Clever washroom doors!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 16, 2021:

Soooo the one on the right is Adam Sandler's personal bathroom?.... https://youtu.be/ilNSP4ALpGg

A good night prayer....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 16, 2021:

All I have to say is you must live in a shithole neighborhood....

Three Jack o'lanterns and one jack off. Who says covid and Halloween don't mix?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

...................

I imagine you'd make this mistake just one time.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

That would be a pain in the... Though no doubt they will be using these for home abortions in Texas soon...

Seems that way

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

What they get for hiring in Texas.... Though the blow up dolls are probably a lot smarter than the old anti-vaxxer pilots.

Does that mean I'm fated to die by carpal tunnel?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

As ironic as....

Sounds great to me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

Best version of that show was called Adult Wednesday Addams.... A youtube show that was taken down for copyright violations.... Thankfully I downloaded the entire series before that happened...

Beware or the snake

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

Be careful girls that snake spits venom that can cause you to swell up like a sows belly....

Things not to say during a fight...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

He must be talking about my ex-wife and slandering Lucifer because she wasn't that nice....

D'oh 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 15, 2021:

Looks like a member of the Donny Dumbass militia....

I tested negative for sympathy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Sympathy is just another word between shit a syphilis in the dictionary...

Round in circles we go.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Sounds legit.....

The beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

If Zombies depended on Christians for their food supply they would starve...

Full service, but no sex.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

How to know when you reached New Orleans....

Finally, a way to get the anti-vaxxers to get a shot.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Hey anti-vaxxers are so stupid they might believe it...

You know if he did exist, he would be toxic

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 14, 2021:

Fried or boiled?...

It's all in how you look at it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

...................

That could work lmao

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

I doubt Republicans would know the difference much less notice.....

Billionaires Explain Why Space Is The Next Frontier [theonion.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

My reason is I want a prison asteroid to put all the billionaires on....

I really don't think they thought the regulations all the way through.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

Should have asked for the one with the cheese on her furburger....

Let me explain to you what mansplaining means.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

That he doesn't know how to get laid....

Finally in season

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

Knew I was leaving it for some reason.... I guess I just like authenticity...

Old Joseph was not as dumb as Mary thought

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

In her case Three wise guys who showed up with presents....

Guess the sign boy doesn't get that ticket to heaven.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

We can be sure Pastor Kenny had a lot of explaining to do....

I'm sure they thought they had something special.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 13, 2021:

Might as well have said they hang out on Pornhub way too much....

Dirty Snow White

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

Beat me Snow and make me write bad checks...

Yeah give your kids nightmares

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

Some red paint for blood and servo motors and those kids are fucked for life...

So you don't trust science.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

Or a union worker voting Republican because they "hate socialism..."

For all the cat lovers out there.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

And your cat wants to be god...

Yup that's one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

We had some like that in our neighborhood growing up.... Our solution was simple and involved birthday candles and M-80s.....

Advice for living ...[agnostic.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

That'll show em....

Olive's solution

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 12, 2021:

Popeye's solution... "Hand me the Olive Oil and roll over baby I am goin in...."

Since I seldom listen to today's pop singers, am I right?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2021:

A well known fact....

Halloween rumble

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Time to get me some pumpkins....

Should have known

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Most of them Republicans....

Poor Chris lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Kiss this Chris....

This is how it goes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 11, 2021:

Cheap date I am betting she is popular....

Dunno whose 'science' this is, but worth a try! 😄

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2021:

In Florduh mosquitoes have been known to drink bath salts mixed with Everclear so no this won't work....

Awesome job Bill

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 10, 2021:

Oldest leg humper in known space....

I hear they're hireling! $14.25 hr.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 9, 2021:

Here in CA they are required to pay at least $15 an hour and nobody will work for them for less than $17.50 because the jobs are shit and everyone else is paying more anyway...

What is your bread and butter?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2021:

Have you been smoking meth again?....

Do ya suppose?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2021:

Celebrity Presidential apprentice..... Fuck off already we fired your dumb ass....

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2021:

There are many times I wish I had done something like this....

I think we all know someone ...........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2021:

Drop a cherry bomb down the vent pipe... It may not clear the air but....

Good morning all...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 8, 2021:

Seems like a real sweet girl....

Yup. It checks out.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Cripes most of these fuckers can't even balance their own checkbooks....

I never did that lmao

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

The sad part is that is promoting conspiracy theories or domestic terrorism is about all Facebook is anymore....

Which are you lmao

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

I always said it takes all kinds to make a world....

Yup possible

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

I think we know a few of them here....

Interesting times

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Just think if it had been a Porsche.....

Funny and sad at the same time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Poor sheep.....

Poor billionaires

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Awww the poor Republicans in congress will all have to go on unemployment.....

Funny and quite cerebral at the same time. [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 7, 2021:

Nothing to see here folks just more stupid anti-vaxxer content youtube promised to remove and hasn't done so...

