I warned you that it was coming.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2022:

Is it cold or are her nipples just happy to see me?....

too expensive for me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2022:

So for luck you sit in the lap of a guy who got nailed to a cross to die.....

Shocking experience

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2022:

How to make an ash of yourself by pretending you are an electrician....

This can't be right...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 7, 2022:

And as we all know Texans sure do know about crime....

He makes it easy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

You mean "ex-husband..." Or "new corpse"don't you?...

Is she really wrong?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

Then blowjobs are candy and sex is dinner....

I was just wondering if Sterling pound notes will have "In Liz we Truss" printed on them? :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

Acts a lot like him too.... https://youtu.be/A2mq81iynfA

I have been waitin......

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

Try pornhub you can find both there....

Happened yesterday

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

And people wonder why I am an antitheist....

Picked my friend up from the hospital yesterday.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 6, 2022:

Why didn't you reply.... "I was asking who the father was dumbshit"....

An interesting fact is revealed from a long research

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

I should get one of those for my yard as a decoration for December....

They have been waiting. Tell me he ain't coming back.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

Actually it has only been 1950 years...

end of an era

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

Time can rid you of many evils.... unfortunately not nearly fast enough.

Totally. I live in Texas but I am on his side.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

However singing about what a shitty life you have and how your wife ran off with your best friend while you hit your dog with your truck and the train wrecked your truck..... That is country music... Depressing shit that makes you want to eat a gun barrel please don't inflict it on me.

I'll make it my motto

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

Better to make it her motto....

Knew it would happen

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 5, 2022:

When the fit hits the shan....

It was an interesting meeting though....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2022:

Hey where did you get that picture of us?... And no I am not R. P. McMurphy that is a base canard I only act like him...

The countdown has started. Are you a Halloween person or not?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2022:

I want her on my front porch...

What would one do with a second mustache?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2022:

Why pay for a tattoo when you can get one for free in prison?.... Your family is already disappointed.

Anybody going?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 4, 2022:

I bet they end up short staffed....

Why I like cooked meat, not grilled.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2022:

So remember to cook your wiener....

Bernie's messages are confusing. Free health care or not?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2022:

Considering he is one of very few politicians who is actually faithful to their spouse this is in bad taste...

I have questions, anyone want to guess at the answers?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2022:

Something tells me somebody was a little pissed off..... because her purse was pissed on....

Wilson, what are you doing? 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 3, 2022:

One of many reasons I never watched TV....

A special ability

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

A talent that comes to everyone with age....

Barricaded at work because there was a robbery at the bank next door and the suspects ran away! ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

So when they robbed the bank did they get all $5?....

My daughter wanted a pet spider for her birthday I went to the pet store, and the owner said ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

I have a beautiful black and red one you can have for $5....

Let God guide you - Not! 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Shaking more than 3 times is masturbation.... remember god is watching you....

That look is not extinct, even if the diplodocus who sported it has been long since fossilized.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

"The end is near why not have a cone?" Sure why not?... Ok that'll be 5 bucks... So where you going to spend the money if the end is near?... STFU and get out of here already...

The Republic of Ireland have announced that as the only EU state in the British Isles they will use ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Benny Hill the new years......

Food for thought...I'll let myself out...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Amazing how many professed non-believers get their panties in a bunch over this one....

Good morning all

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 2, 2022:

Morning my ass in another hour it will just be bedtime for me...

Well, they have to explain everything.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2022:

https://youtu.be/tcQgJj-4TZY

It really didn't take any thought at all...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2022:

Now that is a burn....

The chase begins

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2022:

Love the addition of the grave site....

Sure seems that way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2022:

We is what we is and that is all we is....

Clotile is home, NAKED, happily jumping on her bed & squealing with delight.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 1, 2022:

Ask a stupid question....

A Bama Fan goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2022:

What a coincidence.....

Little known hysterical fact

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2022:

Another little known fact is that the lego piece was developed after a careful study of the Punji stick... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punji_stick

Somewhere in Alabama 🤔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 31, 2022:

This along with "Dueling Banjos" being played at the wedding says it all....

Wait, isn't this illegal in Alabama?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2022:

Good way for her to get her divorce....

Dads are not playing these days

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2022:

And daddy calls him his little jerk off.....

The message is clear

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2022:

It has teeth and it will bite....

I finally found a comeback.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 30, 2022:

Adding this one to my repertoire....

I know it's tough to figure how she did that, How are we going to get her out?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 29, 2022:

As dinner....

Just call me Daddy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Or a Pinto....

Ever been to Thailand?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

On;y problem I see with thailand is sorting out which were born women...

To almost quote a great visionary.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

The reason I consider myself to be an antitheist is that religion is primitive superstitious hate filled nonsense that does extreme damage to society.

Now U C me, now....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

Kia.... The car you want to sell off to some sucker before the odometer hits 100,000 miles and the wheels fall off.....

