A sick sense of humor entertains all your friends

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2022:

In a red state he would have the whole neighborhood congratulating him....

Seems correct to me

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2022:

Considering the Russian Army has lost almost 20% of its equipment and at least 15% of its personnel (killed, wounded, captured or just plain deserted) which is a huge chunk of its economy I think we are already close to this as reality....

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 19, 2022:

This is also the situation in Putin's Russia so it is most timely....

More ironic than funny

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 18, 2022:

Just sit back and enjoy the show and stop being a C.U.N.T.

He has a point 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 17, 2022:

Sorry you lost me at "anti-vax"

"The American war aim is not to spare Ukraine, but to ruin Russia. That takes time." . . ?.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2022:

Nothing like citing far right-wing Russian propaganda.... editor in chief of this outfit is now Joe Lauria from Fox fake news and AOL which is owned by AT&T who is the sole funding for the far right-wing One American News which has spewed so much far right-wing garbage even Direct TV is canceling them I rate this as Russian propaganda....

A sign of the times? Definitely! :-)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 16, 2022:

Corporate greed at its finest......

I'm not buying it either Rebecca.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2022:

From the family tales about me I was speaking in sentences at 18 months and toilet trained myself...

Groanavirus!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2022:

I can drive around for a week on 20 cents with my ebike...

Hope it catches on

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 15, 2022:

My cats and I are all willing to give generously....

Goodbye, Scarecrow.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 12, 2022:

Damned Trumpanzees are so easily butthurt....

Shine on!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2022:

Now that is what I call "bling..."

Breaking news!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2022:

I hear their 100 ruble menu is going to be a 10,000 ruble menu when they reopen....

A wise man once said....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2022:

Me growing up....

Another good reason NOT to buy from Amazon.... [dailykos.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 11, 2022:

As for me....

Ever wonder why we have Trump supporters in the world?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2022:

I would have laughed my ass off at the whole bunch of them.... That dumbass narrator and his "scientific experimenters" are fools. Not everyone has a need to be a part of the crowd there is a very high percentage that gets larger every year who would rather think for themselves.

These people! 🤣😆🤮😂🥲😋👍🤪

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 10, 2022:

The real "gas prices don't affect me" starter pack....

Maybe it just hasn't been a very goodyear.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 7, 2022:

I don't know about that .... looks like at least 365 used rubbers to me so it had to have been a great year for someone...

Ron DeSantis Bullies Kids Into Doing Whatever They Want - [babylonbee.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

You do know that is NOT a real news site right?....

Gone Missing.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

Sounds right for this post...

It takes ALL kinds, I guess.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

He bought it at Walmart....

Sexy or something else?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

What Christians really think of atheists....

Anything for a hot chick, who's waiting,..right?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

I am shocked he didn't just turn that cross upside down and use it as a pogo-stick

I knew there was more to "Life of Brian".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 4, 2022:

And people misunderstood her when she said to he John.... "God damn it what do you mean the condom broke?..."

Are they relatives

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2022:

The Baboons resent that insinuation....

When archeology contradicts religion

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2022:

Reality.....

Is truth sexy or bitter?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 2, 2022:

Time now owned by Fox News....

If there was a picture.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2022:

Thanks to anti-vaxxers.....

Well, what do ya know?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Mar 1, 2022:

He looks constipated doesn't he?....

I am so sorry....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 28, 2022:

If i could afford to fund a swear jar I would already be richer than Bill fucking Gates....

How to find an ideal man

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 27, 2022:

Some annoying people I know are not going to like this one....

Something to think about.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2022:

How little MAGAts know about science and history.... and how many books they have read by looking at the covers.

Yet one more reason to block.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 25, 2022:

I used to be able to do over 100 a day but now I am lucky to make 20... getting old sucks...

I had to smart off

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 24, 2022:

Some people just have no sense of humor....

Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2022:

Hookers and blow?....

Brave Great White Shark Allowed To Compete In Women's 500 Freestyle [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2022:

Oh look the same stupid outfit people like Rand Paul and Cancun Ted use for "news" on Shitter....

A diplomatic solution

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 23, 2022:

Russian C.U.N.T.?...

This what the Rightwingers say😂:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 20, 2022:

Does that include the Log Cabin Republicans?...

