebody has no sense of fun or adventure...

I bet nobody warned then about this part of the gig until it was too late.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 9, 2021:

Mt. Keistermore...

Never wear that shirt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 10, 2021:

Promises promises....

Yup he won't

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2021:

....................