Very accurate

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2023:

Pretty much universal to any English speaking country...

I know this is a humor group but seeing the problems we are having and how little time we might have...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Since nobody is expressing opinions or interest in the project I am not going to waste time or 30K on a project that would fail.

The ducks are happy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

Well all I can say to that is fuck a duck...

I love history and all it entails.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2023:

I have seen her on stage.... a great act.... she crawls out and tries to stand up...

We have a huge selection of essential oils to choose from, this seems to work best

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Or ether.....

Only can help so far

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2023:

Sad part is that down South he is one of the smart ones.... It is the White conservatives that are the really stupid ones....

The gender has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Some human women do that too the trick is to get them not to use their teeth.... Must be why women with no teeth are so popular down South....

Xavier is right

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Looks like she is trying to swing from her family tree.... pun intended...

But his cousin can shop at Acme.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

Is it the roadrunner route?....

I think I'll pass..... Yep, I'll pass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

That will definitely get your ass high....

This was from a retired anaesthetist friend.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=notKtAgfwDA=alyankovicVEVO

The time has come for us to venture into the void.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

One of the kids playing hide and go seek?....

Where's the garlic?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 14, 2023:

I would love to find one of those... as a collectible do you have any idea what they are worth?...

For when mosquito season begins. Oh, what a fashion statement!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

I have heard of fishnets but this?...

More public Service announcements for you to use.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Tried that on assbook but it backfired and I ended up with almost 4,000 followers in my friends list before I gave up....

Perfect couple...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Hung out to dry?.....

A big wet mess.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Makes her fat too...

[tiktok.com] All type of sweet babies ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 13, 2023:

Love the cat in the shower...

A lot of times, religion boils down to practicality. And desperation.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

Must have heard him wrong....

Explain it to Jesus

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2023:

If Jebus had ever existed and did return today Christians would be the first in line to nail him back up on a fucking cross just for shits and giggles...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0aIqx1McVI=thisyourtube

Happy Saturday Afternoon! Hope you all are having a good one!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Go ahead and tell her about your 8" dick and I will tell her I have a 6" tongue then we will see who she goes home with....

Just read the sign!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Trumpanzee alert...

Christopher Titus [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2023:

Same things I have been saying since Ronny Raygun was in the Whorehouse....

I am so done with winter

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2023:

LMAO all these Libertarians up in the mountains near me are under 10 to 15 feet of snow and it won't stop until Sunday at the earliest... Snow is so deep they can't even shovel it off their roofs so no gas or food going up again to their paradise of government not being in their faces.

Not much has changed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

............

Of course, this is just my opinion, you are free to think what you will. Can't stand the guy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 9, 2023:

Elon is full of shit, don't be like Elon...

The Bible is full of ommisions and inaccuracies

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

What a way to go...

Uh-oh, I'm gonna be in trouble with her... 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

You're fucked... You're life is over..... Should have offered to iron it for her...

It might make for a better neighborhood

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Should actually make it a part of Somalia.... That way nobody would notice...

Always ask your co workers what they'd like to do sometimes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Looks like puppy has been sampling the marijuana stashes he finds...

Talk about a dark side...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 8, 2023:

If he ever got into my head he would be a shivering mass of screaming flesh...

Not a nice lady I heard

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

AKA Putin's little bitch...

Being the historian that I am I failed to mention that March 6th was 187th anniversary of the fall ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Ahh Texas history books.... No wonder they can't cope with real schools in other states...

Guys, you should too.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Now that is a nice rear view...

DIY - don't spend on handymen

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

That would be just plain scary....

Flys are horrible today.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2023:

Life is a bitch when it turns out the flies are smarter than you are...

Kamala Babble

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

...............

This claim though.... is unrefuted

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Now that is a really stupid design....

It's a love/hate relationship

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

No balls....

Dogs can be excellent judges of character, in this case Major was spot on.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Good dog...

When your scam comes back and bites you in the ass! :D Self proclaimed "Jesus Christ" of Kenya ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

"If I had me a hammer....."

Be on the look-out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

I would rather have pigeons in the neighborhood...

Do not pass go, do not collect...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

How amazingly obvious...

The truth will come out

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 6, 2023:

Why is it so many women enjoy sex while dating and glue their legs together after marriage?...

That ain't right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 5, 2023:

Problem is that people really are that dumb these days...

Yes, mistress!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

"Take your cigarette from it's holder!... Burn your initials in my shoulder! You can raise welts like nobody else as we dance to the Masochism tango..." Prof Tom Leher

Just so you know....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

Unless they reverse the polarity on the motor then it blows...

Talk about a shitty job....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2023:

The wheels on the bus go.... shit.

WTF is wrong with Tennessee... ALL our founding Fathers were drag queens!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2023:

So is the Pope....

Rather than raise the retirement age, they should be lowering it, remove the cap.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 3, 2023:

My entire body is messed up because I worked so hard just so I could sleep. I suffered from PTSD for almost 40 years before the VA finally admitted that was the problem and got me on disability. Then I applied for Social Security Disability and they denied me saying I had "made too much money" Sure dudes I get 727.00 a month from you assholes and you claimed I was rich. Yes I had good years but I also had long periods of being homeless and suffered from depression most of the time and these assholes talked like I was fucking Elon Must....