Hahaha 🤣…

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2022:

The difference between sloppy seconds and leftovers...

Hahaha 🤣…

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2022:

Stick a fork in it dinner is done....

That's a double Oh Oh for you Paul! 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 19, 2022:

Can you say Bot?....

Could be a poster child

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 18, 2022:

She is what happens when you eat lead paint off the walls....

Judge rules Donald Trump must testify in New York investigation [bbc.]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2022:

And hopefully the judge becomes annoyed by the lies and has him charged with perjury....

In keeping with the standards that have become the norm on this site (if they were ever different) I...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2022:

Ahhh somebody has been smoking the meth again.... How many atheists can you name who murdered a Christian for believing in god vs how many Christians have murdered atheists for not believing?.... Not to mention the hate and bigotry that Christians have towards others of different religious beliefs, skin color, or sexual and gender views?... How many pro-birthers are atheist vs Christians or even just who is trying to FORCE their religious beliefs on the rest of the country?... Newsflash it isn't us.

Texas Christian school officials arrested after 'concealing locker room assault' [bbc.]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2022:

I guess Jebus didn't protect them after all did he?....

E. O. Wilson: Science Explains Religion

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 17, 2022:

E. O. Wilson sounds like an idiot studying hard to be a moron and failing the course miserably.... Religion is not a "predisposition" it is the result of brainwashing children....

Dentist or scammer?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2022:

Well the fake face and hands could be a clue that it isn't a real person but as a general rule when people start out with phrases like "I am honest" and "fear of god" I feel it is time to call them a fucking scammer then do the block and report....

Happy Singles Awareness Day everyone!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 16, 2022:

Happy incel day?.....

When you come home from a long day at work! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Feb 4, 2022:

And people complain about cat hair on the couch....

Will it ever end....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 27, 2022:

It likely won't end until the last anti-vaxxer is dead.... https://www.11alive.com/article/news/politics/anti-vaccination-bill-georgia-senate/85-dabc52a2-9af8-464d-835b-ff41651725ef

A hookup at best, anyone?! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 27, 2022:

Perfect description of online dating...

As a matter of FACT....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 26, 2022:

Famous last words: "Hold ma beer an watch dis..."

Anticipation is making me wait! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 25, 2022:

Meanwhile in Florida.... https://youtu.be/QcbR1J_4ICg

🖐️🖐️🖐️🖐️🖐️ 😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Real asshole here no little bit about it....

That's what happens

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Please don't ban federal executions until these ones get their turn in front of a firing squad....

It's that time of year, again...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 24, 2022:

Guess I have to buy a couple boxes for a friend I can't eat them as a diabetic...

Honey the Meatloaf is done.... One more Hollywood conservative gone... [the-sun.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 22, 2022:

With luck Kid Schlock and Sgt Shittypants will be out of the gene pool soon as well...

23andme is a fake, rip-off scam website.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 21, 2022:

And they share your DNA profile with law enforcement....

Oh really now? Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 20, 2022:

And then of course comes the shart....

When you know that karma is coming thrice around.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 20, 2022:

I love telling superstitious dumbasses that the goddess Karma takes care of revenge for me so I don't have to waste my time when those people annoy me..... They usually end up in a minefield of their own creation and self destruct shortly afterwards....

Hope this poor bastard took a leak first. Looks like a long day.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 20, 2022:

Problem with this is wind turbines are connected to the power grid and the wind is always blowing somewhere.... My real problem with the death penalty is that Many people on death row have been falsely convicted and often by corrupt cops aided by corrupt DAs, judges, stacked and ignorant jury members in states like Texas they often just go ahead with the executions without allowing the new evidence that proves they are killing the wrong person. In Nevada they falsely arrested a Black man because he had the same name as a White man who was 3 inches taller, the wrong color skin and had a bushy beard and kept him in jail for over a week because they didn't bother to verify they had the right man. In Georgia a non-violent Black man was attacked from behind and injured by a racist cop while being checked out by another cop who had already verified that he was NOT the suspect they were looking for. This is just two of many pending lawsuits against the police in the US at this time ranging from false arrest to wrongful death...

Accurate assessment...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 18, 2022:

and what did they do?... Voted to put yet another Trump appointee in charge to keep everything fucked up.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2022:

I buy those for my cats all the time. They are made from cardboard and the cats love ripping them apart so it saves wear and tear on the furniture....

