The story of my life

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

It is worse when you are retired....

Like Cerberus, but you use corn for the sop.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Funny how every time that suggestion gets brought up the Christians go even more batshit insane than they already were...

He needs guidance

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Looks like a lifetime member to me...

This month's selection, "The Pinot Noir Grapes of Wrath".

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 30, 2024:

The only good reason to own a remote...

Guesssss who?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 29, 2024:

By the end of the first week in a cell he will have farted himself to death...

They did not buy me this

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Maybe they should have.... A book like that growing up could have saved you a lot of trouble...

Not going to wait for the lottery

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 29, 2024:

She said Aquaman not Whaleman....

This stupid asshole! 🙄🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

And now he thinks he would be a great soldier...

481 points to level 8!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Looks like a Nun getting choked during sex....

Michell made it level 8

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Unless she pulls so hard she slides off the couch....

If only we were able to see the look on our faces.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

First there was Grumpy Cat but now we have Pissy Kitty....

Another truth 😁😁😁😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

Or on the floor shredded because the cat got hold of it...

I was on her mind - always

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

That was my sister I was smart enough not to get caught...

Gotta remember to turn it back to normal.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

My cats would think that was a new toy just for them and I would lose a buttload of butt napkins

Free to carry should also mean free not to carry, no matter what it is.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

Florida also lost over 12 billion in GDP during the first year of their anti-immigration bill....

Along with Tik Tok, ban truth social too

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 27, 2024:

And Shitter too....

Wrong section

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

Looks like the MAGA section to me...

And she nails him in the corner again!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

What a crock of shit.... I bet though you figure being a cheap hooker is ok right?...

Damn religious nuts

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

Welcome to Texas Moses....

Can you spot him?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

My name was never in the results for giving a shit...

Ewwwww no!!!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

I can think of a lot of people I would be happy to serve that too....

And don't call me Shirley!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

*Groans...*

Oh HELL NOOOOOO!!! Buried in my backyard is what's going to happen!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

Now that is doomed to end badly... FYI it is always best to pour in about 200 pounds of Thermite and light it before filling in the hole...

I would disown my children for being Republican, I didn't raise them that way!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 26, 2024:

At least you can still love them for being Trans... It is much harder to love someone for being a racist hate monger...

Please, I beg you. Read food labels.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

At least it doesn't say *" Will cause 3rd degree burns"*

From Mar-A-Lago gym

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

LMAO... https://youtu.be/RehAs_I3Xmc

You cannot unsee it

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

Somehow I can actually see this as a thing.... I just wish I could unsee it now...

There was a problem in the gym the other day

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

I bet when they don't she wears a gee string and a fishnet sports bra....

Trump Dining Pal Complains Women No Longer Fear Men Popular Neo-Nazi Christian Nationalist Nick ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

At least we can be thankful he will never reproduce....

It's hard to raise kids

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 25, 2024:

Those girls look like they want to teach him what pussy his father was talking about...

He has friends

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

... https://agnostic.com/group/JustforLaughs/post/753997/rejected-courtroom-sketches

Thanks but no thanks. I'm not taking part in that experiment. 😆

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

I can help her with that but my price is pick of the literate...

Africa's wise ass

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Must be her bull doing all the work...

Weighing up the evidence for the Historical Jesus - The University of Sydney

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Over a 400 year period there were 26 so-called "prophets" claiming to be "the Christ" all of whom were heavily documented by both Greek and Roman authorities. None of them match the so called Jesus of the bible nor did they live in the approximate period the church claims. The bible itself proves that Jesus was simply a story made up by the Eastern Greco/Romans during the Jewish wars. Nazareth itself did not exist until much later as an attempt to provide "evidence" of the biblical accounts of the early life of Jesus and disproves them because incidents described in the bible could not have happened due to the lack of the type of terrain described. Also this so-called town was actually a cemetery and as a result it would have been forbidden by the religion of the time to live on top of the dead. This is just one example that disproves the bible as a credible source and if you do have a copy of the bible with pilgrimage maps inside you might be interested to know that Nazareth is not on them and neither are other important landmarks... Even the concept of people being gathered to be taxed was ludicrous as the Byzantines used a system of "tax farming where a region was put up for bid and the person willing to pay the Emperor the highest price would have the right to squeeze as much as possible from the people of that region. This would result in an armed force traveling from estate to estate and town to town "assessing" the value of what people owned and demanding the taxes they wanted and if someone couldn't pay not only was their property confiscated they were often sold into slavery. Many members of the Senate were created this way as it was extremely expensive to buy a seat...

'Sexualised' Jesus painting sparks controversy in Spain

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Oh boy another White Jebus....

