Cut him some slack, it's a tough decision.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Some women whatever you do even if she tells you to do it you're still wrong...

Discreet shipping they said

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Now the whole world knows what you do in the bedroom....

Truth in advertising here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Hey isn't that Jesus?....

Men get help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Crabs?.....

The light turned yellow, just in front of him.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Nope just a typical Christian asshole ... Nothing to see here officer...

This belongs here. Jason Sudeikis as JC on SNL [m.youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

Tebow is such a jackass he would likely have fallen for someone pulling that gag in the locker room....

Been busy! Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 29, 2023:

So many times I have had to tell people I don't speak their language.... Just before calling them an asshole...

[tiktok.com] Hello world 😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 28, 2023:

That used to be me after a 21 day work week...

What's your guess as to who is going to revive him?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 28, 2023:

If it were me I would have to vote both...

Ken and Barbie were happy, I don't understand

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 28, 2023:

Barbie goes BBC now on pornhub...

You've gotta make yourself at home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 28, 2023:

You know you might be a redneck when....

What's for dinner tonight, Moonbeam? 😄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 28, 2023:

I would be more inclined to consider that as baked....

The captain had it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Does that mean she is frigid?...

He cannot keep secrets

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Person of experience there....

Your tax dollars not at work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Florida or Texas?...

The funding ran out. A LOT of funding is about to run out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

If you plan to rob a bank you are better making an "after hours withdrawal" by blowing the vault.... less risk and more money... especially if you can get in for the holiday weekend with a plasma torch and hit those safety deposit boxes... just sayin.

Am I the only one who is getting sick and tired of going to a website and having them ask if I'll ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

I have a simple solution to that problem which is opening firefox in private mode and when I am finished it deletes it all...

Honest mistake, Mr. Whiskers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Yet one of the smallest and weakest of those countries has nearly completely disarmed and destroyed the economy of the largest one on that map.... Go Ukraine!...

Monster truck owner

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

There are women out there with bigger clits than the penis of guys who drive those trucks...

It's Memorial Day weekend, be safe and smart.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Be smart.....Always wear gloves and a mask when doing something stupid....

That would be pure dedication on the peeping-tom's part.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Wait until the next modification when they put in a glass floor....

Been there, done that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 27, 2023:

Now that hit the nail on the head for me....

Is it convincing enough?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 26, 2023:

A straw?....

Star Wars fans will understand. 😁

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 26, 2023:

Only if the other guys are using white paintballs...

Any guess why?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Died of fear and indigestion just looking at her?....

I like her answer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Looks like she's hired though...

Parts Unknown - Boris Johnson

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Too stupid to figure out if he wants it to look average size he really needs a microscope....

Simple passions are the best.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Last one would be great for thinning the herd....

In a fuzzy crown with his inbred kisser? Ya think?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Tell it like it is Wanda!...

Nature lovers' choice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Stoner's bathroom....

How he's off camera

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

He is no competition....

Marriage is really educational! Man, when I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Well there is forking and forking around...

I'm leaving now...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

..........

What would you choose?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 25, 2023:

Pretty sure losing my granddaughter wouldn't be a fair trade...

"The Kardashian" by Kohler

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2023:

For those extra wide loads....

Did you know that before acting in Episode IV: A New Hope that Mark Hamills had never seen a single ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2023:

I doubt George Lucas saw them either and if he had we might have been spared....

Hear me out, Toilet Taxi!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2023:

Just another shitty drone...

Listening skills are overstated

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2023:

Their comments fell on deaf ears....

I see stupid people, and they don't even know they're stupid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 24, 2023:

I am quite convinced I was kidnapped by an exceptionally retarded alien species for study...

It is true I think

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

Depends on who is doing the feeling....

Yeah, Chris?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

Chris loves his family and friends a bit too much...

Lack of sleep and waking up for food at 3 am can be damaging to you health

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

UpChucky?.....

I’ve just arrived at my first premature ejaculation support group.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

Sounds like you have a way to go yet but at least you don't have to worry about child support....

I was afraid of that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

Nothing beats a good tan...gent...

New technology is here

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

And then after heeding the device and going out in shorts and a tee shirt you find yourself caught in a blizzard because it gave you the forecast for Costa Rica for shits and giggles...

Not to worry

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 23, 2023:

This is a Republican's worst nightmare until a hurricane hits and they are sitting on the roof waiting to die.... Then FEMA shows up to rescue their stupid asses...

A drama queen running away from paparazzi

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 22, 2023:

As if we didn't have enough drama queens in this country already....

Don't try, don't jump

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 22, 2023:

Surprised he isn't wearing them down to his knees....

Failure was not an option

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 22, 2023:

Can't see how she could miss..... oh wait... You are supposed to cross the "Ts" not the eyes lady...

Good vultures always check the wallet first.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2023:

Like the old joke goes.... What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom on the ocean?... A good start...

I had no idea

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2023:

Monkeysoft lost in court and the term "windows" is used by all operating systems... The real reason they use Linux is the same reason the Navy does to run its ships.... it is not as prone to crashing and leaving you stranded.

You will know who they are by their actions

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 21, 2023:

You mean like the 10 Republican senators in Loseranna who just voted to keep bestiality legal?.... Asking for a friend...