Wherever there is a crowd, there is an ice-cream van. Brits are a weird bunch. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Well that is one way to calm down children having a tantrum.....

I had found another interesting shell casing on my walk today.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Looks like part of a very old powder measuring bucket for a muzzle loader so it likely dates pre-civil war....

10 year challenge.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2022:

So many people lost their heads over cake that year....

Oh no another blonde joke.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 17, 2022:

Sent this to a blonde friend and she thought it was funny as hell....

I had a dream last night.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 15, 2022:

Does she leave the cuffs on all night?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 15, 2022:

I loved this song as a kid....

I hope you are ready

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 15, 2022:

And yet most of this would be unnecessary if it weren't for moronic anti-science antivaxxers who are acting as breeding grounds for new variants along with greedy big pharmaceutical corporations that over price their products so poor countries can't afford to vaccinate their populations...

But he loves Mr. Beaky.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 14, 2022:

And she already has a pussy of her own....

A medical helicopter crashed in Philadelphia and it is being called a “miracle of the almighty ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2022:

It didn't crash the pilot managed to auto-rotate the bird down or everyone would have been dead.... It wasn't a "miracle" it was luck and good piloting.

The KJV Bible may soon be a textbook in Oklahoma classrooms - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2022:

This could result in their public schools losing federal funding...

How a Pastor Stole a $25,000.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2022:

Then after attending that church for years their son tells them he no longer wants to go to church because the priest has been raping him.... News flash the only people I know who actually read the bible decided it was a bunch of horseshit and left the Christian religion....

Seems like this wasn't such a bright idea.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 13, 2022:

He used to be the tallest guy his friends knew but now he is a foot shorter.....

Poor floor!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 12, 2022:

Why I don't like letting people in my house....

😆😂🤣

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2022:

That is my little girl Rocket.... A Siamese/Tabby mix who when the other cats give her shit she just hisses and slaps them on the head. She is the matriarch of the clan.

The first liar never stands a chance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 11, 2022:

Gift shopping in Texas....

Now that explains a lot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 10, 2022:

https://youtu.be/nodgkwkmaW0

Seriously! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 10, 2022:

Sometimes you just have to tell them.... https://youtu.be/qileP4bAzek

[youtu.be] Coronavirus Rhapsody

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 9, 2022:

Corona virus reality....

Dealing with fake family this week! LMAO!!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 7, 2022:

Ask them "if you have so much joy inside how come you are such a hate-filled asshole all the time?"

She fell in love!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 7, 2022:

I don't have to mock them..... religious beliefs are self-mocking all you have to do is point it out....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2022:

WHAT......?

You're an extreme redneck when.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2022:

#6 Should read "Hold ma beer and watch dis..." And number #12 "You complement the local beauty queen by saying "nice tooth"..."

God's Gift - Cyanide & Happiness Shorts [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 6, 2022:

Question that comes to my mind is was god telling Adam to go fuck himself by creating Eve from his rib?

It already feels this way.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jan 4, 2022:

Or girlfriend....

This made me laugh.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2021:

In addition to the "og" underneath they should add "AKA Sonic" I bet he would love that....

The right energy for 2022| Happy New Year! Vir Das [youtube.com]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 31, 2021:

Never could have said it better.....

10 characters

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2021:

Fuck Chuck Boresus....

That was a mistake

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 30, 2021:

Same thing happened to me at Chuck E. Cheese who would have guessed their mascot was a giant rat....

Little Shemale Angels.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Heads or tails?...

So say the incels...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Which is probably one of many reasons they can't get laid....

Vote for the GQP, cut your own throat...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Republicans rant about "tax and spend Democrats" like that is a bad thing while they run up the debt by not taxing and spending even more....

Not even one, anymore...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2021:

...................

Florida Man Claims to Have No Idea How Drugs Got Taped to His Penis The Associated Press reports ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 24, 2021:

Sounds like he got screwed....

I don't know if a blond guy should post this joke, here it goes anyway.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 22, 2021:

Thankfully I am bald...

A LOT better than that fucking elf.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2021:

"Is his nose cold?...."

Bet they regret it now

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 21, 2021:

..................

Some of us have it worse than others!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Dec 20, 2021:

Usual thinking of the self absorbed.....