Brothers, pay attention!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

I would say who cares?...

What can I say, but, what can I say.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

I learned long ago that giving a fuck or a rat's ass was too much effort so I no longer bother giving either...

A woman and her male neighbour each buy greenhouses… They both decide to grow tomatoes and a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Aha I was right they were both lying....

Grandma knows a thing or two!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Grandma took 10 to go?

A little whipped cream on top, yummy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Great sign for a massage parlor I guess....

Can't stand those guys....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Funny because it is the neighbor's dog..... the one that kept you up with it's constant howling for a full year. That is what I call a "win, win situation..."

Gee, can't wait to tell Mom.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Somebody just got a big surprise...

See ya later!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Famous last words....

When "do it yourself" is the wrong approach. 😏

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2023:

In his defense..... His sister never wore a bra....

I never liked Viagra.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Well it got something up...

They are related occupations, if you think about it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Yep that is family...

Religious fantasy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Another reason god would be a woman is it was always PMSing...

Just a misunderstanding...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2023:

A great impressionist artist in the making...

I guess some things are better let unsaid.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2023:

Where is Charlie Brown?...

Go Campbell's!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

"Revenge is a dish that is best served cold..." And no it wasn't a Klingon... (Also known as a parody Russian.. Origin of this idiom The phrase revenge is a dish best served cold finds its origins in the mid 1800's from a text written by Eugene Sue called Memoirs of Matilda which was written in French and when directly translated actually reads revenge is good when eaten cold, so the vulgar folks say. “Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold” | What Does It Mean? - 7ESL

Oh the fun you can have in a rocking chair with two people and some imagination; slow but steady ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

I was born way too late.... The perfect woman and I hadn't been born yet...

Is he covered though.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2023:

Fish and Game Officer: Sir may I see your current ice fishing license?...

[tiktok.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

I just wish I had been afforded the opportunity...

And they are quite modest. LOL

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

He would have gone to the roof but he was afraid of heights....

BEMY WOMA

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Dumb Shit Tiny Dick Cowa rdly Shit Head Dads Girl

That ain't right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

And that was only Oriental Ave..... Just think what he gets when she lands on Park Place....

Very windy day here today, 60 mph wind gusts, staying in bed kinda day! Hope you all are having a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 26, 2023:

Grass fed?... Oh yes ma'am I raise them myself in the pond out back on marijuana...

I used to struggle learning Roman numerals... Until I got to 159. Now it just CLIX

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Many people struggle because some letters stand for more than one number and numbers can be written differently.... CLVIIII, CXXXXCIX

Get to know John Oliver in 6 jokes [facebook.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

I don't have an Assbook account anymore... Mark Fuckerberg is a Nazi scumbag...

Now that's a game changer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Even if you don't smoke it yourself keep some around for her.... Always think of others it pays!

Sorry about that

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

Ahh so sad too bad the front and rear cameras were on.... Both Karma and technology can be bitches these days...

Finally a place where ordering can be fun again.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2023:

I should open one of these....

Jehovah's Witnesses - take note

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

I want to have one custom made saying:... "I you are affiliated with any religious organization please go to hell..."

Just exactly what the facts are. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

Stuff is liquid crack and should be outlawed...

The smaller the dog, the bigger the reaction to a perceived threat.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2023:

If he showed up at my door he would be toast when my cats ate him alive...

It all depends on what you put in the pot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

I have so much shit I agree with I can't even post it all...

PETA has eyes and ears everywhere.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

Just showing that monkey some love...

I don't see anything wrong here. Do you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2023:

I would "adopt" them....

May need some air freshener.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Oh shit....

And there is always another perspective. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Better take a dog in with you...

Time for some poetic justice, if you ask me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Hey youtube do we need to use a bigger rock?

Who did this to the nice sign?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 22, 2023:

Seems a bit harsh for just locking up your bike...

Wow, who would have thought it???

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

One reason I stopped driving...

There are many republicans that do enjoy pissing off liberals.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Takes lazy boy chair, 10 cases of microwave popcorn. 2 kegs of beer and rushes to the site "for moral support"

Either way, they'll be saying 'Jesus'

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Hot girl: "Hey Zeus how about you let me play with your lighting rod?..."

Test yourself and get help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

What wine?...

Could it be an explanation for her enigmatic smile :)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Or it might be her vibrator....

Raise you hand if you agree

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Well I can agree since all gods are just a bunch of shit having a good regular shit can do a lot to rid you of religion...

CHD Sues CDC to Obtain Documents on COVID Vaccine Injuries and Deaths Reported in VAERS By ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

"Never under estimate the power of human stupidity..." Robert Heinlein

He has humor, she has no mercy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

Ask a stupid question, get a smartass answer every time....

Poetry by the orange turd

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 21, 2023:

I will drink to that....

He is not giving up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Yu would think he wood be smart enough to use a burner phone...

Points of the compass.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Get lost in those....

I may have found the perfect date for several of you!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2023:

Looks like our resident Republican's (Tejas) ex-girlfriend.... the one that took out a restraining order against him...