I'm single yet again, need to laugh! Hope you all have a great Saturday night!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 28, 2022:

So who did what to whom this time?.... Maybe you should just get a pet monkey and a blow up doll as long as you keep a patch kit and a bicycle pump handy you will never be disappointed....

Nasa just released this picture taken of Mars from the James Webb Telescope proving that there is ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Anywhere there is a bar you have barflies....

Christopher Titus [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

He did forget about Jan 6th though....

Watch your own self!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

Factory warning signs in the Deep South because "Hold ma beer an watch dis...."

Excellent idea

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 26, 2022:

One of these days I am going to bring apple juice to the VA when I go for my labs....

Whip it good!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2022:

Sounds a little kinky to me....

Some people don't think ahead. I bet it does attract attention.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2022:

See her on porn hub......

A faithful welcome

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 25, 2022:

20 minutes later the FBI showed up with a no knock warrant....

Farts and broccoli, a naturally nutritious combination leading to clouds of phosphoric emissions.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Optimistic pessimism at its finest.....

Another reason to not home school.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2022:

And the teachers were stepparents?....

This blew me away...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Tourists........

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 24, 2022:

Open strange envelope sitting on pillow and wonder why it contains divorce papers....

Now we know

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Contents of Trump's personal safe discovered by the FBI...

She said I take good photos

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Can't Understand Normal Thinking

She warned alright

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Good thing phones don't send bullets...

This is what happened...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Works for me....

Oh, don't want to forget wishing y'll...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

https://tenor.com/view/burgess-meredith-id-buy-that-for-a-dollar-angry-shout-scream-gif-16584898

Honestly, I asked and everyone started looking..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Don't look at me I have no fucking idea....

It's Tuesday, Just sayin....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Not going to flash my hairy chest at you so you can masturbate sorry....

Anyone complaining about the group?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Nope but people complain about me all the time..... https://youtu.be/RAkSkMRwPYs

Getting ready for the party next month, if you'd like more info message me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Throw some ice in the pool and just add beer....

I always worried about the dude with the yellow hat…..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Two weeks later....

Deven Green [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Proving that she isn't just trapped in a type cast role....

Some people can be really persuasive.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

I wouldn't date her if I were you.....

I'm not sure they even know what they want. How would you respond?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Don't tell me let me guess.... Texas right?....

Telling it like it is, even when it hurts.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

In China they don't go th extra mile they just pull a u-turn in the middle of traffic...

There are plenty around, so i won't have to go to the store.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Roast a rabbit and tell them it is cat....

Another reason not to have potato salad at a party.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

And people wondered why I never ate the stuff...

A lucky woman.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Run that by me again.... who is the lucky one?...

A helmet has always been a good idea - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

Nag, nag, nag.... No wonder they went a Viking...

We need to stamp that out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 23, 2022:

I know of very few men who would complain if their wives gave them "the silent treatment..." in fact most of them would rather enjoy the peace and quiet for a change....

Monday almost done, four more days! Hope you enjoy your evening!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Kids give the best answers....

He is just a kid at heart.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Sit down little girl we have some talking to do....

I probably ought to loosen up a little, how about you?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

How can you have a road rage problem if you don't have an isle rage problem in the stores?...

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Those old ladies can be kind of scary....

One of my dogs: Making a retching sort of sound. Me in bed: Oh, no, please don't... Ugh!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Simple buy a cheap tablet download an alarm you can change the sound to and record your dog vomiting...

I think he will win the case

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

"Ask Pornhub...."

At least she didn't fly away.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

And she wonders why you don't call on mother's day...

Sometimes the stupid hurts. This time it is hilarious.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

The first clue was when they bought an iphone..... The i in iphone stands for idiot....

He never paid attention when mom was cooking.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

Gad he sounds like my mother..... she burned everything she cooked.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 22, 2022:

At least he doesn't have to get butt-fucked by the priest for the next four months....

Happy Sunday! Going to make queso for my daughter's visit today! Hope you all have a good day!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2022:

Parzosin is NOT an antibiotic.... It is an anti-anxiety medication that is also used for high blood pressure and to help people with PTSD to sleep better.

Poor prophets !

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 21, 2022:

Only in regular churches the Televangelists are still rolling in the dough unfortunately...

Redneck life hack.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

I used to see shit like this when I was stationed in the South....

It seems to be a problem everywhere

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

I use mine on my ebike they just don't blink.... My turn signals are just off and on only.

Enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Doggy looks scared.... He better not disturb kitty's nap or he is going to be neutered.....

I'm not going to ask for it back.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Shocked he didn't pop it trying to climb onboard...

Rufus Thibodeaux of Opelousas drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the Bubba Oustalet ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

I wouldn't have stopped ...

Damn, busted!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Well I guess the cat is out of the bag....

I need this!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Yep that is me....

Wishes may just come true.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 20, 2022:

Well how about that.... https://youtu.be/HKh6XxYbbIc