You wanted diversity? You got it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2023:

Best motherfucking movie of the year...

He is nice and did not hesitate

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2023:

Now that is one big dick...

Oh, I had no idea

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2023:

So what?... It isn't like they are going to combine their personal DNA (fuck) and have children...

Wait! Up ahead! Awwww, crap!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2023:

Most often when you see the light at the end of the tunnel it is a fast freight train....

What do you think about that?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2023:

But his name still made for a great pick up line...

I lost my shit at one of my places I work at! Fuck it!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2023:

What happened did Karen stop by?...

That would certainly suck.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2023:

Thankfully that bigoted actor's career is dead....

All you gotta do is flap your lips, dude.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2023:

"Goat Rapist's Guide to the Galaxy..." Been using that one for decades now...

It so happens

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2023:

Looks more like the front and back of a horse to me....

They want to turn the young into lifelong suckers

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

Exactly what made me into a anti-theist.... I learned to think young and they kept telling me not to think...

They said what they said

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

Would have been funnier with a glass cover over it...

12 days of Christmas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

Why I no longer go on Assbook....

Yes, it does, mate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

Pirates say "yo ho yo ho..."

The future looks bleak

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

Every time I have to go to the hardware store to buy something else I need to fix the fuck-ups by a previous owner or damage to my house from neglect I see at least one of these guys...

Thoughts? Really looking for perspectives..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 19, 2023:

This asshole...

Communists are genociding islamists.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhDJxEPRDek=TheFullMontyPython

Communists are genociding islamists.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

I smell a religitard Trumpanzee troll... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qileP4bAzek=BlogDrops

I see the point, I walk the Earth every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

Looks like my ex but she liked walking around with a stick up her ass the size of an old growth redwood...

Advice was available for a long time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

I wish that had happened to my ex-wife....

Wait, what? So you? Want to grab my what!?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

I hate how these morons keep asking me to buy my home "for cash" every time I get a snail mail, email, text, or phone call I tell them to fuck off and take me off their list but as fast as one asshole stops two more scumbags pop-up... Almost as bad as people asking if my house is "for rent" There is NOT a sign in front of my house dumbshit so why are you asking?...

Not to be taken lightly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 18, 2023:

And the wife was mad because she thought he had bought that vacuum cleaner for her.... Why does she think they called them "suck brooms?..."

Can I get some help from my gardener friends?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 17, 2023:

Those don't turn red but they make a fantastic incense....

Christmas memes!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

As for the "cunt on a bundt" I would rather see one of her called "bitch in a ditch..." or maybe even "whore under the concrete floor..."

Um...bottoms up?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

Marie always had a glowing personality.....

about some guys out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

And the vast majority of them in this country will be MAGA twats...

He died for your sins, now you owe him some pleasure

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

Sales slogan: Put a little Jesus in your butt and you both will nut...

They don't do vaccines in the South

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

Good two inbred breeder Republicans gone for the price of none...

When words are not enough

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

How many drinks did you need to make that offer?...

Because some dogs are too friendly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

When I get the front fence and gate in I am going to put up a sign saying... "Trespassers will be fed to the cats..."

Owww!!! My tooth hurts!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 16, 2023:

Love that magical Christmas dust....

But this too will pass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2023:

Checking my AAD battery out and making sure it doesn't jam again this year....

There's a girl who doesn't hang about

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 15, 2023:

Hope he likes really sloppy fourths....

One of the many untold xmas stories that never made it into the major myth canon.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2023:

Bambi strikes back....

Won't you come?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2023:

For him it is a race between prison and either a heart attack or stroke.... Thinking of starting a dead pool anybody want in?...

Screening in the US Congress by popular demand this week

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2023:

Fuck the GQP this sounds like a good idea to me.... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/12/14/2211632/-Ukraine-My-proposal-for-a-California-National-Guard-Lend-Lease

Makes you feel warm all over!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2023:

Somebody should gift them with a Ukrainian Easter Egg..... I bet they would get a real bang out of that...

Praise the lord

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 14, 2023:

Your priest does too girls....

Warning ! It's PG-13.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Porn Guy 13?...

Yo kids, get your act together.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

#MeToo I intend to live forever just to piss everyone else off....

Have perfected grocery shopping

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Next time remove your keys from your pocket before you pick up your groceries....

Ignore me at your peril. Don't be a wet blanket.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

Don't worry Donald you are still the duck and he is just a quack...

Experience the miracle

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 13, 2023:

God is a good way to separate a fool from his money...

It helps if you say it in a teutonic accent.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2023:

Musical farts?...

I have to get somethin off my chest.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 12, 2023:

Does fuck you sound sincere enough for you?.... #NotAskingForAFriend

Happy Monday Night!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Thinking that mutant's feet might really look like that...

Wedding at their favorite place - Walmart !

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Best argument ever against beer goggles....

Democrat problem solving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/12/10/2209335/-Ukraine-Invasion-Day-656-GOP-amp-Orban-allies-meet-11-December-2023-to-stop-UKR-funding

Democrat problem solving.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

You must really enjoy looking stupid don't you?... Got a newsflash for you Donny Dumbass ran up 9 Trillion dollars in debt in only 4 years making him not only the most criminal president in history as well as the most incompetent and feckless but also the first president in history to increase the national debt by such a huge amount... Today they will be meeting with Orban's toadys which was organized by the heritage foundation to sell us out to Putin by blocking aid to Ukraine...

wish I was that pig

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

The one biting her on the ass?... You do realize it is a female right?...

