Hangdog look.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Except for this guy...

At the controls...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 10, 2019:

Every time someone talks about chemtrails I think to myself....

Am I that uncle?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 9, 2019:

I like Stan's thinking... My take has always been when people call me a pessimist I explain I am an optimistic pessimist... I know things are fucked but if I keep laughing people think I am crazy and leave me out of the fucked up mess they create for themselves...

Don't think I could deal with that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 8, 2019:

Oh God Book 3...

This is the response from Candice Keller, an Ohio HR Republican who is running for State Senate, to ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Funny how the vast majority of those shooters not only are Christian but come from those "traditional families..." FYI she looks like a really low grade drag queen herself.... Yeah I told her that publicly on Twitter...

This guy is SERIOUS about his biking safety.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

I didn't know they had bike lanes in Texass...

Religious education.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

I see they didn't bother to teach English at that school either...

So it's not just me...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Considering he was Methodist and refused to wear a chastity belt I think we know where it all started.... Later he converted to Secular Humanism it seems...

Yeah, that's true.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Fucking junk food...

Seems appropriate these days

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

And we get called "terrorists..."

You know you were thinking it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 6, 2019:

Doesn't seem to be a lot of Spider Robinson fans here...

Mr. Potato head

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 5, 2019:

And yet upside down Mr. Potato Head not only looks smarter he is smarter...

You did say bad taste 😉

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 4, 2019:

Want some more?...

Aaand trouble in 3...2...1....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 4, 2019:

https://youtu.be/pjFTubAdXP8

I'll head right over there!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 4, 2019:

Walmart?...

What best describes Trump as a president?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 4, 2019:

He is a scumbag magnet...

One for the history books

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 3, 2019:

He did it first...

Hot pocket

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 3, 2019:

Did somebody say hot pocket?...

Random memes

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2019:

https://youtu.be/6l1GvDWtccI

That is dark

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2019:

Love my coffee...

Windbag.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2019:

https://www.funnyordie.com/2019/7/30/20747838/trump-robot-spits-ibuprofen-whenever-president-tweets

Meth helluva drug! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2019:

Well it could be the acid .... In Long Beach after the Deadheads got out of the concert you had to be careful driving around because they were just wandering around talking to trees.... But in all fairness he is wearing the right hoody...

Mmmm bacon

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 2, 2019:

https://youtu.be/isMFxOLbiro

EODead........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Aug 1, 2019:

Nothing like going out with a bang...

Rant on Televised Political Coverage.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 31, 2019:

Try NPR... https://www.mtpr.org/post/live-fact-checking-july-30-democratic-debate

Great name for a fudge factory.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2019:

I always liked their fudge ads...

Ah's been mispelled and mislead.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2019:

The first reply was sexting...

Imagine being the one who reported the incident and reading this.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2019:

Mmmmmmmmmm Baby....

So confusing...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 30, 2019:

Because it's not unusual....

Truth be told

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2019:

Because arming terrorists makes a country unsafe...

California has got to quit!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2019:

Why doesn't the Deep South have restrooms for Transgendered people?.... Because people there are so dumb they would think it was a place to get their transmission fixed in their pick up trucks...

How's this for offensive? Jackass

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2019:

I can top it...

Nailed it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 29, 2019:

Hey Zeus makes great tacos...

Good question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2019:

https://youtu.be/qB2H-Gp0nlE

Good question.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 28, 2019:

Well I am sure we can make a good gas.... er... guess...

Ba ba white sheep have you any brains

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2019:

https://vimeo.com/349649184?ref=fb-share&1=IwAR3Gk5GtLreqbmgaz61T9cIKj5yquwBo7dP0767bwSMKvbNWI0riMbEu1UQ

Some are..

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2019:

Way too many...

Is it just me or do Christian movies always have terrible acting?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 27, 2019:

The only thing I like about those crap films is writing reviews on them....

Wooo hoooo!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 26, 2019:

Not really.... https://youtu.be/u5HOt0ZOcYk

'In God We Trust' Signs Go Up In South Dakota Public Schools, As Required By Law : NPR

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 25, 2019:

Time to swap the "D" and "G"...

It really happened.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 25, 2019:

The best part of all this is the guy who created that graphic was a Republican.... https://theguardiansofdemocracy.com/creator-of-doctored-trump-presidential-seal-is-a-republican-who-despises-trump/

Some misanthropic ones

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 24, 2019:

Love that hunter....

Scientific fact!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

Far too many of them all through the ages...

I really want to see this tennis match.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

The people holding the rights to the "Dumb and Dumber" movies are suing for copyright infringement...

It does help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

Cats can be very neurotic....

Well, well, well.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

https://youtu.be/lOfZLb33uCg

Pretty accurate

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

Even more so...

Rules about self promotion?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

The way it works is pretty much universal.... If your are putting up something worth watching people will.... If you fuck it up people will ignore you...

I’ll still be posting my videos on here but I finally made a YouTube channel to get my comedy out ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

It is good you are putting yourself out there. Keep working at it and someday if you really want this you might just make it big... Never be afraid to chase your dreams. PS You have a new subscriber...