Anyone else got more?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Military Intelligence Honest politicians Republican Patriot...

Anyone else got more?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

School for the gifted National Intelligence Alternate facts Public servant Shall I go on?

I know it was traumatic for some

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Truthfully I didn't even know about it until it hit the news in the same article as the whistleblower was mentioned in....

I didn't even miss it... much

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Yeah I heard it was down for about 6 hours.... Oddly it was right after the leak of thousands of documents proving Facebook was all but sponsoring domestic terrorism.....

Unseen danger ahead

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Dog mines.... You never know when or where you will step on one....

They lost a day of "research".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 6, 2021:

Move over thinker here comes the stinker....

Why I hate facebook

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2021:

You forgot the puppy nose and ears....

A dad overhears his daughter.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 5, 2021:

Well you know how mailmen are about putting things in open slots....

Too true. Too true!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

"So many stupid people so few bullets..."

Ah, nothing better than a trek in the wilderness

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Why didn't I think of that while I was married?....

Tax Deadline in 11 days.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

There went the copier.... Poor thing had a heart attack...

Saw a psychopath

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

I wasn't aware the crap they call "coffee" at Starsucks actually was coffee.... Mostly it seems to be overly flavored gunk...

Why Life Jackets Should Be Mandatory! [rumble.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

More stupid anti-vaxxer nonsense nothing to see here folks....

Went for a ride last night! Had some engine trouble!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Engine fire?... Must have been a gas leak...

It sucks to bee me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 4, 2021:

Male Black Widow spiders have a similar problem she lets him tie her up then he hopes he can get off before she breaks loose and eats him...

Cooking made fun [vm.tiktok.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2021:

I bet that cucumber enjoyed making that video....

Oh dear! Some things you can't just unsee! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2021:

....................

Wait until he gets his claws in him!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 3, 2021:

My guess is it's an... er... win....

Poor guy..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2021:

"You should have seen it Martha the damned thing was as big as a whale and swallowed me whole! I came back as soon as the damned thing shit me out!

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Doctors orders no doubt because his liver was shot to hell....

Flowchart for an asshole.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Forgot to tell them more is better and a 50KW UV lamp is best....

Afternoon snack ?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 2, 2021:

Well Texass and Floraduh are fucked... plenty of zombies but nothing to feed them.

No. Superheroes land like squirrels. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2021:

https://youtu.be/EwUilIo036g

There's also a talking snake 🐍 and an apple 🍎 that ruined the world 🌎

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2021:

I love the smell of butthurt in the morning....

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Oct 1, 2021:

These days some stupid bimbo has 19 kids they give her a TV show ....

You can't trust rocks with eyes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2021:

Someone got a free meal at "Starving Artists Cafe and Take out..."

Admit it. You sang it, didn't you? 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2021:

The bonds of unholy wazzat-ormony....

3 out of 4 ain't bad...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 30, 2021:

I am just not equipped to be nice to stupid people....

Santa's sleigh will be extra heavy this year.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

He better add in some reading lessons for these dumb motherfuckers too...

Now that's a upgrade

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

As long as biting isn't allowed....

Progress in technology lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

Available in a sex toy store near you in the state of Texas...

They had to put a sign! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

Caution: could cause a pain in the ass...

praise god amen.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

People keep misinterpreting the old saw about "Jesus being hung..."on the cross....

Can't wait for the Netflix documentary!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 29, 2021:

So she is a connoisseur then?....

Political correctness in 2021.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Nice to see proof that Nazi rhetoric is still a part of so-called "liberal" thinking and not just a part of normalized GQP speech....

The Russians are coming, fill your tank up and hide the women! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2021:

BREXIT at work....

This is a good one

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2021:

.................

What's good for one is good for all.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 28, 2021:

Another way people are hypocrites....

Be wary of hugs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2021:

And a free meal...

Yeah seems stupid

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2021:

In all fairness the way people act these days he may have mistaken it for a representative sample of the dominate intelligent life-form on this planet...

QAnon doctors.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2021:

Hope he believes in washing his hands.... Wondering if he uses the same finger as a rectal thermometer as well....

When I go grocery shopping by myself! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 27, 2021:

Don't really have that problem here ... plenty of clerks and all willing to help and most of the customers are happy to help you get something off the top shelf as well. The only stores which this isn't true seem to be the big chains from outside the state.... Never enough employees and those that are around all seem to be slackers who are underpaid. They just hang around to collect a paycheck is all.

Not all of course, but some Chinese food sucks! :-D

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2021:

.....................

That would be fun

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2021:

Transvestite nuns smoking a fatty and drinking Mad Dog 20/20.... What a sight that would be in front of a Catholic church on a Sunday morning....

Redneck engineering

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 26, 2021:

But he has great air conditioning....

Becky seems like a fun person

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2021:

I'll drink to that....

One night I asked my Scottish friend how many sexual partners he’s had.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Sep 25, 2021:

https://youtu.be/PZuHAsf6qO0