I'm tired, goodnight 😴😘

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 11, 2023:

Easier if they just shot him...

For sure….

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EPEkk6qWkg=NewYorkMagazine

Sounds to be pretty life like

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

Donnie Dumbass is a Fascist zero...

He actually said this and based on history it's not surprising.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 10, 2023:

Betting that hotel room is at a local roach motel....

They will find a way

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Kids are going to love that one...

He is always thinking business

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

About as good a way to get rich as living in a rusty trailer and voting Republican because they are helping the rich get so rich soon they will start giving money to the poor....

Can't say that I blame her. 😜

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

A little hot lovin will get her all wet.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc5IbN4xw70=CardiB

He has an attraction towards with small people

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

When you have an extremely small dick but want to be called "Big Daddy" anyway....

He won't help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Step one: Buy a huge long-haired dog the sheds constantly... Step two: Buy a couple cases of wide two-sided tape... Step three; Follow the dog around picking fur off the furniture with the tape... Step four; Peel the back of the tape's protective layer off and stick the new toupee on top of your head... Step five; Repeat as needed...

The results are in

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 9, 2023:

Hey stop giving out my personal medical information...

Wait, there is a difference

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2023:

Cobin liked those splashes of bright color... Michelangelo not so much...

Quick thinking

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 8, 2023:

I always wondered why..... sorry just thinking aloud....

This is a different kind of horse opera..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

"I always thought of poison as my retail therapy..." Catherine de' Medici

Ummm....I wouldn't know how to cook it either. 🤭

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Just like chicken?...

you never know!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

You are being far too generous with that grade.... D- at best is my guess....

Good candidates are hard to find

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Sounds more like the world's corporations.... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2023/12/7/2210250/-New-report-unsurprisingly-shows-that-profiteers-have-raised-prices-well-above-the-rise-in-costs?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

That's what a good friend does. Pre-intervention🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 7, 2023:

Yeah that was my ex-wife....

I'd watch that episode!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

Too bad he doesn't exist think of all those Christians he could surprise....

Jesus suffered in many ways

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

What sound does shit make when it hits the wall?.... Jesus...

Why don't we see the curvature?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 5, 2023:

Sounds like every political conservative on this site doesn't it?...

Sold out in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

Pretty much every red state where the family doesn't consider a child anything to brag about until they have spent at least 12 months behind bars....

Poor-kinky.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

Putting the Budweiser in BDSM...

Pete, Harry and Alex were holidaying in Dubai.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 4, 2023:

So who did the sucking?...

I have one request.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Just BBQ me for the holidays....

I am an open book.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I have that on a tee-shirt I think....

He looks similar, no glasses needed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I just wish the people of Israel would wise up and lynch this motherfucker along with all his political cohorts...

This is the earliest we have found.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

False I am sure I saw cave drawings of him dated from the Paleozoic era....

Don't worry. This is edited for PG-13.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Let's see the R rated version....

Nice relaxing Sunday evening finally!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Weird as hell is right some of the guys I grew up with first started jacking off to her....

I am watching my eating.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

These are the people always complaining they can't seem to lose weight...

Can Jessica say something like "Oh Jose, Oh Tyrone" instead?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

What if her boyfriend's name is Jesus?...

Fun and games on a grand scale

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

That face you make when you die of COVID....

A true story

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Florida man is that you again?....

Not many have those skills

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

I have those skills also and it tends to annoy people who don't know the difference between "its and it's"

Our local Aldi has removed the check out lanes and installed self check out points.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

Aldi is feeling the pressure here in the US to unionize and they are trying ways in less competitive markets to avoid it...

Certainly more than you have brain cells

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 3, 2023:

He faked it.....

I hope he lands in the worst drag bar in NY

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Or robbing homes for Christmas....

Well...he tried. 🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

4 knots.... You are not going to like it when the doctor tells you that you have an STD...

Grandma's love is....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Grandma is a perv...

It's god's word, uh?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Why couldn't he have been the one who lived to be 100 years old instead?....

And she's just found out what he really really wants. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Pity the girl who goes through my phone and sees all the insane memes....

Hear me out here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Have to watch what you eat anywhere you go out these days the main ingredients are fat and sugar... Fat Food making addicts of everyone.

An executive decision

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

just because it is a pussy doesn't mean it wants a dildo up its ass....

Somebody has to say the right thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

But he will be the one getting laid...

Love is love

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

Saudi royal family holiday picture?...

-10C here overnight. I don't think I will be cutting any firewood today

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 2, 2023:

That is cold enough to freeze the balls off Frosty the Snowman....

Perhaps, only Brits can understand this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 1, 2023:

Full of sugar and I honestly don't like the taste....

Brilliant nasal policy in action

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2023:

Digging for a nose nugget....

What would you say to that?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 30, 2023:

Convenient way of evading personal responsibility for being an evil pile of shit if you ask me.... "It wasn't my fault a demon possessed me and forced me to rape and murder them..."

Has this happened to you? You may not be entitled to a compensation!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

Melina tried that and it isn't working out so well...

This was a hit the first time with Dukakis but Clinton-Gore killed it in 1992

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 29, 2023:

Dan Quayle The guy who was so dumb they rejected his contestants application for "are you smarter than a 5th grader" because they said it was like dynamiting fish in a barrel...