Happy Wednesday Eve!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 24, 2024:

Believe it or not I have seen gates locked like that....

In stark contrast to America's Christian nationalists:

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

And yet he still endorses Ukraine surrendering to Putin so he can finish the genocide he started....

Catholic priest resigns after backlash involving his criticism of a gay author -- Frioendly Atheist

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

The Catholic church has always been a stain on the reputation of humanity...

Jesus is leaving everynody

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I just saw some wanna be "Soldier" as the store next to the VA wearing hunting camo and crocs topped off with a MAGA hat. Worst of all the stupid bastard was Black so I asked him why he didn't just wear a Swastika.....

Found a Southern patriot

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

I am going to post this in the conservative group...

I can't recommend a solution

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Get a penis enlargement and talk to your priest.... After all he has been fucking your whole family for years...

Hopefully Kennedy and his running mate will sink Biden’s chances of winning the 2024 presidential ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Hoping for a Nazi regime are you?...

The false hero of the South

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

And people wonder why Christinsanity is failing....

It's not a competition

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

Because they look lived in and happy?...

This is just so funny, because it is the Australians trying, almost too hard, to be more Australian ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

What no beer?....

Check out these memes! 😂😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 23, 2024:

If that action figure is real I will take a dozen of them....

I am counting

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Getting real close now.... This one is having a fit that nobody gives enough of a shit about him to storm the courts....

Take your time. There is no hurry. ;)

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Look at it the second right?... I bet you stared at it the first...

Today's the holiday named in honor of my old tinder account-passover.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 22, 2024:

Most of those dating sites are owned by the same company and all the ones they own are fraudulent. Fake accounts made by the company, hookers, and scammers are about all there is but they promise you will do better if you have a "paid account" yet as far as I have been able to tell through research that is just bullshit to get you to give them your credit card information and canceling is next to impossible.

Uncanny Resemblances

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2024:

And both have so much in common they were/are complete idiots and degenerates who proved they didn't have the attention span or competence to rule.... Hitler was just more successful at it...

Friday night I had way too many drinks and put Windows 10 Pro on my oldest daughter's computer.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2024:

Make sure you report this to your state's version of CPS and let them know that you want full irrevocable custody of your granddaughter and forward the letters to them as well. Make sure this scum gets nowhere near the girl and make sure your daughter only has supervised visitation when she gets out. That is what I would do.

I can’t help it. I am easily amused. Too easily methinks 😛

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 21, 2024:

*Arrrrggghhh*....

Mag all gone

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2024:

Dave's not here....

Hey Ivan! Want some borscht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2024:

Ukraine aid passes the house.... https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/4/20/2236274/-Russian-stuff-blowing-up-House-passes-Ukraine-aid-bill

Hey Ivan! Want some borscht?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2024:

Either leave or become fertilizer....

I had no answer

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 20, 2024:

Life is a bitch when you get so drunk you can't find your way home....

The story is repeating...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 19, 2024:

From golden calf to golden bullshit....

Attention all you wannabe Nazis, this one's for you.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2024:

Trumpanzees are so stupid they can't understand they are self owning....

What a busy day!!!! Ready for tomorrow!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2024:

I hear Ukraine has been selling those to buy other weapons they need to protect themselves from Nazi terrorists...

Yes, this is me, just before I'm about to give my piano recital of "Chopsticks.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2024:

And you love a good cigar while playing the piano right?...

That's not love, Bud!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2024:

Be careful what you ask for you might get it....

Can I get a little slack now?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 18, 2024:

How about that an intelligent version of Donny the Dumpster....

What would be your favorite song?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2024:

I was more like... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmmPFrkuPq0=TheMoodyBluesVEVO

What would be your favorite song?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2024:

My ex-wife would have been... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aowSGxim_O8=TomPettyVEVO

This is what happens when governments are allowed to bring about so called "Hate Crime" laws to ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 17, 2024:

This is not a hate crime it is criticism of a politically connected corporation.... This is NOT "what happens when governments impose hate crimes" it is what happens when governments allow bribery...

Have you noticed? Hint: 'NYC'

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 16, 2024:

#DrowseyDon https://youtu.be/oyjjFgdda90 https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/4/16/2235489/-This-trial-is-hell-for-Trump-and-at-age-77-he-might-not-survive-it?pm_campaign=trending=sidebar=web

So happy Monday is over but my Tuesday is going to suck so hard!!!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2024:

Smack him kitty... And girl you made the right choice...

Thank goodness for GPS.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2024:

Did they use a 4 pounder or a 12 pounder for the exam?...

