Not ordering from that Chinese restaurant again

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

https://youtu.be/Z8zEfYbsrr0

Sure, i believe you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Translation...: "I am tired of going to the mall and having everyone say I ate Taylor Swift..."

Disappointed

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

........................

Definitely dark

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

.......................

That didn't go very well

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

................

Just did it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

...................

Someone's in trouble!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

The Babble says you should "love thy neighbor..." but he may have taken it a bit to literally.

Very handy item

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2021:

Baseball bats are an excellent tool for knocking some sense into a Klan member...

Makes a lot of sense to everyone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

embarrassing when you fart so hard you blow yourself out of the sky....

Gene pool...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Gene Quintano...

She wanted an honest man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I think the youngest is actually "Pin Pricks..."

Dont want rice

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

......................

Love my life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Aaaah the good life....

No free ride

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

........................

Life is a

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I used to drink it just like that....

Oldie but goodie...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

As if that was the worst of those old ads...

An oldie but a goodie ( easy to believe!)...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

As John Bolton put it... "Trump isn't capable of staging a coup...

Surprise. surprise...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

My guess is somebody is is joining the ranks of the unemployed and homeless really soon...

I always loved this LP cover, & it was a funny, trippy listen, too!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

I used to listen to them every Sunday night along with DR Demento and Flo and Eddie by the fireside on KMET in LA....

Is Astrology a real thing?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2021:

Astrology is not a science nor is it real. It was invented by philosophers around the third century BCE to con rulers into hiring them for important advisory posts in their courts. Of course ignorant rulers considered them wise because they "consulted the stars" to give them commonsense (and more often outrageously stupid based in personal greed) answers. Astrology allows the practitioner to fleece the ignorant by using generalized "predictions" which most often could apply to anyone and is cases where more detailed "predictions" are required for a specific mark by studying the information available on said victim. it is no different from the Gypsy palm readers who con victims out of tens of thousands of dollars telling them the money is "cursed" and to bring it to them to be "cleansed" then wrap it up in a piece of cloth, say a few words of hocus pocus then instruct the victim to take the money home and wait three days sleeping with it under their pillow. Of course when the victim finally does unwrap this money they find out they just gave this conartist a three day head start and they have already opened up shop in another state looking for the next chump. Astrologers, palm readers, priests, snake oil salesmen, Nigerian scammers, love scammers and all the rest should be treated with contempt as the criminals they are...

You may find yourself

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

J.A.T.O. unit.... https://youtu.be/enzDKTkK_Eg

Should I follow my mom's advice 🤔

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Emergency funds?...

Gotta love a good mash-up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Sounds like Bill Cosby... Puddin it where it don't belong...

Seen that before

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

You should never wear stretch pants over something as large as Uranus....

Imagine all the....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

Sheeple?....

Total lack of self-awareness

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I wonder if they see it?...

Morning all...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2021:

I have four cats that weigh somewhere around a total of 60+ pounds... I think the injuries from them in full attack mode would have any burglar begging to be shot...

Give him room, stay in your lane...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

So that is @BDair head.... Now it all makes sense...

Texts & auto-corrects...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Problem is these are an actual representation of the average mentality in the world today... which explains why things are so fucked up.

Shh, we're hunting the ewusive taco. Be vewy, vewy quiet...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

Funny how Libertarians always seem to be the most dependent on the same society they loudly proclaim they could do without....

Viagra does work

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2021:

.....................

So alone, so lonely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

Kind of funny isn't it how even when living with family or in a roommate situation with several people you always seem to feel on guard or alone...

Disney

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

....................

An apt description of them

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

.....................

My new hobby.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

One way to get rid of hunters....

Covid

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

Oh great more stupid from the far reich anti-vax and anti-maskers....

That magic word

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

........................

Okay someone shared this on another social media site and I had to find it to share here as I needed...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

....................

Just don't do it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 14, 2021:

..................

Christian Actor Says He’s Lost Roles and Money for Being Faithful to His Wife | Beth Stoneburner |...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2021:

So what dipshit is saying is... "Give me the roles and pay me the money so I can refuse to do the work they require?..." That is like someone taking a job selling something in a store then saying the items they are selling violates their religious beliefs so they can't sell them and expecting to get paid for the job they refuse to do... Or a Vegan getting a job in a restaurant that doesn't serve the kind of food they eat then refusing to do the work yet expecting a pay check. Ain't life a bitch?

That I believe lmao

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2021:

After of course wiping her ass with the constitution....

I certainly feel that way every time

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

https://youtu.be/kBDyTfxx5Bo

I was done playing with it, anyway...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

When I left for my first duty station in the Marines I got a letter from my mother complaining my cat had left a possum in the pool...

I guess I can give her that, tho I wouldn't have put it past her...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

Too bad she didn't write that type of crap.... The latest news from the "Ayn Rand Institute" is that the people who died in the Floriduh condo collapse "deserved to die for living there..."

As a bit of Response to the previous inane Post...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

You misspelled *asinine*

Have you seen my....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

Choir boys got up too....

Absolutely too many times

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

On a daily basis unfortunately....

Hopefully not too long now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

Considering his business and CFO have both been indicted on RICO charges it shouldn't be long now... Then there is the FEC investigation into Ivanka which appears to have already lead to half the family facing charges of perjury and obstruction of justice....

What he will likely recommend next.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2021:

Stupid person posting stupid memes... go figure...

That would be a real scream

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Actually I am kind of hoping we see a repeat of some of the more spectacular early Russian launch attempts...

