A guy is imprisoned for his first time On his first night, a few minutes after lights-out, his ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Must have been the one about the tis bottle....

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Damn I never get that feeling in #1 anymore how come?...

Thanksgiving to remember

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

The family that plays together....

Scammers are getting smarter.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 24, 2022:

Come and get me mother fucker....

Snoop Yoda

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Not going to follow that one...

Imagine an electric carving knife in the shower scene. Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Sending that one to a friend who just came home from visiting her narcissistic mother... You know the one I mean...

They can be so judgmental and arresting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Or congressmen...

Moses was strong

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Not going to explain this one to our resident ding dongs I am just enjoying the fools they make of themselves..... "Irony is a dish that is best served cold..." anonymous

Probably needs to apply for Texas DPS, I hear they are looking for a few good men.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Ask Colorado....

Ah, those moments

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 23, 2022:

Bet she felt those vibrations good... real good... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apBWI6xrbLY

If she can do this, imagine...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2022:

My she looks fun.....

Trapped by their own arrogance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 22, 2022:

Never mess with an old fart...

The real reason that libertarians won't win

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

If they want to live in a "Libertarian paradise" why don't they just move to fucking Somalia?....

Like mother, like son.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Son....y

One to share with your friends.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Because I am all there I can't think of myself as all that....

Caring is loving

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Hey I have a part that gets cold too you know...

Just leave her alone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Never heard of birth control?...

Context is everything.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

If you are rich you are just eccentric, but if you are poor you are batshit insane....

Never lose your dog 🐕

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

My cats will be cremated and interred with me. After all they are veterans too and have served me well

Ever seen a big ass snake?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Gonna need a big ass snake for that ass...

Hand of the Almighty ( by John Butler ) Be aware, all you sinners, this's a Warning message.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wvj2aFNJnk

I need this sign

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Only when I am sleeping in the yard....

Can you find them all?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

8 differences...

A good advice, trust me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

And if he has shoes like those leopard skin ones you should start seeing other men...

Texas, repeat after me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 21, 2022:

Not sure there is much difference between metaphysics and philosophy... but both are light years ahead of religion...

A marketing genuis

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

My guess is that he is finding himself hard to sell.... Even in Northern Minnesota...

I find it happening more and more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

One day I needed some scotch tape and looked in the stationary section, when I couldn't find it I asked a stocker if they had any in back and he told me it was on the end cap of the potato chip isle.... He thought it was funny when I asked him what kind of moron thought that was actually a good idea...

This week is important

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Seen a lot of diabetics with feet like that that usually ended up with amputations....

Oh no, not that again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Or your creditcard bills....

The answer is there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Could there be a cooralation between these?...

Love is love

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

It is hard being a Minuteman....

It's overwhelming in Texas

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

I wonder how that park would feel about sliding down headfirst on your back?...

Qatar is just taking management lessons from Musk

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Using slave labor to build the world's most expensive soccer stadium ever and then piss people off...

Japan is good at these things

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

And trouble is two women under one roof....

Geez. Guys only want one thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Petting that pussy....

Your tax Dollars at work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Got to be Texas....

She has no idea ... lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

She is probably laughing because she knows the cops are waiting right outside the store for you....

Tell me why.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Always bet on human stupidity and you will rarely lose....

Wonder what life would've been without

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyird7QyhGU

The difficulty of sharing a name….

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Time to fire the IT guy and hire someone competent...

Another reason I've never made one.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

And the last 10 would be her berating you for being a Minuteman?....

Happy Sunday, hope you all have a great day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

Some people aim higher while others can't aim at all.... "Must have been designed by somebody else...."

What is your level of trust?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

I trust people to be stupid fuck ups and rarely have I been disappointed....

Special Edition but Unlimited Supply

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 20, 2022:

They forgot the fuck me hole in the seat....

A blast from the past

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

I wouldn't be so sure if I were you living in Texas.....

I'm terrible at job interviews because.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

Some people go to great lengths to get hired these days... https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-guy-who-sent-a-hiring-manager-a-box-with-a-shoe-in-it-to-get-a-foot-in-the-door?utm_source=pocket-newtab

Dirty minds...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

Pervert sticking his pecker into an underage ash....

I'm terrible at job interviews because.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

My answer would have been "If I did you wouldn't believe me anyway.."

A quick reference chart for all the civilians out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCACcvH_G7I

A quick reference chart for all the civilians out there

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 19, 2022:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL8O2Cfc2P4

Don't it make you wanna just scream?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Like Elon Musk tweeting about declaring bankruptcy..... and instantly getting a million likes....

It's like god picks sides in sporting events. haha

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Like the Germans during WW2 "Got Mit Uns" .... If he was then their god is a huge loser....

This really is a thing, so many jokes, so little time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

It's a Redneck thing..... Safer like that trying to shit outdoors when you are drunk.

Damn, they are stealing the plumbing out of the walls

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

He is holding a yard sale out front trying to make money....

I hear you people up north got some of that white stuff, you know solid rain

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

30 minutes up the road from me are the ski resorts and there is snow up there already...