The nurse has the diagnosis and medicine

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2023:

Viagria over dose...

Kids are smarter than we think

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2023:

Forgot about the nanny-cam though didn't he?

Relationship advice 101 - Wait until later

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2023:

Stepmom is that you?...

I don't know what you're aiming for... Anyway, good luck, maid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2023:

One of many reasons actors amuse me ....

Summer is here, goin to the beach?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 20, 2023:

Hi Flipper....

This was too punny to pass up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2023:

A vealy bad time to bother her...

[tiktok.com] And , “ but did u die ?”🙄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 19, 2023:

I used to think people were stupid but as I grew older I began to realize that people weren't intelligent enough to be stupid...

This is a humor group not a political group.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 18, 2023:

What no potty humor?.... What is the world coming to these days when you can't even make fun of the funniest shit there is?

I always had this question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 17, 2023:

I have found that stupidity seems to attract far more followers than the most intelligent of people.... That is after all how Trump won the Whitehouse...

What a relief!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 17, 2023:

Looks like a good place for a catalytic converter...

sign ,sign everywhere a.....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 17, 2023:

Keeps you from ever having to clean up after him again...

Life tips for fun deprived

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2023:

Because Walmart is a shitty place to shop.... FYI Several of the big chain stores had this problem before the collapse under president Shrub I know this because I used to do contract work to clean up these shitholes...

But it seemed so romantic when we talked about it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2023:

Sounds good to me....

I do, too. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2023:

Either coffee or some nice Earl Grey tea...

Baby Daddy don't come back?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 16, 2023:

How much of your gold have you found there?...

I have a lot of vacation, I want to go again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

I'd take that ride it looks like an "E ticket" to me...

Woman has potential, it is for what that we need to ask

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

As long as nobody else is injured or killed we can "think of it as evolution in action..." (Larry Niven)

Try to tell her to click Start to close Windows on her computer. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

I had someone ask me why their computer could not access the Internet one time and since their explanation didn't make sense I went to their home. In looking the computer over I immediately noticed that they had moved it from one side of the room to the other and didn't bother moving either the Router or getting a longer cable that would reach from the router to computer... I had to make them a 35" eithernet cable and explain (using very small words) that if the cable was unplugged you couldn't get online... Amazingly it only took about 45 minutes to explain this to them.

Sitting here batteling a single fly.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

I just swat them with my hand because thanks to my sister I can never find th damned swatters because she puts them someplace and forgets where. I will be so glad when she gets her own place at the end of this month.

What is your superpower?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

Annoying people with sarcastic comments...

I didn't watch that Trump town hall on CNN, but I've heard highlights.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 15, 2023:

And Tommy Tuberville is saying that White supremacy is a religion now... and no I am not making that one up...

To All you Mothers out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2023:

Looks like @MichelleGar1 to me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2023:

Actually that was Trump's doing.... https://www.npr.org/2021/03/04/973604904/trumps-deal-to-end-war-in-afghanistan-leaves-biden-with-a-terrible-situation

Holy shit!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 14, 2023:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=holy%20fucking%20shit

A thief broke into a house one night.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 13, 2023:

And the pet mountain Lion is Gandhi...

It might have been a sales call.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 13, 2023:

Yet was close enough to a cell phone tower to get reception and didn't think to make like E.T. and "Phone home?"

Don't expect patience from young kids.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 12, 2023:

#2.... Invited the pope over to take a shit?...

An Irishman walks into a bar in Toronto and orders a drink.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2023:

Even for a Cluracan that would be an impossible task...

This is a great deal.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2023:

I remember those well...

I wonder! About once a year I buy the newest "non-stick" frying pan.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 11, 2023:

I like my stainless steel.... If pre-heated properly they beat hell out of any so-called "non-stick"....

A beautiful woman sat next to a man on a plane.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2023:

Like dynamiting fish in a barrel....

Call me old fashioned

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2023:

Texas needs less people with this attitude...

Mailboxes in Ukraine everywhere

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2023:

It is a box for depositing dog shit...

The truth will do you good

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2023:

I do.........

How'bt bread and butter?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 9, 2023:

Taco Bell....

I don't know what this emotion is, but I've felt it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

Horsing around drunk?....

You have to admire his ability to stick to it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

Looks like Charlie won this time...

No, thank you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

With an arrow.... Don't worry you'll get the point.

What happened to chivalry?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

Opening doors for women to enter first comes from the age of chivalry.... You opened the door so she could enter first so if an enemy was waiting inside she got killed and you could escape...

Her dream came true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

Just how young is your crush?...

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

I will take best explanations for 2,000 Alex....

Wow, she told him!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

Unless he is one of them...

reverse hunting trip

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 8, 2023:

If they are out there with guns they are fair game...

A science riddle. Do you know why?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 7, 2023:

Built in water wings....

There are many out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 7, 2023:

As I always used to reply.... "Better than being a dumb one..."

Complains about unemployment

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 6, 2023:

Like the guy with full facial tattoos who can't seem to find a job in customer service....

It's been an emotionally and mentally stressful week! Hope you all are having a great Saturday!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 6, 2023:

Unrestrained capitalism is fascism....

Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on May 6, 2023:

I would have replied "She pays me..."