So alone, so lonely.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

We all are alone to some degree but we make the decision most of the time to be completely alone for ourselves out of fear.

Probably deciding who goes first

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Kind of hoping they all end up under the bus together...

I call this meme WTF

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

When you just want to step out for a breath of fresh air....

Now that makes more sense than suing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

He has always failed upwards it seems...

This might come in handy.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Must have stopped off for a clone job...

Only works on one thing

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

........................

My life for sure

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Off the rails....

Here's a thought...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Deport the sex offenders and it will be simply trading racist Republicans for refugees...

Just not usually highly motivated...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

................

Just. like. chill, dude...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Why I am highly motivated to enjoy life and take it easy....

When I was a little kid I thought all cats were girls & all dogs were boys.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Mostly because of all those incel kids who called themselves "dawgs" and talking about all the "pussy" they were supposedly getting right?

Wonder for how long it would work...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

I want one in front of my house of a huge crack with a demon crawling out....

Just hilarious

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

............................

Sometimes you just shake your head

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2021:

Fuck that let em...

Brian thought his tatoo was brilliant.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

I bet he wondered how they caught him....

Once again we are coming into coyote season...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

https://youtu.be/B69ew9FtRF0

I don't need sleep, I need answers!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

........................

Why is it acceptable

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

I figure they aren't going to like me anyway so why not point it out and enjoy the outrage?....

I have an entire garage full of them, but somehow when I need one, it's never the right size! Then ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

When my grandmother died and we cleaned out the house there were rooms with drawers and boxes filled with nothing but plastic bags.... But we already knew she was batshit insane... Well everyone but my mother knew anyway.... Kind of runs in the family another reason I am so glad I was adopted.

The Truth hurts

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

In the first grade when I was sent to the office for reading Willy Ley instead of reading "See Tom run, run Tom run" with the rest of the class.....

OK, kinda cheesy, but actually 2 jokes in 1...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Especially in March...

Dating has not been easy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

In the 7th grade I put a little cartoon at the bottom of a history test titled "Custards last stand..." Teacher had no sense of humor and sent me too the office....

The perfect footwear for a day at the beach!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Bring real beer not that shit Redneck crap like Buttwiper...

"Ward, don't be so tough on the Beaver." "Mom, I'm Wally! Shit, you've been smoking my stash, too!"

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Every little bit helps when you are dealing with kids...

Still in a Friday state of mind...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Ahh yes I remember those days well...

At least this one never claimed he was a "stable genius"...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Prayer fail....

god i wish that were me.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Never underestimate us old fuckers we still know how to start a fire in the bedroom....

I like this tee shirt

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Question is where could they be deported to?... I can't think of any country stupid enough to take them....

Great sign should be more if them

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

....................

Don't hire this guy to do your roof repair, your insurance rates will increase, and he will just be ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Jesus is that you?...

That's what happens when you've been sheltered and isolated for your whole life.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

https://youtu.be/D0qDW9shiD8

Also, I'm slightly dishartened about how few people in CO are still active here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Maybe you should consider looking around more and finding out about new places. If you did you might find Colorado isn't the end all be all place you seem to think it is now.

Our Government Is Creating A Cryptocurrency | What You MUST Know - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2021:

Credit cards are a form of crypto currency... so is what is in your bank account. Most people don't realize what a crypto currency is and think crap like "BitCoin" is a good investment. News flash it isn't while bank accounts are insured against losses by the government bit coin is not. Private crypto currencies have zero value and are a scam and many of these are being run up in price by billionaires who will then cash out and devalue them leaving the gullible stuck with a bunch of worthless ones and zeros in the cloud.

Gonna need extra TP after that!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 8, 2021:

Has to be better than the book "Chicken soup for the soul" I wouldn't even use that one to wipe my ass with for fear of a horrendous rash....

Well, maybe that and several million dollars

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 8, 2021:

Oddly I wrote a paper on religion and how it affects people a few years back which was picked up to be taught in a class on sociology maybe I should have asked for an honorary degree?...

Follow me for more dating tips

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Find me in the fertilizer isle.....

Two sleezeballs

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Must have been Jello shots....

It's not all just Florida man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Newsflash those are in the men's department at a Floriduh Walmart near you.....

To those who don't like door to door salesmen... (coming to a town near you)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 7, 2021:

Big Pharma should be socialized and the profits used for research instead of lining billionaires pockets instead of looting the economy for billions every year by inflating their prices for medications people need but can't afford because their health insurance refuses to cover it.... Same goes for health insurance. #MedicareForAll would give us more hospitals, more doctors and nurses, better coverage and no medical bankruptcies...

Pray for rain

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 5, 2021:

I would be happy to stop by and piss on it for them...

If something here offends you

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 5, 2021:

If I haven't managed to offend you yet please be patient I will get around to you sooner or later....

I like turtles...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

So did you want to bring your girlfriend on a date along with us?...

Dawkins would be proud...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

Being an atheist only means believing in one less god than they do....

Yes, if done right!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

If she doesn't want the sex why does she want the guys?...

Hell, Caesar...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 4, 2021:

At least he got the point....

This is so true! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

And so many men wonder why women get involved with guys like that and then say we are all the same...

now you tell me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Punctuation and spelling is at times more important than grammar....

Be a fun-loving twister. 😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Insanity is the best defense against a hostile world...

Fun exercise

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

I'll go for beaver but not squirrel....

“I’m alright.” Really

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 3, 2021:

Damn it thanks to you I ended up having "second breakfast" and it didn't taste all that good the first time....