Fear of Death

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 23, 2019:

I don't want to die but all the same I know I eventually will.... Fear it? No why should I fear what is going to happen fear or no fear? To live a life of fear isn't living...

If you ever watched Star Trek...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

I have most of the Startrek episodes from all the series and the movies as well... It was a joke dating back to the 1960s' (at least with my friends and I)that if someone was wearing a red shirt you knew who was going to die in that episode but a week or two later they would be back with a different name and another red shirt...

Sad, but true

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Same goes for Christians like Churchill and every other religion...

So that's how!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Sounds about right to me...

Subway cancels new ad campaign....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

LMAO I am really wondering how many of you get this...^^^^

Nuff said. F%n losers.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Too many generations of Bro and Sis towels in the Master Bathroom....

Yeah! Two for one: hydration and demolition!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

Don't forget the beer Paul is thirsty...

more for ya

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 22, 2019:

And a few back at you...

Found this table on the side of the road and decided to refurbish it.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Very nice work out here you could make a really nice living doing pieces like this.

1. How many are on this site looking for a companion?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I live in Southern California why would I want to move elsewhere?... Next year my income should go up enough for me to pay off my home and make some improvements to it so I can sell it for enough to relocate closer to the beach. Or if I make up my mind to stay here I can be debt free in about 5 years.

Me on my death bed...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I got to thinking about the possible conversation between God, Adam & Eve, and the snake within the Garden of Eden; so here’s what I think was said. [Adam walks up to God at the tree of knowledge] ADAM: God, I need to talk to you GOD: yea Adam, what do you want now? ADAM: I’m horny as hell, I want a woman to screw, and I’m tired of just jerking off all the time while watching the chimpanzees fuck GOD: Ok but I'll need one of your ribs then. ADAM: Why? GOD: I ran out of “lady making stuff” ADAM: you said you built this whole universe just by saying some magical words, so why can’t you just create a woman just by saying some magical words over some mud like you did with me? GOD: because I make the male of the species from mud then I need its DNA to create its mate ADAM: why not make both from mud? GOD: because that’s how I do it, case closed ADAM: hang on I just thought of something, if you use my DNA for the woman, wouldn’t she be my sister? GOD: yea so? ADAM: so you want me to have incest sex with my sister? GOD: so sue me for wanting to watch you two in incest porn, get over it. ADAM: fine, take my rib, I’m so horny right now I’ll even screw my sister. [God picks up a rock] ADAM: what’s up with the rock GOD: I’ll need to knock you out because taking your rib will hurt like hell and you’ll want to be unconscious for it ADAM: ok just hurry up. [God knocks out Adam] [Once Adam wakes up, Eve is sleeping next to him, then she wakes up] GOD: ok the first thing before you two start screwing, Adam, Eve, you don’t never ever want to eat from that tree. [Pointing to the tree of knowledge] ADAM: why don’t we want to eat from that tree? [Pointing to the tree of knowledge] GOD: Because it is the tree of knowledge. If you eat from it, you will die EVE: What is “Die”? GOD: Die is not being alive ADAM: Will we die right away? GOD: No, not right away, but in about 900 years or so, after you’ve had some kids and stuff. ADAM: Kids? What are kids? GOD: You’ll have to eat from that tree [pointing to the tree of knowledge] to find out EVE: Okay [starts to walk to the tree of knowledge] GOD: No, stop!!! Do NOT eat from that tree! EVE: But you said I wouldn’t know what “kids” are, unless I eat from the tree. GOD: That’s right ADAM: But we mustn’t eat from it….. GOD: That is correct. ADAM: Because….? GOD: Because then you will have knowledge ADAM: And that is bad because….? GOD: Because then you’ll die EVE: But not right away. GOD: correct, in a few hundred years you’ll die ADAM: And dying is bad? GOD: Of course dying is bad! You’d have to leave the Garden of Eden and come up to Heaven. EVE: What is Heaven? GOD: It’s where I live. It’s a place of pure joy and ...

Bet they wont lick it now.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Looks like they already did...

I hate that I'm the type of person who gets super motivated by getting points & moving up levels, so...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

I just try to either annoy jerks or make people laugh.... (easy to do both at once). I get bored easily and both my Assbook profiles were suspended so I made it to level 7 in three months.

Do your family and friends think you're going to hell?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 21, 2019:

Everybody tells me that all the time.... I just tell them something like hell doesn't exist, prove it, or quote the bible to them.... It annoys the hell out of them...

No villain thought of this?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2019:

https://wgntv.com/2019/07/18/nebraska-woman-claims-spider-man-sculpture-is-a-hate-crime-against-the-church/?fbclid=IwAR2AbqAlP9o95gY1DIez8rQfTxa3mwvJG1d9VN009Up6pwWPD_bfW4MlrkE

Just saying...😳

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 20, 2019:

So you have a premium account?....

Alien versus Predator

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Sounds about right...