The bane of long haired dogs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

It's all fun and games until the vet tells you he is diabetic.... 1,000 a year for his insulin, another 100.00 a year for universal pen tips, and another 600.00 a year for vet bills....

He does have a knack for fucking things up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Elon Musk could fuck up a wet dream....

I bought a new hoover the other day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Hoover sucks....

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 18, 2022:

Don't forget the quickie he got from one of the stewardesses...

Always got to make fun....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Damn racist photoshop....

Yabba dabba do....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Creationists call this proof dinosaurs lived in harmony with man just like in the Flintstones....

I know I bought one about 1975, where it is now, I have no Idea.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

I did have it.... The ones before it didn't last long and were something like these.

He's doing his job

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Not so..... Sometimes they do tell the truth.... just in a way you won't believe it is true.

Eating out is an organic experience.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Actually QR codes are a bad idea to scan unless you can be absolutely positive that it hasn't been tampered with. Since the QR codes are so redundant they can be up to 70% destroyed or rendered illegible and still be read they have been targeted by scammers for editing so they can get control of your device without your knowledge....

Being Thankful.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

For a holiday that celebrates something that never happened yet...

Hurry before it's gone...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

In the other version of (Genesis2.1) creation they were both made at the same time out of dirt...

Happy Wednesday, been busy!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 17, 2022:

Extremely slow please.....

GOP Heckler Owned - Steve Hofstetter [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

Hopefully the little bitch saw this and got butthurt...

His brand of comedy will be missed.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

By fans in rain coats wearing safety glasses at comedy clubs everywhere...

I always say if you can't say something nice....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

They are no longer considered a world power either militarily or economically...

I got a black panther in my happy meal!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

Still not going to eat what they try to pass off for food...

Adorable to a fault. :D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

I have 12 in my yard if anyone wants a couple....

City that works

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

Yeah that is pretty much the kind of idiocy I see where I live.... and exactly the slogan they use...

Buyer beware, No refunds, No returns

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

Probably going to live forever now....

Me (looking in the fridge): No, it's not in here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 16, 2022:

And can't find it either....

New career opportunities for brave dental staff at Metropolis Dental.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

I always found it amusing that a being as powerful as that was 6'2" and 190 pounds....

I agree with it, and You?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Just shave first so there are no complaints about rashes.... or hairballs.

Well they should have foreseen the results of their surgery.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Clear vision is the main cause of divorce....

He was the smart one starship Enterprise

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Spock was the real brains of the ship's crew....

Elon, It will get worse.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

With enough money in hand you can buy success for the short term but you need experts to stay on track. Elon has decided he is now an expert and look what it is getting him....

Phew...That was close!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Exercise should be a four letter word...

I had a rather heated discussion with my mother a few years back on a road trip from Florida to ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Happiest day of my life was the day they told me I was adopted....

Thrill me, don't bill me!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Coffeeeeeeeeeee......

This could be the biggest screw up in finance since the Hunt brothers failed to corner the silver ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 15, 2022:

Lyft is hemorrhaging money as well and just laid off about 5,000 employees... And the Hunt brothers pretty much did corner the silver market until the Feds stepped in and they lost it because they were forced to sell their silver at a controlled price. A lot of people lost their asses but I got in early and made a few bucks...

Of course we have internalized discussions in our head but it doesn't mean that 'the lord' is ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Her: The Lord told me to tell you... Me: Your Shrink told me to tell you to get back on your meds....

Join Starfleet, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Red means dead in Starfleet.... It's almost as if they wanted them to be targets.

He buried his candidates and sunk the cause of conservatives too. Wouldn't you agree?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Unfortunately McCarthy was reelected because the people in his district are morons....

The Elon Musk Show BBC I-player Episode 1 ELON : "A company is a bunch of Vectors .

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Elon Mush is just another rich carnival barker trying to fool the world into thinking he knows what he is talking about. He was born to money and so far gotten away with his scams no different than Trump, Bill Gates and many other of his type.

Not what I had in mind...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

I don't know why he is complaining he did after all get screwed....

Monday morning blah!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Dogs are such assholes

Cat: Ah, you've finally woken up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

I have seen cats take human poses a lot. It is amazing how flexible and intelligent they can be.

I don't how scientific this is...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Well coal causes acid rain which is dilute Sulphuric Acid and there is a lot of Semen raining down on Pornhub....

He had a plan

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

Known around town as "The Handyman..."

His fans demand it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 14, 2022:

In far better mental and physical health than some we could mention....

It's crazy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

Fucking stupid meme made by a Trumpanzee who couldn't solve that problem on their own.... https://www.bestcolleges.com/news/analysis/2022/04/11/where-did-aoc-go-to-college/

Lucky dog 🐕

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

Lucky bastard....

For Physical and Mental Health

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

Urinate my ass I am going to take a huge ripe shit....

300 years from now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

Is this the presidents shot for treason series bill?....

Take it in and take you time to process. Coz more ass kicking is coming in 2024

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

...

When times get tough...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Nov 13, 2022:

The way Fred eats she is going to be spending a lot of time at work...