Bonus Word Joke A bounty hunter rides into a small wild-west town one day, and heads straight ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2024:

*vomits profusely...*

Trump and Mike Johnson zero in on noncitizen voting.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 15, 2024:

Year after year, decade after decade the same truth comes to light. By far the majority of voting illegally comes from Republicans... It doesn't matter if we are talking someone voting their dead relatives ballot in addition to their own (some times after murdering said relative) or voting in multiple jurisdictions or stealing information on multiple registered voters as an election officials and changing their status to vote by mail and then voting some times 20 or more ballots for Trump this is common practice on the far right.

Are we there yet?!?!?!

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2024:

Is that classical music?.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PaUTnk9k9Y=Movieclips

Would you like one?

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2024:

How about that now you both have to unzip your fly to get a blowjob...

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2024:

MRGA Math Retarded Gnoff Asswipe....

Not that j can compete w mr glenn , or mr Z , or michelle , but u know it i am gonna try EVERY time ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 14, 2024:

If the MRGAs yell hold my beer and watch this I am thinking of using the call sign "Death..."

I don't remember if I posted some of these memes before...........

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2024:

Hey Lynne what are you doing tomorrow night?....

I’ll just see myself out…

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2024:

*groans*

Twin sons from different mothers...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 13, 2024:

Something fishy about that guy.... You might be a redneck if the fish has better teeth than you do...

Liberals are always willing to help

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2024:

MRGAs are too stupid to learn.... Make Russia Great Again....

People say I'm very quiet

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2024:

...... https://youtu.be/IrMTLV2cR2Q

packaging is everything

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 12, 2024:

And you wonder why Pringles make you fat....

Extra security, coin operated

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2024:

What a unique water saving device...

Extra security, coin operated

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2024:

I would hate to be the janitor who cleaned up that mess...

A disappointment of growing up

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2024:

Ladies remember if you want a sensitive man who isn't afraid to cry..... just stick a boob in his mouth...

Cannot take it lightly

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 11, 2024:

And the moral of this story is.... "Never flush a baby alligator down the toilet or it could come back to bite you on the ass..."

I agree! Worst apocalypse ever! Wish they were all gone!!!! 😂😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

If I were the sun I would want a much longer than 4 minute break....

Just in. You may be eligible.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

See me at the top of any tall flight of stairs and I will be happy to push for that compensation... Pun intended.

And some people wonder why we have so many problems with illegal imigration.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

1) Mostly those Regan phones, welfare, and subsidized housing is going to worthless lazy Republican voters... The free education is good for the economy the real problem is the looting from religious and privatized schools that dilutes the ability of public schools to operate properly while lining the pockets of billionaire Wall Street Republican donors... 2) The house Republicans blocked the toughest border security bill in history because Trump wanted to make it his campaign platform so blame the Nazi party... 3) News flash everything the house voted to impeach on was so fraudulent that even most of the Senate Republicans voted to dismiss... Jeff Bezos is a fraud and has caused the Washington Post to become something to wrap garbage in...

Now you know...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

That joke is as old as Mrs. Hippie on the far left in the back row...

The "short and tubby" section, where I shop, isn't impressive either, TBH.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Who took that picture of my cat?...

Early education on Trump

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Or when somebody farts they call it a Trump even though it isn't orange...

They would make it one of their sacraments

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Maybe we should pass a law that all Catholic priests should be called Priest Hankey...

Bobo Boozing Barbie 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Yep that is her all right... Such a boozer that she even got tossed out of Trump's last joke of a fund raiser...

Vatican blasts gender-affirming surgery, surrogacy and gender theory as violations of human dignity...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Keep in mind this is the same Vatican that wants Ukraine to surrender so Putin can commit yet another genocide with his blessing...

Vatican blasts gender-affirming surgery, surrogacy and gender theory as violations of human dignity...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 10, 2024:

Fuck this guy he is just scared that Catholic boys will become girls and they won't have anymore altar boys to rape...

Oh what a nap!!!! 💤💤💤😂😂😂

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2024:

Thanks facebook....

Imagine that...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 9, 2024:

In high school I was a founding member of the apathy club.... No picture in the year book only a mention of the membership list.

I didn't know a cow was this holy

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2024:

Newlyweds....

This SOB illegal,busted on drug and gun charges mocks America on social media and urged illegal ...

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2024:

I am betting this is fake news... How about a little real evidence like an actual credible source?...

Pre N95 Masks , back when you cut your own eyeholes.

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2024:

Run that by us again?.... Calling bullshit on you and the rest of the Klan.

Cat Obsessed With Baby Brother Thinks He’s Also A Baby | The Dodo Cat Crazy - YouTube

Lizard_of_Ahaz comments on Apr 8, 2024:

This is actually common behavior for cats and they will become extremely protective of the child...