Insurance screw job

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Not in CA the law doesn't allow it...

This is why I freak out much more often than I used to, right here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

I found the perfect trash can for your place...

Penguins and polar bears stayed home

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Yet when you cite science to show them how stupid that concept is they tell you how stupid you are because you don't wear a funny hat....

Maybe a few more

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 19, 2019:

Note to self: Next time up the THC dose in the cookies...

Okay then...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2019:

All kinds of pie...

That'll do it!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2019:

And so do I....

The perfect pair.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2019:

I just wonder why their owner would shit on the table...

I can hardly wait.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 18, 2019:

I wish....

I am getting so tired of getting hate mail from the Republican​s through the mail I bought a ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2019:

You can find it on EBay for a little bit over 15 bucks a pound tax included and free shipping... https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40=p2060353.m570.l2632.R3.TR12.TRC2.A0.H1.Xglitter.TRS0=glitter=28102

What kind of pie....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2019:

This kind of pie?...

This is the kind of rescue cat I need!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2019:

All my cats rescued me...

The perfect meme!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 17, 2019:

I like this one...

Popeyes is upping the game!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 16, 2019:

https://agnostic.com/group/Meme/post/373109/yes-please

Uh...you might wanna rethink that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 15, 2019:

Well I am a grandpa...

Death Threats and Drained Bank Accounts: Life on the Wrong End of the Mueller Probe - POLITICO ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Serves him right and no the campaign was not cleared of criminal wrongdoing in fact Mueller specifically stated that Trump and many of his associates had in fact committed felonies and many charges were filed with no small number of convictions. The sole reason Trump himself wasn't formally charged by Mueller was stated in his report.... AS PRESIDENT CONGRESS MUCH IMPEACH TRUMP SO HE CAN BE CHARGED.... This is a legal requirement for the charges to be filed now but since his campaign is tanking unless the Democrats do something stupid like forcing another Third Way tool on the left after he leaves office you can expect a list of charges to be filed against him, his family, and nearly all of his appointees and associates which will result in long sentences in both state and federal prisons...

How do you console a young boy who's father has just committed suicide?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2019:

Sit him down and talk with him. Many kids will think that losing a parent this way is somehow their fault and the anger and shame of this can completely tear him apart. Let him know if his father hadn't come with him to make sure his job with you was legit it would have shown some room for doubt but his father must have loved him very much to have gone through the trouble to do so. Let him know that some people are troubled more than they let on to people around them and will at times get to the point where they believe suicide is the only way to end the hurt. Also let him know when a person for one reason or another decides to end their lives there really isn't much you can do to stop them. Let him know you understand his pain and are willing to listen when he wants to talk.

The crisis on the border is not the first time, in American history, children were removed from ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2019:

They did the same thing to Naive American families as well... Also for a time they were bringing people in from other countries to use them as human exhibits in zoos...

My son can beat up your honor student

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2019:

You know you might be a Redneck when...

It gave me an earworm - which I included [youtu.be]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 13, 2019:

https://youtu.be/NtEpqlrwX5c

[gph.is]

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

So admit it how many of you were like....

You're probably wondering why I called you here...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

All worship Bast....

I would agree with that.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

It is spelled "panties..."

Baby steps! Lol

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

Fuck that...

Onwards....!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

I like this one...

Question: When engaging in actual intercourse, what is the average estimated time before a guy loses...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 12, 2019:

I have heard varying figures in different studies from about 3 to 5 minutes... I guess most guys are just minutemen....

This is why I freak out much more often than I used to, right here.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Roommates are a pain in the ass. It looks like their mommies did everything for them growing up and they never had to learn to do for themselves. Keep in mind as well that being roommates with friends is an excellent way to lose friends I suggest you might want to find a better situation for yourself because this can adversely affect your studies as well as causing you mental issues. Some people never grow up and many of those people are mired in the paternalistic culture...

They need these at Walmart.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

And no more of having three dumbasses from your family divvying up the items in your cart then using the same fucking ATM card to pay for the shit either....

But I don't want moist real estate.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

In Yucaipa on Calamesa Blvd and County line Rd.... I know one of the Realtors who works there she helped me buy my house.... https://www.google.com/search?client=ubuntu=fs&q=moist+realestate&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

Just a few of the reasons depression is creeping up on me again.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Need more Oreos in this world...

When I drop something....

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Me just thinking about this subject...

I saw it on the history channel so it must be true.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

Stop giving away our secrets...

All too true.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 11, 2019:

The choice of champions...

Uhm - but... never mind - I'm going home.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 10, 2019:

Fucking Windblows.... It sucks... Which is why I switched to Linux... I don't have to pay hundreds of dollars for a shit O/S that is completely vulnerable and makes me pay more money to provide half assed protection or just plain fails to work right after an update because they paid some asshole in India 5 bucks a day to write it...

This would have been the perfect date but I just couldn’t get him to come out of his shell.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Jul 9, 2019:

I happen to know a guy... https://youtu.be/OJWJE0x7T4Q